Masturbating on omegle when in a committed relationship.

Hey capt,

What do you want to do and why do you want to do it?

My line in the sand was I wouldn't do anything interactive. No chatting, no webcamming, etc. My SO's line in the sand was no P at all. This caused quite a problem when it all came out. Everyone has boundaries in relationships. You know how your girlfriend feels about porn (at least mistrust). You are doing something that seems like "more than" "just" porn.

This sounds some of the strong signs of addiction. Make a plan and stick with it. I strongly recommend a good therapist that you are comfortable with to start with.

This might be why your girlfriend mistrusts men who watch porn. What kind of relationship do you want? An honest, open, intimate (more than just sex) one or do you want a friend that you have sex with? (Yes, that's a false dichotomy.)

Another way to look at it is how would you feel if your girlfriend was booting up her laptop to show her body to random dudes and masturbating with their encouragement. This might not be a perfect comparison, but I've talked to guys who are very into something when they do it, but aghast at thinking of their girlfriends. Would it make it better if she didn't think the guys she was talking to were "real". What if they didn't think she was "real".

Or another way would be what would her reaction be if she was watching you do this? Would she be happy with the state of the relationship? Would she think that the trust she's already invested and the trust she's planning on investing in you is being fulfilled?

Search in yourself, be honest, and find your motivations, feelings, and desires. Maybe do a cost/benefit analysis. Answer if this is what you want. More than just the gut "no". But why. Make a plan. Make a good plan. Commit to the plan.

Those aren't particularly helpful questions to strangers. We come from a variety of backgrounds. If you spend enough time reading journals and other posts in these forums, you can find stories of much worse. They've helped me with context and getting clarity into the problems I've created for my life and relationship and in particular, how I've hurt my SO throughout it all. But better questions might be: Is this what I want out of life? Is this what I want out of a relationship? What kind of man do I want to be? What kind of boyfriend/husband/friend do I want to be? It sounds like you've answered some of these already. But make a plan. Follow through. Get help when needed.

 

If you are not honest with her, and you don't change your ways, your going to get caught sooner or later. It's happened to me and it's come close to causing divorce. I'm still rebooting so it's still stressful. You don't want to be here, so you either have to stop now or face the consequences. It's better to admit it and let her know you are actively seeking help. A lie never dies.. nor does the truth.

 

hey, I was in the exact same situation as you were at one point, I myself was caught, she went on to my ipad and found out and seen conversations of me not only sending dick pics to women, but also men, (I am not gay) also something that she was really questioning after the fact of seeing those conversations.

I fell in to a rut where I needed people to tell me, '' wow, it's perfect'' or '' I would love to ....'' and like you, would never cheat in person. that would you be subconsciously knowing it's wrong, but rationalizing to make it ok, I did it for years. and an addict will always find those rationalizations.

to me, and my wife, it's cheating, my wife now considers porn to be cheating after all this because it almost ruined our lives together,

that is just my take on things briefly, but I'm at work and need to get going, I'd you want to chat more about it, feel free to send me a message,

fight on

 

Your story is very similar to mine dude. I wanted to stop, but couldn’t and hated myself for it.

My soloution? Therapy. It turns out I was heavily shaped by my experiences as a kid and a teenager. When I first viewed porn (a young age and accidentally, like a lot of people on NoFap), the separation of my parents and an abusive relationship in my mid-teens.

I’m not saying I’m not accountable for what I did. I am, my actions are my own and nobody else made those decisions. But therapy gave me the opportunity to reconnect with emotions I had buried with cybersex and porn. I was able to understand myself more and why I turned to them.

I cut my addiction piece by piece and it’s getting easier to maintain streaks.

Therapy isn’t for everybody and I’m not saying it’s a fix, but it might help if it’s something you haven’t considered before.

Good luck with your journey friend.

 

Preaching to the choir here but I struggled/ am struggling with a webcam addiction that includes omegle. I am in a long distance relationship as well. I too would recommend therapy. I think it's helpful if you have the means to go.

One thing I've done with my therapist is establish a list of values. These values explain why my webcam habits contradict my values. Among them are things like "I value being faithful," and "I value my self confidence," and "I value spending my time wisely." Maybe a similar exercise will be helpful for you. Start thinking positively of what's important to you. Write it down. Recite it. It's been helping me.

And write here! It's a great commitment device!

Keep in touch man you can get through this I believe in you!

 

Don't fool yourself man, you can't read the future.

It's unhealthy in the sense that you're hiding stuff from her. "Won't go down well"? Well, then you got the wrong woman in your life if that happens. It's better for you that she understands what's going on, so when she says "i love you", she actually loves you, not some fake perception of you.

