Not Sure if I Should Quit or Not

Pardon the long post, I just started typing and bam, it was pretty long.

I feel like my reasoning for quitting PMO is completely different from everybody elses and I feel sort of trapped. So growing up I was an outcast for most of my life, spent a lot of time alone, didn't talk much, was just...there. This is kind of hard growing up, not really having fun much, having to find a way to entertain myself, make myself "feel good" I guess. I turned to PMO to help with that somewhere in middle school. Eventually it became a routine thing that I just sort of... did. It helped clear my mind, helped me sleep, helped me get over rough times, all that. Oddly it never affected my thinking however. I still see girls as just slightly more intimidating humans and I rarely think about sex. The few people that I do talk to frequently call me one of the most innocent people they've ever met, simply because I just do not have a dirty mind in any way. I originally discovered NoFap when I heard that a week without fapping could lead to an increase in testosterone aka a snazzy beard. (later found this to be false ) But somewhere along quitting PMO for a week I realized I really was addicted. So I decided to do the whole NoFap for the sake of shaking an addiction off. To my surprise this is more deeply rooted than I thought. The longer I would go, the more emotionally unstable I would become. Sometimes it'd be positive, but sometimes it would be absolutely horrid. Lack of motivation, constant fear of death, being sad for no reason, easily irritated just to name a few. My body really does not like me taking away it's main source of that "feel good". But if it's causing me those kind of problems when I try to quit, I feel like I have to. I don't like being dependant on something like that. I've thought about replacing it, but the only things that ever gave my mind some peace and clarity are snowboarding and running. However, being a freshman at an engineering school, I'm way too busy to drive out an hour to a mountain and spend a day boarding and an hour drive back. And being in the north during the winter in a downtown area, I don't have many places that aren't covered in ice to run on. (I broke my ankle in the past running in the winter and hitting a surprise patch of ice, don't feel like risking it again). I don't have a lot of interests otherwise, just videogames. So I guess I don't know what to do. Is quitting right for me?

TL;DR Quitting PMO gives me mental instability, but PMO in itself doesn't have much of an effect on my brain. Quit or nah?

 

I suppose I should add I've got some nasty social anxiety and I'm pretty introverted. No prom, girlfriends or even so much as a girls number in my entire life.

Not sure if this sort of thing was implied or not.
Or if it's even relevant.

I'll just put it out there with the benefit of the doubt.

 

That was my reason in the beginning, it sort of dropped out after a while and I'm not sure why. After trying so many times I guess I've gotten a little weak willed. This shit is hard man.

 

Thanks for the ideas welmwerth.

To be honest I've wanted to go to the gym really badly, but I have yet to make a friend here at college and the gym on campus is... less than satisfactory to say the least. I feel like driving out to a gym in town would be worth it if I could have a partner to accompany me, otherwise I'd probably lose interest myself.

As far as the walks, I don't know why I've never thought of that. I've never gone on walks myself personally, when ever I would get completely flustered I'd usually go drive out into the forest for a while until my head was clear and come back. Walking may be a little slower, but I can see it working perhaps. I just wish that campus wasn't so...in town. Not much nature nearby.

The meditation I should really stick to. I would do it whenever everything was fine and dandy, but when the going got rough I would stop, which pretty much defeats the point. Making it part of my daily routine could help.