Why can't I get a GF? Any thoughts?

Wait wait wait waaaaiiiittt--are you seriously saying that you only feel confident when approaching other Asians? No offense, but based on what you wrote, I would guess that you are unconfident overall and are only assuming that you would fare better with Asian women since that appearance is what you're most familiar with.

Am I wrong?

Do a lot of things to boost your confidence! Nofap is obviously a huge part of being confident and approachable, but develop hobbies, exercise and practice sincerely talking to people. Finally, work on the racial assumptions. Before I became addicted to PMO, I had girlfriends of a few ethnicities because I was confident and well-rounded. Good luck

 

To me this issue has been a rather simple one than we make it out to be.

I used to always ask: is something wrong with me? why won't any girls pay attention to me? The tough answer is that YES in fact there is something wrong with you, and girls won't pay attention because there's nothing to pay attention to.

Harsh as this may sound, accepting that will be the fastest way for you to grow and overcome this issue.
I don't currently have a girlfriend, and I'd like to, but I'm honestly not bothered. Because I understand the game, and I'm well on my way.
I get plenty of attention when I want from females, but getting a steady is another story.

So ask yourself: Am I in a secure mental state to take care or be a friend with another? Do I have the means to provide (for taking a girl out to dates and so on.)? Do I have a vehicle to do the activities that I want? Do I have a secure future that will grant me some sort of financial security? Do I have a place to live that can accommodate another? Am I an upstanding citizen in my social community?

I know it's a lot. But I guarantee you if you have at least 3 of these things checked out you will have a girlfriend. I have never seen somebody who has all these questions checked but still lack a partner despite wanting one.

There was a time when I used to look up on the internet on how to be confident and I devoured every article. But none of them worked. The reason was simple: I had nothing to be confident about.
There's people who claim that confidence is just a mind set and that all you need to do is simply BE CONFIDENT.

Well let me tell you, confidence is something that is built, it's not some kind of switch. So go and build something of yourself. Make things that you can be confident about. Being free of PMO is one of them. Just think about having control over your urges and to delay satisfaction. That is badass, and that is something you can be confident about.

 

The question "Why can't I get a GF?" sounds as if you feel entitled to have a girlfriend.
Better to ask 'What am I doing to work on myself? Am I doing things so that meeting girls who are interested in me comes natural?'
If we put all the focus on getting a GF when we do meet an interested girl we will suffocate her with our neediness and turn her off.

 

I like the answers.

In sum: you should not try to feel like a man but truly become one.

 

I think you should work on yorself and when your'e done,write down all the qualities you want in a girlfriend and all the things you dont want in a gf.Then narrow it down to 10,that way you wont just be looking for just a gf,you would be looking for youre ideal woman.From there you go to a mall,or a social place,you just start going up to random women and start a convo get them to laugh,etc.Get their number,repeat a couple times.That way you can naturally build confindence.

I dont know if this can work for you but it worked for me good luck dude.

 

I think that you should stop looking for girlfriend. AND start working yourself. start training, joking, learn something new (playing guitar,etc)
I had this same problem and i still have. Feeling of being alone is painful. That rage that builds up inside when you see happy couple walking down the street.
Concentrate what you want to become. AND really do that.
Just focus what you need now, and what you need is to stop thinking about girls. Because what Koaladude said is so true.
Concentrate healing yourself mentally and physically. And then someday somehow you will find that ONE and only girl for you.

 

I agree with most of what is said here about working on yourself, but would like to add one more thing: find an activity you like that is exciting, and gets your blood pumping. The reason women seem to like "bad boys" so much is that they seem more exciting than "Joe Ninetofive." I don't know what you have available to you in New Hampshire, but Obstacle Racing, Tough Mudder, Spartan Race, etc. is fun and exciting and is something that many women like to participate in, too. Ideally it would be something exciting you can both do.

 

Nothing attracts a women more than confidence. You gotta get it!

 

All men can have girlfriends but it’s rare when you meet a woman of your desires. I meet many women who are interested in me but they don’t turn me on and those who turn me on are not interested in me. That’s the case with men who are without girlfriend

 

^this topic is 4 years old so its pretty random to post now

might as well ask for an update on this situation namekian23?

 

It doesn't matter where the other is from...
It's just your physical and phychological energy
I would suggest taking dance lesson or whatever has to do with social interaction.

 

Do parental expectations play any role in your dating perspective?

 

In terms of relationships, once you stop looking, the right one will come.

I understand why people in NoFap (including myself) want a girlfriend so bad. But remember just because a girl wants to date you doesn’t mean she’s the right one or good for you.

Anyways, good luck, but you should take this time out to continue to work on yourself, and eventually a good girl will notice and things will progress from there.

 

Be confident, and make your intentions clear. Don't just do small chat ask them for their number if their interested call them setting up a place to hook up.

 

......so....any update yet?