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We should NOT be aroused by watching porn in the first place!

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ultrafabber, Jun 22, 2018.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    We are watching other people having sex. We are not the ones having sex, in fact, it that moment, we are utterly failing at having sex.

    There should be no arousal here. The fact that we get aroused is ABNORMAL. If it's one drive that should kick in, it's our COMPETITIVE drive.

    It would be normal to get aroused when you see a willing/naked female ALONE. Seeing her getting it on with another male should kill your arousal cause you're certainly NOT getting her. Imagine liking/being attracted to a woman in school/work etc. Then she hooks up with some other guy. Would you ever, in a million years watch her have sex with him? Would you stand NEXT to them? Would you get erect??? Would you ejaculate to her moanings triggered by that guy? If you would, wouldn't you question everything about yourself and think something is really messed up with you? Then why doesn't this apply to porn? Cause it's on a screen? Cause you can't be seen?

    Also, it's absolutely abnormal and absurd how many ERECT PENISES and CUMSHOTS we saw over our PMO-addicts career. Our ancestors probably never saw another man's ERECT PENIS or CUMSHOT in all of their lifetime.

    We see them daily. We see them up close. We see them ejaculating. WHAT THE FUCK.

    Why would we ever be continued to be aroused when something like that shows up???

    You are suppressing your (natural) aggression response with your arousal.

    Seriously, this is a fundamental shift in engaging with the porn issue. Why fight abstaining, why consume your time and energy fighting? "Abstaining" from it would imply it has some intrinsic value. You just need to change you frame of reference.

    ....Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
     
    Buddhabro, naonaise, Kenzi and 4 others like this.
  2. Julius93

    Julius93 Fapstronaut

    This might hold for the mainstream porn, but not for each genre. Porn still wins this argument, but I agree with you on that porn in general is distasteful in some manner.
     
    Mrs32114 likes this.
  3. I do agree that hanging around wasting hours edging and jerking off while looking at videos of others having sex is unnatural and unhealthy .But as far as getting arroused looking at that type video seems it be a natural reaction for the majority of men,I can't speak for women.I do wonder what the ratio is for those that can watch without getting hooked and those such as me that developed a problem.
     
    Buddhabro likes this.
  4. turquoise

    turquoise Fapstronaut

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    Is this thread about shaming people for their arousal? Because I don't agree with this approach, and the OP's statements are flatout wrong. It is not abnormal to be aroused by porn. If it were, there wouldn't be millions of addicts out there. Let's best this thing with knowledge and community, not ignorance and shaming.
     
    PMO addict and Brooklyn Jerry 70 like this.
  5. It’s because we mind fuck ourselves, literally. We don’t watch people have sex, we, naturally are the one to go and have sex. But if we get this urge to have sex and keep holding this thought then we get horny. Then we fantasize and that’s what porn is, essentially fantasizing because we are shooting this image into our minds that this is feeling good. And more dopamine as we consume more which gets us here etc. So yeah, I agree with OP, don’t get aroused in the first place, don’t feel lust, don’t get aroused in the first place. Arousal is energy burning, heat of fire. But everything we do burns it’s how we channel the energy, but you must channel the energy before you get aroused, because we weren’t meant to be frustrated. We are suppose to be free, but we aren’t. So do as you please, how you choose to expend your source of energy is your choosing, I will not go into right and wrong arguments because I can not argue with how one chooses to turn his focus and energy for he is a righteous man, I can’t tell a right man he is wrong, so there is no point of arguing, but I can say that we can learn to expend our energies much more efficiently and sufficiently if we learn to use the energy before it turns to lust and greed and envy and turning it down the path that we wish to fulfill unfiltered.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 22, 2018
  6. I guess porn could be compared to drinking, some can have a few drinks once in a while no problem.Others go on a bender. I'm sure some can watch porn,get aroused and not spend hours edging. You can't really change your reaction to porn,but you can control your action. If you can't, you do have a problem same as an alcoholic that can't stop after one drink.I realize I have a problem with porn and am trying my best to keep it out of my life. Just my humble opinion.
     
