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Life is not a video game.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ChangeofDavid, Dec 2, 2014.

  1. ChangeofDavid

    ChangeofDavid Fapstronaut

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    I'm doing well with the no P.
    However the MO part is harder.


    I was wondering after giving in to an urge
    What is the best way to reset your mind?

    As to make sure it doesn't happen again.

    Also I honestly think trying to beat records
    definitely isn't helping me right now..

    I feel silly, life is not a video game.
     
  2. Karegador

    Karegador Fapstronaut

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    Damn it man! Life is a video game. Have you not seen the Sims?! :p


    Kidding aside. There is no good way to handle MO urges, short of cutting off your hands. Seeing as only a crazy person would do that, you are just left with having to strengthen your will power. You'll find that sometimes you will find yourself in awful situation where you can fap right then and there, and there is no one available to hang out with(thus making it impossible to masturbate), and can't go out because of a deadline or some such thing.

    You can try running rhymes through your head, try to focus on a puzzle, or even excersise. But if that thought is refusing to go away, there is little you can do except for will yourself to ignore it.

    I am sorry if this sounds bleak. I am not trying to discourage you. All I'm trying to say is that there is no magic bullet so you may as well face that bull head on and simply refuse to give into it. I won't lie, it is hard to do but with practice it will get easier.
     
  3. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    there is no way to reset the mind. we are not machines. our mind needs time for healing. think about how many pornstuff you watched so far. all this mud is stored somewhere in your brain. your brain needs rest and gap. then it must handle all this mud somehow.

    i had nearly 20 porndreams and 10 wet dreams since i started all this abstinence-thing.

    for me this is the sign that my mind is getting clean - it is healing it is working. but this whole cleaning process needs plenty of time.

    you must be very strong. i know there are brute urges. but this brain-cleaning process requires a strong will. there is no other way.

    we have the choice - porn or no porn?

    i could easily visit some pornsites and fap the whole day - but i dont do it. porn is harmful. it is poison. it is fake! everything in porn is fake! people having sex like animals without any feelings - for money or for whatever. this people cant be healthy!

    i am not against sex! i am against the fake pornworld.
     
  4. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    I find I have easy days and difficult days. The easy days are when I'm not going to have any downtime and have to stay busy. The difficult days are when I have time to spare. Ultimately, I have to make a decision to do something to take my mind off of fapping. It can be anything. But it is a decision. A decision to get out of the house or read a book or put my mind on any activity other than fapping. I'm slowly learning that it is a choice every time. It doesn't make it easier sometimes, but it is a choice. And it's a choice you might have to make every day or many times a day for awhile.
     
  5. IGY

    IGY Guest

  6. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Wow, this is a very interesting question. In my early stages of nofap I thought the best way to 'reset' your mind was to binge and get it over and done with. I now know that this is not recommended and will most likely make it harder to abstain in future.

    I sort of agree with posts above that it seems unlikely that you can reset your conscious mind after a reset. Sure you can force emotions on yourself (like guilt, shame etc), however I believe that the subconscious mind is a lot more powerful than your conscious mind. Urges and rationalizations come from the subconscious mind, so if your subconscious is still telling you to masturbate, you will find it very difficult to outlast the urges.

    Although you can't influence your sub-conscience directly, you can train it over time, so that urges can subside more easily. Training your sub-conscience will also give you better self discipline and therefore self control. Training methods include:

    1)Meditation and/or yoga
    2)Regular exercise
    3)Eating healthy- plenty of fruit/veges, keeping up with vitamin/ fibre intake etc
    4)Staying hydrated
    5)Taking cold showers
    6)Healthy sleeping patterns
    7)Immersing yourself in your hobbies
    8)Making an effort to socialise with people

    And specific to nofap:
    9)Research porn/ masturbation addiction
    10)Identify how porn/ masturbation is affecting you/ why you want to stop
    11)Keep a daily journal
    12)Help others on the forum (this will also re-enforce your own morals)

    For me, I've definitely found masturbating harder to abstain from (than porn). However these addictions are so intertwined for most. You would definitely benefit from cutting out both from your life. The first month is the hardest to find the motivation to cut out masturbation. After that it does get easier, though it's still no picnic. :p

    Regards to you, good luck!
     
