[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 0/365

 

36 days done!

 

Day 8 (still) Feels like it's gona be a long one. I may be alone tonight for a few hours and I'm feeling quietly confident after resisting while alone on Sunday.

That said, I'm suspicious that my inner saboteur is using my recent success to lure me back home and trick me. I need to find out the specifics of this evening and make a plan to survive day 9.

 

Day 1- Finally broke the 6 day binge 'curse'. Wow! That was hell on earth to be honest. Spending at least 6 hours per day watching porn and masturbating has taken a toll on me. Yesterday, I decided to spend almost all my time wisely. I went out to see a friend, attended my regular Christian meetings, listened to an excellent entrepreneurial interview and then jogged for more than 8kms. It was the jogging that really made me feel alive again. Running in nature, amongst the trees and singing birds, just made me more mindful and zealous for life again. In addition, running non stop for more than 8kms was really a great accomplishment for me after having not jogged for such a long time. I remember while running having the sound track of 'Rocky' in my head..he he. I felt so powerful. Later, I meditated. And just like that my anxiety and hopelessness temporarily disappeared although they seem to back this morning albeit in small doses.
This feels like a greater achievement than my 61 day and 29 day streaks to be honest. I was afraid that the dark days of hopelessness and depression were back again to eat more whole. Now I am just glad that I managed a day of nofap. Who thought I would celebrate just 1 day of nofap so hard? I will take my own advice. Freedom is a day to day choice.

 

keep it for your every day schedule ,running in nature ,especially in the morning will build your inner peace and confidence.
i've been dong it ,and since then i feel very great and different from the past.

 

36

 

Day 76.

 

Day 19 for me

 

It's good to hear from you again. To be honest, your story makes me want to run as well! I finished my last exam for this semester about an hour ago, and I am looking forward to filling my time with more meaningful things.
6 hours porn/mast. a day is really a lot. It is strange, how something that is so attractive can be so destructive at the same time. Giving in to the temptation always leaves a scar in our conscience. The path of self governance is certainly not an easy one, but I think it is the only one that leads to lasting peace and happiness. You are in the right place!

 

Okay, I think I've got it now and it should be the last time. Here we go - day zero.

 

Edit: today is really day 2/365

 

102 days I feel absolutely amazing sometimes I doubt myself sometimes I don't most of the time I feel superhuman I think this is what it's like to be normal I wonder how much further we're going to go well we have a 275 day abstinence contract so I guess it's safe to saythat I still have 173 days which would be December 22nd but that can also be terminatedby God or my wife at any time but not by me is this what they callendurance? Stamina? Delayed gratification? Will power?Determination? Self discipline?Perseverance? Selflessness? Patience? Determination?Strength? Self control? Empathy? Altruism?ContinuousImprovement? Habit forming? Content? That's just the ones I could think up reallyquick what else couldyou do besides fapyourself?

 

Day 9/365

 

Day 3/365

 

There's so much more to life than finding someone who will want you or being sad over someone who doesn't. There's a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn't' need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love but don't romanticize life like you can't survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn't any less beautiful, I promise.
-Jay Shetty.

 

0/365

 

Day 1

 

Good to see you!

 

I'm not proud to admit it, but I'm back to day 0 -.-

Since there is no other place on earth where I can share about my recent spiritual path, I'm gonna do it here:
Since my relapse cycle started, I tried a number of different things to get back on track, but kept relapsing regardless. Sadly, I realized that I don't seem to make progress with any "nice" techniques, so I decided to try something different:
I promised myself that if my next streak isn't gonna be at least 10 days long, I'm gonna confess my whole situation to my father. That's how I broke 10 days for the first time.
After 10 days I said: If I don't make it to a specific day, I'm gonna fast for 5 days. After 1-2 days I relapsed, and you know what? I fasted for 5 days - not fun. But I wanted to send a strong message to my brain: This is for real!
What did I do then? I asked my self how I could have relapsed, and analyzed what was going through my brain when I relapsed: "For just 5 days of fasting I can end nofap for good." (That isn't my rational me, but my extremely horny me)
So I decided to go one step further: Make a new promise to myself: For the rest of the year I will fast for 3 days after each relapse, and for each orgasm during my fasting I will prolong the fasting for 1 day. I wrote it down, signed it, prayed about it to God. This time I made it to 20 days. I will fast for 3 days... My brain didn't believe I'm actually gonna fast again, but I will... I want to sent a very strong message to my brain that relapses are not ok. I can very well understand if that sounds too extrem to some of you, but I think that is what I need atm: To be very, very strict with myself.
This "technique" has served me well in other areas: I started getting up at 5 am every day for quite a while. If I get up too late, I will not eat that day - Since I made that promise to myself, I always get up on time. I've tried to make that a habit for years and always failed - this method works great.

Sorry for the long text: Maybe I am a bit too radical, but my intention is good.

 

Lost the way after 100 days streak...Here to complete a mission now.

Glad to be back

Good to you you still fighting the Good fight