    Deleted Account and thorswrath32 like this.
  7. No, I think he means literally, we as humans should not be in the position where we have to ogle at other couples having sex, that just doesn’t happen in nature. One goes and gets sex and procreates and I’m sure the partner always obliged, normally. You can have a drink, a drink is okay, watching/fantasizing about P is not okay and should not be accepted as normal. But of course there’s a point where if you drink too much it’s gonna hurt you but that’s another topic
     
    ultrafabber and naonaise like this.
  8. PMO addict

    PMO addict Fapstronaut

    I think I get aroused when seeing P***. I think there is a kind of vicarious thing or a thing with mirror neurons. I can't really explain it but I definitely get aroused by P***. I dont think judging it as wrong will help.
     
    Buddhabro likes this.
  9. I admit watching porn does make me horny. When I was younger it did cause me to get an erection, not so much any more unless I touch myself. A few times when I was married my wife and I watched porn in the bedroom when we had sex. I guess I liked it more then she did.
    I just saw on the news a women was almost raped,she got away by putting up a fight and a kick to the nuts.You wonder if the guy watched porn before going out and doing this .
    I had written here before that we used to watch porn at work and a few times it caused me to pick up a hooker for a BJ on the way home.Other times it made me horny and and if my wife wasn't int the mood for sex that night it sure made things bad for me.So in my case porn is not a good thing for me. I guess some can use it and not have issues, whats th consensus on this?
     
  10. Have you ever thought why looking at pictures of food can make you feel hungry? but it shouldn't because it's a picture and not real food. It's much to do with emotions since our brains associate smell, vision, touch, sound with emotions. The brain is doing what it's supposed to do, look for reward in the most efficient way possible and cues that are all around us send our brains firing on all cylinders. It's our pre frontal cortex that helps us to judge and compare all of these cues as they are processed by the amygdala (the part of the brain responsible for storing memories and emotive responses) It's interesting that there have been studies which have proved the pre frontal cortex of the brain actually shrinks in those who have compulsive and addictive behaviours, meaning their capacity to make a clear judgement and comparison is skewed. I agree it 'shouldn't' make sense to simply be satisfied by just pictures alone but it's the emotional side of it linked with our basic instinct to procreate where porn is concerned that is so enticing, it basically reminds us of what we are actually trying to achieve but the paradox is that by continuing to only be satisfied by pictures/videos we are getting further away from the real thing.
     
    newlife1975 likes this.
  11. Effing BRILLIANT
    Not at all. Effing INSIGHTFUL.
    TRUTH

    Great insights , ThanQ
     
  12. newlife1975

    newlife1975 Fapstronaut

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    I have no doubt that for a lot of people, including me, porn is absolutely horrible. It is and was absolutely destructive for my life.

    But the below sentence. *deletes a lot of stuff, takes a deep breath* This is just no true.

    It is way too easy. Only one female on display, is not just less, but just as bad. Or two men, or two women.

    It might even be interpreted as homophobic. But I think the writer just used the example of heterosexualism and the same would be true for same sex couples. So I will give him the benefit of the doubt on that one.

    The reference to the competitive drive however seems to refer to our reproduction. And that sex is for reproduction. It is for sure not as as simple. Even in other species. Just look up animal sexual behaviour in Wiki. A well documented example is the Bonobo, in that species sex has a very central social role.

    It is clear that both men and women physically react to visual stimuli. There are some differences when viewing stimuli not in line with sexual preference. The feeling of arousal reported reaction by men is mostly in line with the physical reaction, there are some differences for women. Exact reasons are not clear. The authors of the scientific article give as an option that there might be differences in how the brains of men and women in handle visual stimuli. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2739403/

    It seems clear that to get aroused by "watching other people having sex" is normal.
    There seem to be huge problems around porn. But they seem to be very much linked to high speed internet. This scientific article discusses that https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5039517/

    Porn use seems to be involved in all sorts of other sexual problems. The exact relationships, cause or (side-)effect, etc. I am not aware of. I am not learnt in this field.
     
  13. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    Well I don’t know if I speak for anyone else but when I watch porn... okay yeah I’m watching another man have sex with a hot woman, but I’m not really focused on the man. I’m turned on by the woman and what she’s doing...

    So this whole thread is a bit stupid. By the sounds of it the person who started this thread focuses more on the men than anything else.
     
    turquoise likes this.
  14. I’d say everyone is different and has different intake levels, but I feel as long as you don’t hurt anyone else, then you should be fine, but then you have to worry about yourself. Healthy body, healthy mind and vice versa
     

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