Accidentally very aroused at my job

That’s definitely normal and you didn’t relapse. Learning to controls your thoughts is what this is all about.

Next time a tall woman comes in remind your self of this.



You can say in your mind she is beautiful and attractive without saying “I want to have sex with her”.


Avert my eyes after seeing a woman who I may have looked at in this way in the past/take self out of situation (easy mode, using this in the early stages of my reboot)

Focus instead on making eye contact or saying "hello" with the person - (may have an added benefit for insecurity and self-confidence?)


Focus instead on my conversation partner or my wife (visually focus on them and appreciate some of her features, recall a fun memory...)


Humanizing/Personalizing the stranger (they are a daughter, mother, friend, colleague... with dreams, struggles, etc. just like me and others I love)


Understanding what my value system has been as it pertains to "attractiveness" and beauty


Reflecting/visualizing the type of man I want to be and being honest with myself about how this behavior will not lead to that outcome.

 

Wow great job on the 300 days!!!

I’m no expert, but from what others have assured me, this is a normal part of being a human. We have sexual urges, what we do with them is the answer. I wouldn’t call this a relapse.

In my SAA meetings there is this one guy who started attending meetings for sexual anorexics. His focus is trying to figure out how to have a balanced sexual mind and find out what that means.

for me personally I am very very scared of arousal and that sex or mental fantasy will somehow unleash the addiction beast and cause me to relapse. I don’t know anything about sexual anorexia and am still too new to consider this. But it seems like a good idea, to learn how to have a healthy relationship to sex.

This might be the next stage in your recovery. Trying to find out what your personal balance looks like, and how to work towards that. I’m AA it’s called your “sexual ideal.”

By the way, it’s super amazing that you were able to get erect by simply seeing someone. That type of sexual sensitivity hasn’t happened to me in a long time. I guess in a weird way this shows you are definitely recovering.

As for the mental lust, I try my best to not ogle girls longer than a few seconds at most and try to ignore them. A friend told me that doing some quick prayer or meditation in the moment (like a mantra) can help with this.

Super proud of your success! Keep it up! You’re an inspiration to me!