Forcing people to be interested vs allowing others to decide for themselves.

This reminds me of the 'I' vs 'YOU' mentality.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_W._Pennebaker

Pennebaker's discovers that those who overuse "I" tend to have lower status. This is obvious. Leaders are busy with the tasks of all the "you's" in his group(s) and low level workers only need to deal with themselves. However, leaders don't use "you's" because they're in power positions. Leaders simply have used "you's" all their lives. They were always concerned with others. They were thinking about the group, its dynamics, and its progress. It is these habits that bring 'leaders' into leadership positions. ("Self Conscious" is his issue)

Pennebaker has confused cause with effect. His letter samples are interesting because in his enthusiasm over counting the "I's" and "you's", it seems he forgot to read the letters:

1. Regardless of their status level, most people will write many "I's" when asked to write a 'favor letter'. This is simply due to the popular usage of the English language: "I am asking" . . . "I would like to invite you". . . "I would love it if " . . . ."If there is anything more I can do". . . "I am hoping."

2. Regardless of their status level, most people will write many "you's" when replying to 'favor letters' . . . again, simply due to the way we use language: "Thank you." "Nice to hear from you." . . .

Now here's when the rules change. Extremely low status, powerless people will almost always turn both 1 & 2 into "I Letters" whereas extremely high status, powerful people will turn both 1 & 2 into "You Letters". They might do this unconsciously, as Pennebaker assumes, but others will consciously and even painstakingly revise communications to a "you approach". Why? It's because they know that a 'you letter' is usually better received than a "me letter'. They know that a 'you letter' has a higher likelihood for compliance for whatever it is that they are trying to convey. They know that a 'you letter' tends to create deeper connections. The higher status that naturally comes from accomplishing these things well on a regular basis is if anything, an afterthought.

On the other hand the "I" people only care about status but fail to realize that their habits are counterproductive to what they are trying to achieve. Ironical . . .

^^
The takeaway, those of you who overuse 'I' tend to be selfish EGOTISTICAL liars. Those who overuse 'YOU' and 'WE' are concerned for those around them. Go ahead and do a search on these forums and you will find millions of dipshits using 'I . . .I . . . I, me, me,me'

It's all about them and that's it, that's why they won't get very far in their journals, however, everyone has a chance to change.

 

Another thing to muse over.

Ever wondered how some people just get everything? Like they attract wealth, status and desirable partners.

Now those in the KNOW will understand at a deeper sub conscious level this occurs because THESE people are GIVERS.

Those who are NOT in the KNOW, will find this concept rather complexing / confusing.

Wait, I have to GIVE to RECEIVE, but wait . . . what if I don't ever receive anything???

Nonsense, if you are a GIVER , then you will naturally be a RECEIVER. It is simply the natural course that the universe will afford once you dedicate yourself to this path.

So if you are a selfish motherfucker who only looks out for your own self needs, perhaps you don't even see it, go ahead and change your frame of reference.

Start GIVING and see where you end up?

 

god bless ya man, I love reading your posts too.

 

Lol. Do you always talk like a child wearing wings?

 

Found that people who parade their lives are never as happy as they claim to be. Facebook is a great example of people exaggerating their happiness as well as wealth but in reality a majority of em have insane loans as well as feel that they are not enough, depressed and so on, so many people brag to feel better about themselves. At the end of the day, we are all human and struggle with our problems.

Things might not always be as they seem to be.

But yes I stay away from people who are only interested in my ears.

 

You can't force people to be interested in you. They either find you interesting and are drawn to you or they don't. Trying to hard attracts people who want to use or abuse you but it won't lead to any kind of real friendship or relationship.

 

A good person need not brag about how great they are. They simply are. Simple as that really