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Trying Again

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Zapataro take2, Jun 29, 2018.

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  1. Zapataro take2

    Zapataro take2 Fapstronaut

    This has been a battle since before I was a teenager. Over the years I have delt with many addictions, alcohol, drugs, etc., and I've beat all of them. This summer will mark nine years of sobriety from drugs, alcohol and sex.

    While I am proud of this accomplishment it feels empty under the cloud of my porn addiction. I am so tired. Tired of the shame. Tired of the guilt. Tired of the loneliness.

    I joined Nofap a few years ago but gave up. I'm ready to try again.

    I am now looking for a support group here to join. One with Jehovah's Witnesses would be nice but not absolutely necessary. I am open to all advice.
     
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  2. KS1994

    KS1994 Fapstronaut

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    You have taken alot of things out of your life, but I get the impression you haven't replaced them with anything constructive. I hope you find what you are looking for. Good luck.
     
    Zapataro take2 likes this.
  3. ChaosDestiny

    ChaosDestiny New Fapstronaut

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    Hey! I have known about NoFap several months ago too! But a lack of commitment has kept me stuck at a bottleneck. It is great to know that you are tired of it. Now that you are aware, it is time to do something about it!
     
  4. Hi. Welcome to forum!

    Make sure you create a personal journal thread in Reboot Logs section and blog there on a regular basis. As well as just generally be active participant in various forum discussions. I recommend this to everybody new here because it's the major thing that helped me when I was first starting. Just lurking on forums, reading and learning is great. But it usually is so much more powerful to engage. It helps to keep us motivated and accountable when we are active part of community. And keeps this in front of our minds so we don't forget about importance of it and slip away in our old habits. Sharing is also therapeutic. This is a major reason why AA meetings work so good. But that was developed before internet era. These days we can get most of the same benefits online through communities like this. So don't underestimate the power of active participation.

    I would also like to suggest you to look into mindfulness meditation. It has helped me personally tremendously to learn how to deal with urges and triggers. It takes a while to get good at it and notice results, so you need to be consistent with it, but once you do it's very powerful. It has been used by sages for thousands of years to deal with various issues of the mind. And in recent decades the science is also catching up to what ancient sages have know for centuries. Meditation these days are widely used as very effective tool by psychologists for treating addiction and by neurologists for supporting recovery of the brain after physical injury. Plus it is generally a great exercise for the brain the same way as jogging is great exercise for the body.

    You gotta make sure it is proper mindfulness meditation though. "Mindfulness" meditation where we just focus on breath is more like a concentration meditation instead. It works too but differently and not as powerfully in my experience. Real mindfulness meditation however trains you to accept your urges by understanding the nature of them by observing them, not just suppress them by concentrating on something else instead. It makes you comfortable with them. And once you accept and become comfortable with them there is no need to get rid of them, so there is no need to PMO. Only reason why we PMO is because that urge, that itch in our crotch is uncomfortable, we wanna get rid of it. And then after PMO we have our release. Or we simply want pleasure. And inability to have that pleasure makes us uncomfortable. But if we accept that we can not have pleasure then resistance is gone and there is no reason to PMO.

    Acceptance and mindfulness is the key. Check out this Ted talk on acceptance and mindfulness practice, it gives a good idea of what's it's about when it comes to philosophy. The mindfulness practice as described by psychologist in a the video can be used by itself but ideally should be used as supplementation to your daily sitting meditation. Sitting meditation I personally practice and recommend to people is as explained by meditation expert in this YouTube playlist. If you don't like the monk or want other method there is this awesome smartphone app called Headspace for guided meditations.

    Wish you lot's of strength and success in your reboot journey!
     
    Zapataro take2 likes this.
  5. Zapataro take2

    Zapataro take2 Fapstronaut

  6. Miked132

    Miked132 Fapstronaut

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    Hello Zapataro take2, I’ve been struggling for a while myself, this is the only thing keeping me from realizing my full potential as a servant of Jehovah, it’s a hard thing to deal with the urges but it’s well worth it to fight
     
    Zapataro take2 likes this.
  7. Zapataro take2

    Zapataro take2 Fapstronaut

    Thanks Mike. I look forward to getting to know you and being mutually beneficial!
     
  8. CLAW66

    CLAW66 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    We are both on day 17. Keep up the good work.
     
    Miked132 likes this.
  9. Miked132

    Miked132 Fapstronaut

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    You too claw59, like they say, whatever don’t kill ya, makes you stronger
     

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