Baby Steps

Personally I don't fully agree with those baby steps like first, one week, then two weeks.

Of course they are MUCH better than frequently PMO'ing.

But I guess 90% of the people take these baby steps with some foggy ambiguity about what to do after each baby step.

Am I entitled to PMO as a reward (HUGE mistake) after one week of no-PMO?

How exactly am I going to reward myself after that week?

If the end result is a prolonged succession of little streaks, with no PMO reward in between, what's the difference with drastically stopping all PMO activity for months? Why don't I set that goal in the first place?

The answers to those questions are pretty unambiguous.

Therefore, and I know that's likely to get some stones thrown at me... why not take those baby steps in gradually decreasing the amount of PMO per day or week?

I.e. if now I PMO twice a day, let's keep that for this week, then next week I'll cut down to once a day.

Then the week after that, to just 6 times a week. Then 5 times a week and so on...

Those are true baby steps, because you're gradually quitting your habit.

The other way, unless you have a very clear way of positively rewarding yourself in between the baby steps without PMOing, it's just either a reframing of a drastic change to never PMO for a purpose I don't understand, or a just a plain lie to one self.

 

I think it's very important that you focus on the 'glass half full' perspective. It's far too easy to get discouraged when quitting PMO so you should do everything you can to maintain a positive outlook on the journey.

Sub-goals are a great idea in my opinion, they give you something to look forward to in the short-term. Plus, celebrating them can give you a huge boost to motivation and help maintain a positive attitude (see above - I just can't stress how big of a difference positive thoughts have made for me in my recovery).

Stay strong!

 

A random erotic picture as a trigger?
If I had a dollar for how many times that happened to me I might have more than $1,000.
I think most all of us can relate.

Refuse to allow self-pity to lead to pessimism.
We did not fall into this hole in one weekend. It will take time to pull ourselves out. If we accept that when we make a mistake we're more likely to learn from it rather than use it as a reason to lose hope.

 

I'm with you brother...stay strong and keep the faith!

 

I see your point. One guy a few weeks ago asked advice about doing a streak until this new years eve, then intentionally relapsing one more time before 2015. It's obviously a crap strategy.

However I think the reason people like to focus on small stretches is simple: it's akin to "taking it one day at a time", a phrase used by everyone. Doesn't mean we fap at the end of every day. It's the same as saying "taking it one week/month at a time."

 

I'm all about small steps, personally. One more hour, one more day. I celebrate every little accomplishment. I don't reward myself though, and definitely not with relapsing which would defeat the whole purpose. I just give myself a mental pat on the back for making it one more day, one more week, etc. That's my approach. It keeps me going.