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Does the women's thread cause segregation from help?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by will.nofap, Dec 9, 2014.

Should men and women have different threads?

  1. No. I believe I am missing the opposite sex's opinions (I am a woman)

    6 vote(s)
    19.4%
  2. No. I believe I am missing the opposite sex's opinions (I am a man)

    13 vote(s)
    41.9%
  3. Yes.( I am a man)

    12 vote(s)
    38.7%
  4. Yes.( I am a woman)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. will.nofap

    will.nofap Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    I noticed that on this wonderful site there is a women's section under the journals. I wonder if because of that, men are less often helping women out, and vice versa. Shouldn't we just have different age groups? I think opposite sexes participating in eachother's nofap challenges would be helpful. Perhaps we are depriving ourselves of some good advice?

    Is there defacto segregation happening?

    Will

    p.s: Site admins chime in if you will.
     
  2. Anon6918

    Anon6918 Fapstronaut

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    Not sure. And I say this as an out and out feminist. I'm NoFap (oh yeah, that's now a word) to kind of sidestep the patriarchy/feelings of masculine inadequacy contradiction, and to stop viewing women largely as sexual objects. How comfortable women would be to watch me posting about that process, I don't know. I guess a woman's objectives in NoFap are different as well. Would want to hear women's views before I cam to any firm opinion.
     
  3. Strugglesaurus

    Strugglesaurus Fapstronaut

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    Women and men both have access to each other's separate sub forums, so anything you post in your age group, Anon, they will read. Any advice is helpful, whether it comes from a girl or guy, no matter what the hell you're posting about. Different viewpoints are invaluable in life. I'm positive most women on here don't confine themselves to the less-trafficked Women's forum. I'm not sure if the admins meant for women to post only in that forum, anyway. I think it's for those who wish to discuss the slight differences in nofap's benefits. If the age journals were blatantly meant for men, I think they would be labeled as such. Or, maybe because nofap is largely something men have decided to partake in, the default sub forums are for men, and the minority of women on this site get a separate area to discuss and post their journals.


    Not too sure. Frankly, I don't give a damn who posts where. Some guy could go start his journal in the women's section and I could go on with my life. I had actually thought of this before, considering I'm a woman, but I decided to simply post in my age group because

    A) I would reach more readers and be better able to help them with my experiences, because really the only difference in women and men with NoFap is physical (genitalia) and I believe the mental aspect is much more profound

    B) I would get a larger pool of advice, and my journal is much more visible to a majority of Nofap members

    My two cents.
     
  4. Thank you for the feedback, and I am interested in seeing the results of your poll and reading what other Fapstronauts have to say.

    The reason there are separate journal sections isn't to encourage separation, it is to make it easier for users who identify as women to find information directly applicable to them (although I agree that many things are applicable regardless of sex/gender). There are less members (notice the total # of journals) so if they were in the regular sections, they would be difficult to spot.

    I think that this is important because the subject of women being addicted to porn is unheard of to many people, so I wanted to make it as easy as possible for women to find information so that they don't feel alone, have an easier time reading stories similar to theirs, have an easier time finding same-gender support, etc. But of course they are welcome to post in either the female section or the appropriate age range section based on preference. Yes, ladies can get addicted to porn too. Porn addiction / excessive PMO is not only a male problem - it can strike anybody!

    I think I agree that it would be best to separate by age only, but I think perhaps a tagging system should be used to make it easier to search for journals that follow a particular age range, gender, etc. What are your thoughts on this? Basically when you submit a journal it would prompt you to insert your age and your gender, should you choose to disclose such information. Then it would display these variables in a different color in front of your thread, and it would be searchable via forum search.
     
  5. ds112358

    ds112358 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think this causes 'segregation' in any way. Women still have full access to men's threads and vice versa. There are also a lot of topics that both men and women can post under the same categories. I feel that it is helpful to the women on these forums to have a separate section where they can view threads on similar thoughts and experiences. As the members on this site are largely male, perhaps it is right that there is a gender-specific section where women can share experiences and not feel judged.
     
  6. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Yes, I totally agree with ds112358 on this one. It is fine just the way it is with everyone catered for.
     
  7. theferryyman

    theferryyman Fapstronaut

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    I personally think that as the big issue we're all facing is P, regardless of gender, the overall problem is the same. M&O have the same basic result to both sexes in terms of the dopamine release, and I've always found girls to be often more enlightening then guys when it comes to certain topics. P addiction is gender neutral, so I think the forums should be co-ed as it were
     
  8. nofaponemoretime

    nofaponemoretime Fapstronaut

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    I think that because there are fewer women with porn addiction, a womens-only format might lack robust participation and discussion. Kind of like how the NoFapFemales subreddit is a little slow getting off the ground. To that extent, men's participation in the women's forum is helpful, I think.

    I've repeatedly heard men say that it is often easier to discuss their emotional lives with women because there is less fear that they will be judged harshly for not being manly enough. Women often have more experience thinking about feelings, and can help men to process theirs more effectively.

    I also understand that for some straight men, reading about womens' PMO habits is triggering. I know that it is sometime triggering for me to read about mens' habits. Still, I've gotten to a point where I think that is okay because I'll never be able to escape every trigger out there, and I'm confident that it won't lead me to fap.

    Also, the male/female division feels a little heteronormative. Although I am your garden-variety straight girl, I do experience strong desire for particular women. I've read that not especially uncommon. So, the idea that the genders must be separated may be of limited usefulness to straight people, and nearly useless to queer folks.

    I think the current format works okay, though I might suggest an option to limit feedback by gender, so that users have the option to create their own gendered space. I think that can be important for women who don't feel safe when creepy men try to engage them.
     
  9. cleanmindhappymind

    cleanmindhappymind Fapstronaut

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    I keep my journal in the under 20 cuz I know it will get a lot of traffic (more feedback, support) and I don't have an issue with men reading my story. In most ways I resonate with male struggles and it works fine. I browse the womens section section occasionally or if i'm thinking about something gender specific.
     

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