Wife Discovered My Darkest Secret Yesterday

Or it's absolutely nothing. If there was something in my past associated with every fetish I ever went through, I'd be the Most Interesting Man in the Word - to therapists. Seriously, I bet I've spent time on almost every porn sub-genre (minus gay/trans). Some have stuck, others have faded.

It certainly never hurts to examine the fetish and see if there is something unresolved, but I'd be interested to see someone do research on people like me to see what percentage of my viewing tastes are directly related to something in my past. For me personally, I'm sure it's WELL below 5%.

 

I think we are on the same page to suggest that whatever comes up in your sexual appetite is certainly worth investigating for a potential deeper meaning.

 

I scored 6. What do you think Im on my PMO. I had problem with my sex life. Cant O when sex with girl

 

will do. Thanks god i found this community. Full of good friends

 

My husband scored 11 is that bad

 

Just my own opinion:
As a recovering PA, I would suggest you consider changing the label you put on it. Labeling it “bad” could put a negative connotation on the whole process. Instead consider it “severe” or “deeply rooted”.

My addiction was very severe, I scored in the high teens on the test. But I wouldn’t call it bad, just severe.

I’m a firm believer in using appropriate “self-talk” to impact my emotional state and self-improvement. For me... “I have it bad” quickly turns to “I’m bad because...” which turns to “I want to escape” which leads to PMO(or other addictions). However, “my case is severe” turns to “I need to be mindful of my condition” which turns to “I want to get well” which becomes “I can do this” and “it’s okay to seek help”. It became a lot easier to seek help once I removed the “bad” label from my own self-identification.

(PS. I know you said it’s about your husband, but I share because my SO adopted this mentality with me and it made a big improvement in my recovery)

 

Thanks for your view but it didn't answer my question. And should we be doing different things based on score.

 

Thanks for the support ghost writer

 

As always @GhostWriter, I appreciate your perspective. Thanks for the clarification on severe. I always just understood it to mean intense.

 

Trauma Egg?

 

Your husband scores an 11. Most addicts score above a 6. So this shows that he definitely has issues. Is he seeing a CSAT? Going to 12 step? Have accountability software?

 

He has accountability software and uses NoFap but we live in the UK the other stuff is not as accessible to us.

 

There are no 12 step or therapists in the uk?

 

There is but the nearest is.like hour half drive away so not really suitable

 

There are many online therapists and support groups. If you are interested I can provide you with more info.