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Massive urge

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DonkeyKong22, Dec 8, 2014.

  1. DonkeyKong22

    DonkeyKong22 Fapstronaut

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    Day 119.. I have chosen to break my twice a week update today.
    My mind is all over . This afternoon I had pretty much convinced myself to go home and go straight on an old favourite cam site.
    I bumped into a girl yesterday that I went to school with and she had a bit of a rep for being a bit kinky, and I also saw a woman in a bikini on tv last night. I didn't realise either of these had affected me but there the only things I can think have acted as a trigger. Something has played with my mind.
    I am feeling desperate to go on porn. Almost excited at the thought of it.
    All the silly thoughts are back, "15 mins won't harm", "relapses to day and aim to beat my record starting tomorrow".
    I thing it's the fact that I used to be a sucker for homemade porn and maybe some crazy link with seeing this girl. I don't Know. Don't get me wrong I didn't feel the need to sleep with this lass but something has linked me to porn.
    I feel guilty towards my wife that this lady could be a trigger but I don't think I should be two hard on my self as i'm only human, it's just down to me not to react to it. (this may not even be he trigger as I saw her yesterday and the urges didn't come on till lunch), but something is.
    I'm am really struggling to fight the urge to type the porn site into the address bar right now.
    I feel exactly like I used to when I would browse online persuading myself I was searching for something, butt really being fully aware I was going to relapse.
    I don't think it's helped that iv'e been doing a job today that when I was really addicted I ended up pmoing at work , (I know this is terrible) but that's how bad it got. And iv'e been on my own all day so the thought has been rolling in my mind.
    Really tempted
    DK22
     
  2. JensDK42

    JensDK42 Guest

    "Everything in life is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power" -Frank Underwood, House of Cards

    Remain in power over your urges!
     
  3. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

    2,176
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    Don't give in now DonkeyKong! You're 120 days in now, that's a fantastic achievement! But you have to keep going! Think of all the benefits you have acquired from abstaining, and all the benefits you can continue to carry through your life. You have the power to decide how you live your life! I hope you can make the right choice.

    Get away from the computer. Put your favourite CD on. Go and spend some quality time with your wife. Go and live in real life, and the urge will slowly dissolve. Urges don't last forever, and after you outlast it, you'll feel greatly relieved I'm sure. :)
     
  4. DonkeyKong22

    DonkeyKong22 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks you two. Went to the local gym and booked into a crazy fitness class. It killed me and cured me. Cheers bros.
     
  5. Sir_Faps_a_not

    Sir_Faps_a_not Fapstronaut

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