I just cried

Emotions are temporary, they come from us and our thoughts. You can get back to ten days and beyond, but it has to be your choice. Accept and acknowledge that your emotions are real, but they are not you. You are You, and you make life yours with your actions, choices. We can learn from them, it will be okay as you can choose to make the right choices.

 

I personally wouldn't see your negative emotions towards PMO and self destructive behavior as something negative. You can use them to give you strenght to actually change your life. It just shows that you still care and want to do something with your life.

In my past I had a point in which I stopped having negative feelings towards PMO and just did whatever I wanted, leading to more risky behavior and some very bad moments in my life. Keep fighting and use the memories of these bad emotions the next time you become horny. Ask yourself "Do I really want to have all these emotions again just for some minutes of sexual gratification?" and use it as a weapon.

 

Don't beat yourself up, that'll make u relapse more. Just keep going and going, fuck the whole day counting thing. The urges u fought during those 10 days were progress, its not all just gone. Keep pushing, thats all that matters.

You can read this response I gave someone earlier, kinda applies to u as well.
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/is-this-a-relaspe.180011/#post-1533428

 

What you said here works! I can confirm!

 

Hey at least you can cry and let your emotions out, I cannot as I always have someone home that can hear and bother me even more by asking what is wrong. Sometimes as a man you have to let it out and let it go in order to move on. Unfortunately I need to find a place away from home to release these bottled up memories of pain and rejection from my past relationships.