  7. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    @IGY

    i am wondering right now. how will you reset a brain which was bombarded for years with hordcorestuff?

    is there a reset-button?

    in total i have done 140 days abstinence now - with one relapse. i am in no case rebooted!

    when i close my eyes i can recall plenty of pornscenes - extrem clear (in HD-quality with sound).

    all this scenes are etched in my mind/brain/soul.

    in my opinion resetting is impossible - slowly healing is possible. this will never be a fully reset of your mind/brain/soul!

    and i go further there is no fully rebooting for us. i also stopped drinking alcohol. i am not an alcoholic but i know if i would drink alcohol i could not avoid watching porn.
     
  8. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Hi monkotto. Thank you for your question :)

    Well, I find the evidence presented on www.yourbrainonporn.com is compelling. The rewiring of neural pathways in the brain is possible and this has been demonstrated time and time again - with many achieving this @ 90 days (with complete abstinence from porn). Kind regards: IGY
     
  9. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    IGY - maybe the level of addiction is different (as the case arises).

    in my opinion 90 days abstinence is far too short - "to be cured".

    i would say minimum 365 days abstinence. then maybe we can speak about a "rebooted" person.

    :)
     
  10. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Yes, we are all different, for sure! Your views maybe right for you. But how about all those that have success stories after 3-6 months? :)
     
  11. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    i am sure there are also many people relapsing after this period of abstinence (3-6 months).

    3 months for a 10-20-30 years lasting heavy addiction?! for me this is like a joke.

    but this is only my opinion. there is no science behind that. i have no evidence for that.
     
  12. IGY

    IGY Guest

    No doubt, in some cases, you are absolutely right.
     
  13. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    For how many years were you using porn/ masturbating prior to starting nofap monkotto?
     
  14. ChangeofDavid

    ChangeofDavid Fapstronaut

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    I sort of agree with all the posts above too. M seems a lot harder to give up then P right now. I find myself stuck in bed especially this morning. After about 10 minutes of not getting up my will power plummeted. I think i will be jumping out of bed the next time I feel like that. Or rolling out of it if I can't manage that.

    Socializing is hard mode for me lol
     
  15. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    about 12 years. the last 5 years excessive (several hours porn daily).

    i am 36 years old. my addiction started late. i was addicted to weed. after stopping weed use i started with porn.
     
  16. welmwerth

    welmwerth Fapstronaut

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    I think I feel the same way as monkotto and a few others about this.

    My mind has been exposed to "porn radiation" for a long time, but it's not just that - it's a combination of PMO, anxiety, loneliness and maybe other issues that just made it worse.

    Sometimes, I don't think I can even have a normalised view of women. I can't tell if it's actual attraction or objectification any more.

    I'm not sure if I'll truly have a "reset" where I'm back to how I was before I got into porn, it might be possible if I went into a complete hermit/solitude mode and not see civilisation (including use of Internet and other media) for several years.

    But, that's not my main aim - it's more about trying to gain some energy and time to do something useful (before I turn into that crazed PMO abuser?), whatever that may be.

    Though, I wouldn't want others to end up like me, I would suggest trying out as many positive ways as possible; to resolve the problems or manage them at least, so you can live your life.

    The examples provided by posters like NoBrainer are good practical ways to approach the issues. I'm using some of them. And yes, strong will and self discipline is important.

    Yeah, I don't generally like seeing it as a game either.

    All the best and stay resilient.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
  17. monkotto

    monkotto Fapstronaut

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    i thought many times about this. imagine two or three years in a monastery. not for lifetime.

    this would be a real reset! a perfect reboot!

    a very simple life. everyday the same procedure. no hurry, no hunt, no emotions good or bad - only silence. working daily in a garden. no phone, no television, no internet - no media! meditating whole day and truly cleaning mind and brain. in our civilisation/society this is not possible.

    david for sure this is not a game - but this day-counting is like an anchor. we need a foundation or better a starting point for this process.
     
  18. ChangeofDavid

    ChangeofDavid Fapstronaut

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    It feels more real every day the challenge continues. I'm going to try and think of more techniques that I can work on to avoid inconvenient situations.
     
  19. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you that 3 months of your life seems no match for a 12 year porn addiction. However great progress can be made from neuro-plastic changes in the brain by abstaining. If you were exposed to porn once your brain had fully developed (after adolescence) it may only take you 3-6 months to fully reboot, as IGY says (which in retrospect is only a fraction of your life). Even though your addiction has been lengthy, complete sexual abstinence may see you being fully rebooted in those 3-6 months.

    My reasoning is based on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
     
  20. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I also recommend this video monkotto: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99RGE4OEqlg
     

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