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Quitting Porn, but Still Masturbating

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Lanius, Jul 2, 2018.

  1. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

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    Forgive me if this is the incorrect section to post a topic like this, but I have been curious if anyone else has considered this.
    Since coming to the hard realization that pornography has damaged my life, I have felt more drive to avoid problematic sexual habits than ever before. This has included quitting porn, which I have just started. Additionally I have been reconsidering what I used to accept as normal sexual habits.
    At first I decided that abstaining from masturbation completely was the solution, but as I looked back on the problems I had with porn addiction it seems less and less like the root of my problem.
    My issue wasn't the frequency at which I masturbated, but how I allowed porn to shape my attitudes and desires.
    So my question is, has anyone tried to reset their masturbation habits to a healthy degree without quitting entirely? I remember in high school, when I had a period of porn abstinence I masturbated without experiencing the problematic attitudes I have now. It didn't effect my interactions with women and felt reasonable. I want to return to this kind of mindset, as I don't think it's necessary to quit masturbating (or at least in my case)

    tl;dr Do you think you are capable of masturbating a healthy amount without porn? Has anyone been able to do this?
     
  2. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    reconsider it. m is also bad.
     
  3. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

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    Could you please elaborate on this? It's not helpful to just hear it's bad without reasons
     
  4. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    sorry 4 not providing reason . its good to hear from ur side u stopped on p. but just m is very slippery slop . m damages body a more than just watching p.
     
  5. How ?
     
  6. Okay, okay... I suggest you to stop masturbate for at least few months.

    You have already seen content probably weirder than naked woman for longer time. In consequence you have rewired your brain and put bad things into you head, so you remind these things, fantasies, scenes, situations while masturbating. Masturbating for you mean not erasing it from your mind. Even if you think your current fantasy is the new, fresh, unique one - it is probably some mix of shit you watched before.

    However, if you think you are not addicted and you will have no problems with abstaining from PMO for a few months, then you can return to masturbating from time to time AFTER REBOOT. It is your choice, but you need to be sure that you can stop (I don't believe if you don't do that for a few months) and that fapping is not the way you cope with stress or escape from life. But... you cannot heal from internet porn while thinking on it and masturbating to porn in your mind, which is just different carrier of porn.

    Good luck!
     
  7. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Personally, I've had no luck with masturbating during my reboot. I did my initial 90-day reboot from pornography only, and I allowed myself to masturbate during that time. Now, I'm doing a second reboot, this time without porn or masturbation.

    Your post really resonates with me overall, as I found myself in a similar position when I first started rebooting. I realized that masturbation wasn't the core of my sexual problems (I still realize that it isn't). I don't think masturbation is bad for you, and I don't think it's inherently unhealthy. However, I realized that there's still a lot of shame and guilt surrounding masturbation for me, and that to a certain degree I was doing it more out of compulsion or necessity than I was out of enjoyment of the physical pleasure I get from it.

    Ultimately, I discovered that abstinence from masturbation for 90 days was the right way for me to go. Maybe after 90 days I'll realize that I never want to do it again. Maybe not. I won't know until I get there, and I'm only about 30 days in so far. I can't recommend masturbating during a reboot. I think it will make things more complicated for you. However, it's your recovery and there are ultimately no right or wrong answers.
     
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  8. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    This is so true, and it's one of the main reasons I decided to do a second reboot, this time without porn and without masturbation. I wanted to show myself that I am in control of my life, and that masturbation doesn't have a chokehold over me.
     
  9. @Ridley Sounds nice to me, good luck!
     
  10. JJackson

    JJackson Fapstronaut

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  11. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

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    You see masturbation has never really had a chokehold over me. If anything it was my addiction and use of porn that encouraged bad habits. So many other times I have been capable of masturbating and it was always more pleasant than with porn. Probably because I wasnt doing it put of blind lust. I also found that when I did stop watching porn for whatever reason, the frequency of masturbating decreased naturally and never escalated.
     
  12. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

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    Actually I was incredibly vanilla about my porn habits. I never let it get to the point where I sought more extreme stuff. So honestly if I was masturbating without porn Id probably be thinking about typical sex that I have already had. It really wouldnt be fueling anything but my standard sexual preferences. My problem with porn was that it made me devalue my relationship and actual sex.
     
  13. @Lanius I didn't mean any fetishes or really weird stuff, but most of the pornography show us unrealistic things, poses and behaviors. Even vanilla porn use a lot of such tricks. In consequence you devalued your actual sex. If the pornography is nothing different than real sex, than why do you want to watch it? Why do you think you will think about sex, not about pornography if you think pornography is better?
     
  14. I've been struggling with this for a while now too. I think masturbation should be avoided for the first 3 months, at least for most of us. When I would try to masturbate without porn it always led back to PMO. Always. I think we need to give our minds time to rewire and masturbation is a very very slippery slope. That's what caused me to relapse this morning and I was doing good. I was 6 days in, and even though that's not very impressive, it was pretty good for me.

    I'd recommend giving yourself a long break from masturbation, then after 3 months maybe give it a shot, but like I said, very very slippery slope. Good luck man.
     
  15. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    If you know it's not compulsive and you know it's not a problem for you, then it seems like you've got it figured out. You don't need our permission to do it. Like I said, it's your recovery and there's no right or wrong way to do it. However, this conversation suggests to me that you're doubting yourself about it a little. It almost looks like you're trying to justify doing it. Why would you need to unless you had some sort of problem with it?
     
  16. Lanius

    Lanius Fapstronaut

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    Fair enough, this thread has given me a lot to consider. I haven't broken my streak, granted Im not very far in, but I will be doing a lot more reading on this.
     
  17. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

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    Here's one of the better articles about the psychological effects of masturbation compared to other sex acts. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/16095799/
     
  18. Warrior36

    Warrior36 Fapstronaut

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    In my own opinion, if you are about to relapse to P otherwise but can manage not to by masturbating without imagining P, its a better choice of the two. Also masturbating by imagining real sex is ok if you do it when you feel heavy sexual frustration, not when you're just bored. In a perfect situation, you would only be having sex I think.
     

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