[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 71.

 

Still in the red. I binged yesterday for the longest time in 5 months. I came home yesterday from class and the first thing I did was to open my laptop and start watching porn. I remember looking at the time. It was 6:43 pm. When I finished when all was said and done it was 1:19 am. My goodness! I cannot even account for that time. Not even the world cup soccer matches could get me out of my trance and I love soccer so much. It feels eerily similar to when I was completely lost in porn last year. I would lose whole days to porn.

This morning I woke up at 8 am. I have not woken up at that time for a long time on a weekday. I just didn't want to get out of bed. Somehow I did. As I write this, I am in the university library sitting quietly wondering what my next move is. I feel really tired and beat down. Excess ejaculation really takes a lot from a man.

All I can do now is practice abstinence for this day. Just this day and nothing else. No grand master plans for 365 days of nofap.

The good thing is that I keep a log of each day I am on nofap on a spreadsheet. While my counter goes back to zero, my spread sheet shows I am still winning and by a far margin. I can still look at my spread sheet and see that I have made major improvements from month to month in various areas. Some triggers don't affect me anymore as they used to.

The lesson I have learned out of the latest ordeal is that my view of money is not really balanced. It creates unnecessary anxiety. I need to reevaluate my relationship with it.

 

Thanks for the vital encouragement! It feels like a total disaster but I have not lost all hope. I am still here. I just need to get through this day PMO free.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience. Yeah, the pursuit of money is a cause of a lot of our anxieties in this life. I did over stretch myself due to greed to be honest. I have myself to blame. No one else. It is hard not to over think. Right now it is impossible. However, with time I know I will be okay as long as I stop binging from this day hence forth.

 

This is very encouraging. I appreciate that you have reminded me the role suffering plays in building one's character to take on even greater responsibility in life. I cannot lose sight of that. Suffering is not pleasurable but if I want to get better it is inevitable.

 

I like this. Indeed, I am worrying about trivial things to be honest. When I look around, there is so much to be grateful for, even just this moment's breath. Thanks!

 

There are 8760 hours in a year I've completed 2384 hours sex free that's an amazing feat that's 97 days out of 120 180 275 and 365 booyah when God decides and she chooses

 

Day 4/365

 

Day 142/365

 

Check-in day 115 of 365.

 

Day 14/365 completed

 

Day 2 completed

 

The best thing I can do right now to make it past day 4 is get from work to gym. I'm feeling apprehensive as I know how sly my subconscious can be. Here's hoping for a victory.

 

Exactly right - keep that gym bag packed and ready to just grab and go. As soon as you get home, think ahead and immediately re-pack some clean stuff. Think of it as your parachute when you're flying solo - it could save your life. Stay alive today and get stronger for tomorrow.

 

4 days.

 

1/365

 

I really like that metaphor. I'm going to repack my gym bag now, thanks for the advice.

 

103/365

 

Day 12.5/365

 

HEY! DROPPING IN TO WISH GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE PARTICIPANTS!