120 days now....

thrilled, excited....and it has been physically rewarding, but even more so, spiritually....

I feel free, thank you, Jesus.

 

I will be honest, I just stopped cold turkey feb 9 this year....the wear and tear on my body was getting to much, my nerves were literally inflamed at each climax, it was at the point where it was more pain and heart pounding then release....

the guilt of the sinfulness of my act, and believe me, I had been doing this in one form or another since at least fourth grade....I just got tired of refusing God's continual grace to stop.....until feb 9th...I just stopped, period.

and that of course meant out the door with porn of all sorts, fantasies of every kind had to stop as well....

and again, I am stating, this has been a blessing from God....His strength sustains me....and without being smug, it has been pretty easy....why? cause I surrendered to God's will....

now, I post a ton of celebrity pix on craigslist, and I have one particular internet model I just adore...and she is quite the edge of porn kind of model....but as incredibly sexy as I find her in everyway....since I stopped, I can still post her pix,and see her on Instagram, but HAVE ZERO DESIRE to masturbate at all...

physically, I feel so much stronger, and not just willpower, but my body feels different...I exercise, so that always helps, but I can look in the mirror and just see im better....I just don't want to go back...it isn't worth it....

I will keep my eyes on a higher power, cause He is keeping an eye on me.