I always convince myself that PMO is not the cause of my vows.

Hey Skywalker,

My urges tend to come fast and heavy when I get stressed/anxious/depressed. This can be from work, from studying, from wherever. Some of these won't apply directly, but a couple ideas come to mind:

1) You don't need to walk the tight rope all the time. If you have problems with giving into urges at home, go out. Study at a library or a coffee shop. Get around other people where the external taboos/sources of strength outweigh your internal desires. When I'm sitting idly at my computer with nothing better to do, it takes an act of willpower to not to search for P (it's gotten easier with each time I've overcome my temptation, but it's still there and I have some close calls where I need to just leave my computer because I know what my next search will be).
2) Find things to fill the hole that PMO leaves in your life. It sounds like it filled a lot of time and a lot of needs for you. You need to find other things to fill the time and fill those needs for you. There aren't too many one shot ideas out there, but exercise, meditation, prayer, interactions with others, listening to music that takes you to a happy place, watching stand-up (be careful with triggers in some of them), etc.
3) Be mindful of what you're feeling/experiencing. I've found keeping a private journal has been helpful here. It's helped me identify some of my triggers and how some of my urges start to develop before they become unstoppable.
4) Find someone safe to talk to. Whether it's through a group or just a friend that you trust. Having someone that I report back to on a regular basis has helped me keep focus on my goals. Also, if you can identify when your urges are starting early enough, having someone safe you can call and say "Hey, temptation is building" and who understands can help you find ways to get your day back on track in ways you might not think of when your head isn't clear.
5) Set a clear goal for yourself (preferably more than just I want to be PMO free for 30 days which to me isn't the ultimate goal) and really get into the why. Come up with concrete reasons why this goal is important to you. Do you want to be a better friend, a better spouse, a better employee, etc. Once you have this goal in mind, come up with concrete steps to achieve that goal where being PMO free could be one of them. For example: I want to be a better spouse (because I've caused massive problems in my relationship).

• So I'm going to be PMO free for at least 30 days (though it might be longer - there needs to be time to heal),
  
• I'm going to research ways of being a better spouse (spiritually and emotionally - the ways I've been truly lacking in the past) and follow through with what I find
  
• I'm going to demonstrate acts of love to my spouse in a concrete manner every day (making the bed, doing dishes, tidying up, offering no-strings-attached massages, affection and offering myself to be there),
  
• I'm going to work on my health in terms of eating better and exercising because it will make me be in a better mood and more able to be available to my spouse (and maybe make myself more attractive to my spouse while I'm at it)