Adult with emotional/physical attraction to younger girls

Is volunteering at these events necessary? Try to limit contact with them. Don't talk to them. Control your thoughts, don't dwell or fantasize. You can't stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can stop it from making a nest.

 

I wear a rubber band (a similar elastic band or bracelet works too) on my wrist and lightly snap it whenever I start fantasizing. It works very well for me. It helps me stop before I indulge in the fantasy. Try it out and see if it works for you.

 

Think of something positive, something else. Willpower and self discipline are really the only ways to stop fantasizing.

 

Your brain might be telling you: "It's wrong! What the fuck are you doing?" But your eyes say: "I REALLY wanna pound the shit outta that!" It's normal. I feel the same way some time. Hell, my dad is 50 and pretty conservative. But he notices them when they walk by. Be cool around them. Treat them like you would treat any beautiful woman. Because if you don't you end up being that disingenuous guy that's being some phony actor instead of being yourself.

You're not trying to pick them up. But it's like if there's an elephant in the room and you're talking normally as if everything were the same old same old. Notice that when you're with a young girl who isn't all that attractive you don't get these guilt trips. This is because your eyes can't tell this is a 16-17 year old. All they see is a young, smoking hot chick with cleavage and a precocious purity about her.

 

What are you trying to advise Death Mettle? I think you should definitely be a phony actor if you are around UNDERAGE girls that you feel attracted to.

 

I disagree with death metal, it may be common for guys to check out girls regardless of age, but it's not healthy. I'm not judging man, I'm just saying you are right to be concerned.

I'm on day 38 of hard mode - the only thing that had helped is not allowing any type of fantasy. You may not be able to stop from noticing a pretty girl, but do not allow your mind to go further. I use a 3 second rule, I have 3 seconds to eject the thought once It pops into my head, if I dont, I consider it a relapse.

I struggled with issues like this and worse, but have been free of it for almost 40 days, and it's really freeing. It has to be stopped before the thought can gain traction. 3 seconds or less.

 

Yeah, I work with teenagers, and some of them are gorgeous and if I'm honest have sexy bodies. But I do not let myself fantasize about that. If I start to check them out, I stop myself. I won't go there. There's nothing good that can result from that. For me, it's off limits. You just have to make the choice not to do that. And make the choice over and over and over again. Eventually it becomes a habit, it becomes easier, but you have to make the choice.

We're not animals that have no control over ourselves. Noticing an attractive woman may be instinctive and you may have no control over that initial noticing, but it is in your power not to stare, not to continue checking them out, not to fantasize, etc.

 

I AM NOT condoning trying to smash 17-year olds. I'm just saying be up front with it. Don't internalize it. They'll figure it out in the long-run anyway when you're unable to have a conversation with them because you're afraid you might accidentally RAPE them!

 

"Accidentally RAPE them"! That doesn't even make sense and is a crass thing to say Progressive Death Mettle.

 

There is no issue as long as the teenagers are not below the age of consent.

 

Yeah man, you're not alone. We're all in this together.

 

That's not a cool thing to say.

~Squeaky Soul