Denial or transmutation? How can you know?

You're not denying you are a man who is interested in women. You are denying lustful, self-gratifying masturbation. There is a huge difference. This has nothing to do with your sexuality. Masturbation is masturbation. If you cannot look or interact with a girl without having sexual thoughts or intentions, you need to seriously reevaluate.

 

I agree with beauty. Masturbating will not help you transmute sexual energy. By masturbating you are reinforcing neural pathways associated with selfishness and self gratification, as well as spilling your seed during orgasm.

I recommend denying yourself all sexual excitement (including natural sexual excitement) for at least 60 days. After that it's more likely you will be able to form more natural connections with people. In this way, you're not denying yourself your sexuality, you're just putting it off as to give your brain time to reboot. (All sexual excitement would include fantasising and browsing erotic photos as mentioned in your counters).

By the way, although I said 60 days, 90 days is the recommended reboot time, however you may find yourself more able to start having natural connections with people after about 60. This may take longer though.

A wise fapstronaut once said "For good results quit porn, for great results quit masturbation, but for excellent results quit both"

 

I don't think I'm denying it. I'm aware of it, but once I'm aware of it I have a choice as to how to behave. I can indulge in or act on the fantasy, or I can turn my attention to something else. That's what I'm doing over and over again throughout the day. A sexual thought or desire arises, I notice it, I choose to put my attention on something else. I see denial as something else.

 

Yes, it may seem like a surprise to you, but I can. Porn has warped my mind in more ways than one, and one of the side-effects was the objectification of girls. I used to be notoriously bad for visualizing and fantasizing about girls while they were in front of me talking. It's getting better, and I can honestly say that I can truly have a conversation now without sexual interest. Of course I have days where my porn riddled brain still pulls me back to my old ways of objectification and fantasy, but it's a working progress.

The sole fact that you think a guy cannot have a conversation with a girl without sexual interest speaks volumes. I think you should seriously reevaluate.

 

+1 to this post direct problem solving is a healthy coping mechanism that is beneficial to engage in once you stop coping via PMO. I am curious though FreedomFlight on what your opinion if is you are to refrain from all coping mechanism entirely including healthy and unhealthy. What would be the resultant affect after urges had passed?