DESPERATE NEED OF HELP

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

I've been with nofap maybe four or five months. During the middle of that, I had a great streak of maybe 24 days. Mostly because I had a great relationship with an AP. My addiction comes from puberty so is a more severe case.

Every day I meditate, I take cold showers, I exercise, I talk to girls, I have written my aims, reasons etc. for quitting porn. I have porn blockers on my phone and laptop. MY laptop I have k9 but through urges I have found a way to bypass this and I have done that tonight. Twice. full PMO relapse.

I understand the process of changing how I try and reboot each time but what I can do from now? delete the internet? every blocker can somehow be got around. I hate watching porn but it fills a biological hole in my brain due to some fucked up shit from when I was young. Maybe I don't talk with my APs enough and maybe what I watch on youtube I probably wouldn't watch with my parents but I have tried controlling it.

Everytime I get stressed or tired I watch youtube to wind down, my routine gets fucked up and I get less sleep from watching too much youtube. Then it leads to more inappropriate viewing and then that triggers my urges, I might last a night from then on but my brain senses a losing battle and the relapse will happen.

I really want to get rid of my addiction but I feel like I don't know another way of trying this without controlling every aspect of my life. Has anyone gone to therapy?