So, how to control that hardest urge that I am having right now?

Take a cold shower and get the fuck out of your place.

 

try to sleep, probably u see wet dreams

 

Cold showers: feeling uncomfortable for a few seconds/minutes and then feeling good for the rest of the day.
PMO: feeling a short mediocre pleasure for a few seconds and then feeling shitty for the rest of your life.

If you take cold showers (at least one) everyday, you'll find it WAY easier to resist urges ! And I highly recommend adding meditation !

 

I think the physical activities of cold shower and running or "getting the hell out of there" are all good. But at some point you need to just sit with the urge and feel how it affects you. This is best done somewhere public, like a library or park, where you're not likely to act out. It might even be necessary to find a therapist who will guide and support you through the process of sitting with the urge.

When you do this, several things need to happen. First, try not to judge these feelings or push them away. In fact, part of the process should be noticing if you are judging the urge; even rating the urge as slight or intense is judgment. Second, a way not to judge the urge is to embrace yourself with kind thoughts. Mentally picture giving yourself a warm and loving hug and imagining what that feels like. And, third, see if you can notice where the urge came from and watch what happens to it as you focus on it. Did something trigger the urge? In what part of your body do you feel the urge? (You might be surprised that you don't feel it in the most obvious place, your crotch!)

In a way these three steps follow a Buddhist and psychology practice referred to as RAIN: R = recognize the urge, A = accept and acknowledge the urge, I = investigate the urge, N = non-attachment to the urge. This last one is a bit tricky as it involves a belief (faith?) that the urge is not you, but a construct of the mind. Consider the urge like a passing cloud that you watch drift across the sky of your mind and dissipate before your eyes. You can't hold a cloud and it's constantly changing, just like an urge.

Peace, brother.

 

i have been trying to gee myself up to taking cold showers lately but just don't seem to have the will power at the moment. I think i will look to start again tomorrow morning. what i find good about them isn't really linked to NoFap per say but if you want to start your day alert, wide awake and fresh its the best way to go. Plus after one week try and tell me your skin doesn't look and feel 100% better!

Its funny i ended up looking forward to them (Jumping straight out of bed) unlike now just lazing about for 20 mins trying to wake up. Its probably no concidence i was about a month into a NoFap streak when i started (Gotta love that drive) and unlike now i was doing it in the depths of a bitter winter. -8 outside and snowing like crazy that's not stopping me!

 

Thank you for this wonderful message. It is very useful and it will help me in the fight.