 

Yo captain-hummus, you are not alone! A friend of mine recommended this site to me after a conversation we had recently. I've been retiscent to sign up, for one reason or another, but when I saw your account I felt compelled to create a profile to let you know you're not fucked up. Or, well, maybe you are - but if so, you're not the only one. I am in the exact same position, asking the exact same questions. Not sure if that's of any comfort to you whatsoever, but I certainly felt somewhat reassured knowing there are others like me out there. I don't have any useful tips that'll help you crack it as I'm still working on that, but happy to be a soundboard if you want to DM me.

 

I'm in a similar situation. I love going on cam sites and showing it off. It feels great when you get people saying nice things about your body, encouraging you to cum on cam etc. I would spend hours trying to find the right person to interact with. The problem is you never really know their motivations. Are they really that in to you or are they just recording it to blackmail you later? It feels great when you're on cam but as soon as you finish you feel dirty. Tbh i'm just posting here because I was thinking of going on cam this morning but I don't want to break ny streak. It always happens, I think I can show my dick on cam and not wank but I always end up doing it anyway. It's a real struggle to stay away from the cam sites but I have to.

 

good job coming here. I hope you held up and didn't go to the sites! We don't need them!

 

You need to come clean to your girlfriend

 

You are exactly where you need to be on this forum...I am a long time chatter / Cybersex /phonesex addict...
I can tell you it will destroy your relationships
It will be destroy your self esteem
It will to hook ups and escorts most likely.
If you need an AP sing out as you descrived my life and I'm sure I could give you some insight in it all.

All the best.

 

I am 29 .. watching porn since I was 12 .
Never new I was addicted .. never heard of nofap.. just going on..
I tried to stop this and believe me you can hold it for a week.. but when weekend comes .. it's all back and you'll think it's ok to stop for 5 days and I'll watch now and get satisfaction and then from tomorrow onwards I'll try to abstain for two weeks..
Well tomorrow is Sunday .. you'll watch and fap it again thinking you'll start from Monday..
In next week you'll do on thursday by accident and then you'll think ooooppss .. ok.now it's done so I'll again start from Monday and the you'll watch and satisfy yourself on Friday Saturday and Sunday.

Now on Monday you'll think ohh I'll start from 1st of next month it's only 4 days away and swearing this time..

And it's all going to repeat and I'm next month you'll block some websites .. then stop watching youtube for some time and this sort of things you'll do whole year.

Trust me.
I found that two year ago that there is something not proper while having sex with my gf..

And after that two years i kept giving excuses that I'll stop from today from Monday from next month and many more.

Now it's been 20 days and I have stopped it all. Nothing at all.. and now I don't imagine sex at my office.. I don't imagine sex in bus... I don't imagine sex while commuting..

The secret is..
I started reading a novel. It doesn't give me time to think anything else. I come from office at 5 and get into that novel and I read it till 8 .. have dinner and again back to it.. call my friends on phone for time pass... Then back to novel.. sleep at 1am and wake up at 7 am .. back to novel.. I don't watch TV.. I don't watch movies on laptop.. infact I haven't opened laptop in days.. I read on Kindle so there is no option of just googling stuff and distraction by anything..

I chose a novel..
The mistborn triology..
It has 3 books in series.. and then three more books in series .. and then 2 books as prequel..
Total 8 books..
I have reached on 3rd in 20 days..
By the time I complete 8.. 90 days will be passed..

Also the book.is great..

My suggestion: reading is excellent habit. Select some book with long series and get yourself involved into... Also this book has no porn or sex stuff so you'll not reach down your trouser while reading it.

It helped me a lot and I already see changes in my routine..
I need less sleep.
I am attentive at office .. I feel a new energy in myself..

Try it out.

I might not have explained in some attractive fashion and with good vocabulary.. but trust me it has helped me ..
And surely will help.you.


Plus don't read other people's problem Bec that might excite you..
Don't visit this website again and again and ready other people's problems..
Like .. I am not reading your problem Bec that might excite me to do something..
Just come to your post read suggestion.. post new if needed and log out..

 

I had this same problem too. I came out about it recently. Me and my significant other are still sorting shit out but at the moment we are together. Its honestly a hellsite. I wish 16 year old me never saw it but what can you do you know?

 

Your lucky your SO hung around to sort it out...I have heard the addiction to chat etc is similar to thst of playing gaming machines / slots / pokies... it is that rare 'jackpot' where people will interact with you and play / cybersex hookup etc that keeps us coming back for more...

I hope it is working out for all of you in your relationships and we are collectively moving forward.

Goodluck team

 

Hey,

I think you are on the right way getting an account and let the community know about your problems. I for myself think nothing is impossible and you can achieve your goals right here. Allthough it will take some time. Maybe it helps you, if you focus on your hobbies. You said when on hiking or climbing you dont even think about the PMO stuff. So you are a sporty guy and I think if you focus on some other sports too and if you use your time better then now, it could help you to strengthen your will.

Keep it going, I believe in you

 

Hopefully talking with us here will help you get more comfortable with it and you will be able to discuss things with your gf.