Is it ok to have sex during reboot?

What are you trying to gain from your reboot? Is your reboot so far no PMO or no PM?

 

I think it should depend on your goals and the nature of your relationship. Fapstronauts warn people about the "chaser" effect, where after sex you get turned on and are more liable to follow up with porn. This is something to be wary of. Apparently a "full reboot" is a quicker recovery path. That's the theory, anyway.

Having said that, I'm in a relationship and only doing PM. Sex is part of our relationship and PM related problems were getting in the way of our actual sex life. A big reason I'm doing this is so we can have a healthier, closer, better sex life. Everything about our relationship has improved, not just sex.

If you're having sex with your gf and doing PM, I recommend making her your accountability partner if you can and she can handle that. My gf is basically my AP. If I'm having urges, I tell her about it and she talks to me and puts it in perspective. And in many cases, holding off of PM results in great sex later, so it's almost like a reward for keeping my shit together.

Everybody is different though. YMMV.

 

You got a great reply from @PastaTherapy

I am also doing no PM and had sex with my wife after 15 days no PMO. I felt a slight chaser effect afterwards, but it was easy to get past. Some people have more of an issue with it.

IMO be prepared for it and have a plan for dealing with it. Best of luck with it!

 

Having my partner as a AP has actually worked wonders for me personally and in my relationship. Im currently on my 4th day of no PMO for 14days. Everyday I wake I realize I'm winning and am growing stronger. I agree with PASTATHERAPY!

 

Good work so far on your journey, a month is a big milestone to hit! As Pasta mentioned above, you need to be educated and aware of the "Chaser Effect" which is very real and incredibly difficult to manage. It's likely, not certain, that after you have sex your brain will think its time to go back to a PMO lifestyle. The urges can be really rough.

People who go hard mode argue that this is the best way since it gives your brain a chance to fully reset without having to manage the depletion that comes from an O.

Just stay aware of your brain and thoughts after you are intimate with your SO. If they are filled with negativity or strong urges, realize that you aren't back at square 1 and that they will go away eventually too

 

Chaser effect huh? That explains a whole lot. Time to research on this. Thank you so much for the eye opener.

 

I'm with you PastaTherapy. Definitely was having issues with a healthy sex life with the wife. ED, indifference, emotionally unavailable. I'm a few weeks off the PM and those things are changing. We've had some pretty good rolls in the hay since after day 9. Things are looking up.

 

Im on the same boat as far as having sex after 15days. Well 14 days really im currently on the no PMO 14day trial. Its been 5 days now and still doing strong. I did in fact feel the same ol pattern of urges to my nad behaviour however becauae of nofap and the community's information and insight i did excellent in keeping my focus and self restraint. So looking forward to being with my wife after the trial. And yes ill keep my attention out for that chaser effect. Blessings and strength to you all!

 

You're doing great Don, and the same back at ya!

 

Same here... I am definitely seeing an improvement with the wife after abstaining from PMO. Trying to always remember what brought me here in order to stay focused and away from that chaser effect.

 

Thanks all for posting on this topic. After 11 days without pmo, the wife and I had a good session. No issues from PIED or recent PM like in the past. Crazy thing is that I lasted a decent amount of time. No real chaser effect. Some crazy dreams that night tho. Which has been fairly common the last 2weeks.

 

Man this really resonated with me....I am in the same position yet I am actually terrified to tell my girlfriend but the PM is definitely negatively affecting our relationship. I struggle with the idea of a full reboot and further ruining our relationship or just telling her and seeing how she reacts and she potentially helps me.

 

Tell her. Keeping secrets only serves to hurt the relationship further in the long run. Once the wound is opened, it begin to heal. But if you keep picking at it in secret...it's going to become infected.
What's worse? Asking for help and having her be upset, or her finding it out AND the fact that you've been lying? The first option is more likely to gain her support.

 

Thanks a lot...seriously I will take your advice

 

Thank you Male