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Wife on 2 week trip starting Sunday

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by 4-digit counter, May 14, 2018.

  1. 4-digit counter

    4-digit counter Fapstronaut

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    So I feel pretty confident I can hold off until then, but I'm really worried about a relapse since I had a recent reset (which is what prompted me to join). I'm only abstaining from porn, so my plan (this almost worked her last trip) is to masturbate for the first week as soon as I get in from work (before I have time to look at porn first), as I typically lose interest for some time after masturbating. The 2nd week I want to abstain from PMO so I don't have any issues having sex when she returns. I'll also be making sure there's always something else to do around--games, books, movies, hanging out.

    Any advice is appreciated but I'll see around Sunday how I'm feeling.
     
  2. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    in my opinion masturbation and porn go hand in hand (no put intended). You want to get yourself out of the habbit cycle and masturbation is a que to porn so i believe, if you are an addict, then abstaining from both is the best option.
     
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  3. 4-digit counter

    4-digit counter Fapstronaut

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    I don't really know if I would call myself addicted at this stage in my life for either. I don't want to EVER use porn, which is why I'm on this site--but my wife and I are OK with occasional masturbation; as long as it doesn't affect our sex life. Regardless, I will actually be able to just stay late at work pretty much every day, which will take up a lot of extra hours.
     
  4. People are afraid to label themselves addicts, like it hurts their pride to admit their weak to something. I hope you take a second look at that. You probably wouldn’t be on this site asking questions and afraid of relapse if you were not an addict. Accepting that small word is the first step to real authentic healing. I know that because I am a sex addict.
     
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  5. 4-digit counter

    4-digit counter Fapstronaut

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    Well, it wasn't that long ago that I was definitely an addict. I know what you mean about being afraid to call yourself that--full sincerity here. I've learned to accept that this is an issue for me and to not beat myself up every time I have a slip up; and more importantly, to not give up. I was doing well for months prior to my slip up a week or so ago (at the time of writing). I appreciate your response!
     
  6. Nobody really knows how addicted they are to PM until they struggle and/or suffer through the early severe withdrawal symptoms like I did and many of us did. It's like an equation. The severity of cold turkey equals the severity of addiction. So many millions of people have no clue how much they're deep in the hole until they want to climb out. At least I'm climbing out. I feel sorry for all those who are so enmeshed in PM that they accept it as essential to their very existence, like food, water, and air.
     
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  7. What exactly are the withdrawal symptoms? I’m on day 8 of this current streak of hard mode. I have almost cut porn completely out of my life over the last two years and have felt a lot better. So I’m curious maybe what symptoms I should be expecting during my hard mode reboot. Right now I’m just experiencing intense horniness and lots of erections.
     
  8. You might experience such low motivation to do anything, even simple chores. I had a kind of tearful 'mental suffocation', lamenting leaving my PM past behind. This is all because of the severity of the addiction. I realized this and rode the storm until the worst of the storm had passed. Strong daily affirmations made me survive the worst of the 'memories and mind games' phase. Now, all I need is calm detachment, like stepping outside of myself, to simply observe the mental and physical turbulence until they pass. Also, being busy enough with fun projects and purposeful activity helps immensely.
     
  9. 4-digit counter

    4-digit counter Fapstronaut

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    Sweet success! Wife is back and I am amazed there was no porn while she was away. Definitely tempted a few times but I really wanted to write this post instead of an "I failed" post. Hooray!
     
  10. So awesome! You must feel great about yourself! My wife and kids are going away for only a weekend this month and I’m terrified at what I might do...I hope I can be as strong as you are.
     
    4-digit counter likes this.
  11. stephanD

    stephanD Fapstronaut

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    @4-digit counter Just read this whole thread because I totally relate and just wanted to add my congratulations for making it.
     
    4-digit counter likes this.
  12. 4-digit counter

    4-digit counter Fapstronaut

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    @Tiger uppercut! @stephanD Thanks! I don't post much I guess lol but still doing well. I know that since I am only abstaining from p that if I talk about some of the things that I do I can be a trigger for others...

    @Tiger uppercut! What are you abstaining from? (On mobile so I can't see) I suggest always having something fun around--a book, video game, movie, etc. Go for a walk / bike / run. Boredom is one of the biggest issues I have.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. Porn and masturbation. Yeah comics and video games usually do it for me when the rest of the family is here...but once they leave I know the alcoholic porn watching beast from within will try to talk me into having my own little party. It’s going to be a true challenge.
     
  14. 4-digit counter

    4-digit counter Fapstronaut

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    @Tiger uppercut! Sorry if your weekend has passed already, haven't been on in a while--maybe have a friend overnight?
     
  15. No worries. The weekend has been pushed back till the end of July. So I will have plenty of time to prepare myself. I was in fact thinking of having a friend over.
     

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