[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Check-in day 121 of 365

 

20 days

 

i relapsed ,i need to reset my counter.
0 days

i learnt another thing which caused me to relapse. i have one more experience but i should be aware that my life time is limited and use the knowledge and experience wisely and in a best way.
the story of my relapsing was like this:
the thoughts about my ex-girlfriend came into my mind ,it was in the middle of my reading,unfortunately the amount of stress is high because i have an entrance university exam the day after tomorrow that is life changing,and some craving about checking my penis's hardness penetrated into my mind(it is a mental trick i guess) and i started to read in a way that i was lied on my abdomen then my penis aroused(because in the past i experienced arousing in this position and doing fmo), the amount of released sexual hormones(the addictive and wrong one) was high and it fogged my brain and dimmed my long term visions, then i just wanted to my penis strength to be checked (i think when addictive sexual hormones release, one forget rules that should be obeyed )then i touched it ..and i think i relapsed because i came ,then ..i tempted to test again and for a second time i masterbated.
but i didn't watch any porn or intentionally fantasize , i think the amount of stress was high. i know it was wrong and i made a mistake. but i have come a long journey to reach to this point that i don't watch porn and my inclination toward porn have diminished. it took me two years for me to reach to this level.once i was thinking about suicide or i was thinking about fingering myself because porn make one ill and take individual's control over their thought and body and it also change one's attitude toward world by addicting their body to the hormones that is released just by watching or fantasizing and changing the reward circuit structure and then by doing so one's body reach to the point that it is not able to focus on things that is happening around him any more because body needs those addictive hormones and makes the thought of one's mind to seek sexual one's in any situation which is depend on the intensity of addiction to them and ones body is not free.
hopefully iv'e learnt to not to be hard on myself and don't blame myself and instead i forgive myself immediately and learn from the mistakes and don't repeat it anymore, now i am trying to figure out what was the problem and learn from them.
,and forgive me guys
i think i should reset ,my counter.
i try to learn from every mistake that i do.
my lesson is :
1-don't fantasize bout the porn or past sexual relationships because it contributes to releasing addictive wrong hormones ,or in another word there is no difference between big mistake like watching porn with small one like fantasizing about touching or minor things. mistakes start from small ones. the wrong deed is wrong and there is no difference between small one with big ones.
2-don't touch ,test or play with your penis at all in this 90 or 360 days ,it is a mind trick arises from the addicted part of the brain especially in this period to your brain heal

i hope this confession help others to not do my mistake.
any suggestion or recommendation would be appreciated my friends from the bottom of my heart.

 

103 days Today towards 365 have a 275 day absence contract to me first on December 22 and will see where we’re going from there God chooses and she decide

 

Can you tell me you were in a 301 days without porn and masturbation or an orgasm in any sexual types that’s amazing what’s the secret?

 

Day 3/365

 

Did it feel like a relapse by any chance? How are you actually feeling about it

 

Day 4/365

 

Day 1/365.

 

Day 3/365

 

Very inspiring post as always Dr. Jekyll =) God willing, it WILL happen!

 

Day 10/365



The antidote for our selfishness and greed is the performance of acts of generosity and mercy to others.

 

Keep showing up, and you and I will be closer to the destination!

Our times of struggle are part of the purification process.

 

Back to day 0, but still no porn for over a week.

 

Day 10. Double digits now While I'm not as depressed as yesterday, at the end of the day the pressure of the days work along with an unexpected change to my routine suddenly drained my energy.
This is a sign that my mood is temperamental.

A gym session should hopefully get my mind focussed again.

 

I have been trying to get back on track and thankfully made it to 2 weeks mark..
So I'm back and taking this challenge again for my better future.
Today is Day 1.

@2525 , again thank you for this challenge brother.

 

Day 2

It always feels good in the long run to listen to ones heart when it comes to things of pure...The mind has many tricks, when in doubt listen to your heart. It knows the way

 

Day 10. My thoughts of P are coming to the front of my mind with increasing frequency tonight.

I recall this clever cartoon strip that said, (paraphrasing) quitting an addiction is like holding your breath under water, to fail is to gasp for air on the surface when you can't stay under any longer.

To succeed one must learn not to simply hold ones breath but to open your lungs and learn to breath the water. At first it will feel like drowning but once you adapt, the struggle will become more like second nature.

Hopefully I can adapt to my new environment and not go back to what was familiar.

 

0

 

Just keep moving forward and continue fine-tuning your practice of the art of living.

Working hard for what we love = passion

I can totally relate with your experience - often my own downward spirals into this unwanted behavior are marked by thoughts about ex-girlfriends as well as lapses in judgement about "soft" images. I have to remind myself that these thoughts are not my friends, they're not innocuous or safe. They're the song of Sirens:

No seaman ever sailed his black ship past this spot without listening to the honey-sweet tones that flow from our lips and no one who has listened has not been delighted and gone on his way a wiser man. (The Sirens, Odyssey 12:186-190)​

But the reason why is that no man had listened to them and survived the disaster that was sure to follow!

The Sirens bewitch everybody who approaches them. There is no homecoming for the man who draws near them unawares...For with their high clear song the Sirens bewitch him, as they sit there in a meadow piled high with the mouldering skeletons of men, whose withered skin still hangs upon their bones. (The advice of Circe, Odyssey, 12:39-47)​

The only way the Sirens could die is if a mortal could resist their seduction.

These myths have a lot of truth to them, and they open the gate to our own latent heroism.

You probably know this, but it may bear repeating that research has been finding that exercise helps to re-shape the dopamine pathways and and greatly helps recovery. Here is a recent brief article on it:
http://www.buffalo.edu/news/releases/2018/05/037.html
Hopefully, when we remind ourselves of all the benefits, it keeps us going!

I hope that you achieve even more than expected on your exam! This is an exciting time to be alive, in my humble but correct opinion, ha ha!