I know you all have heard it 100 times, but did I relapse?

Learn from it Reece. I just made 40 days and relapsed. Longest streak ever. I kept my fleshlight around, thinking "just in case." Big mistake. From what I've been reading, the flatline is something to be appreciated. Take advantage of it and work on other parts of your life. I think all of us here have other issues to work on. I did come out of flatline and it caught me way off guard. So I have to work through that this time. At least I know what it is this time. You have to see it for what it is. Something clicked with me about the whole dopamine response thing. We have found something that temporarily relieves our pain. Our fix. It strikes real fear in our hearts to give this up. Facing our fears and overcoming them gets us back to where we should be. Being ourselves before we knew about fear. This thing is like a Band-Aid. It's better to rip it off fast. Don't play with it. This is a effing monster, but you can kill it, bro.

 

Yeah, I think we're all addicts here. I mean that's why we're here, right? We haven't been able to control it, whether it's masturbation, porn, erotic stories, mental fantasizing, or whatever. For me, admitting to myself that it's an addiction and talking about it as an addiction has been essential.

I would advise not looking at porn ever again at all. Not for any reason. Block adult websites, delete your stash. Throw away the fleshlight, get rid of all this stuff. It's like an alcoholic keeping his fridge stocked with beer. Wish you the best, man!

 

"I like porn from time to time, I'm in complete control." Spoken like a true porn addict. This is a textbook example of what we're escaping from.

 

Or maybe he actually is in control of it? Honestly, those people exist as well.

 

Your relationship to porn sounds metaphorically and even more literally like my relationship to soda drink. Once upon a time I swore of all soda, refused to have any at all. Eventually it was no longer an issue for me and now I'm in complete control. I like soda from time to time. It's very sweet like candy but too much of it is bad so I have it on occasion.

Chocolate on the other hand...

 

You may have cultivated a strong self control and self discipline over many months. However physically- you're still addicted. Why do I think this? I've picked out specific examples from your post which indicate a physical addiction.

It's textbook addiction. Even if you are abstaining for reasonably long periods- if you are still lapsing every so often you will remain addicted. Looking at porn, masturbating, reading erotica, going to chat rooms, fantasising and even having sex can feed your addiction. By the sounds of it, you have significantly reduced the scope of your symptoms, but these occasional temptations are the remnant of the addiction you once had. However continuing to indulge in such acts means you have never fully recovered from your addiction.

Beware that you are never in complete control over porn. If you are watching it in the first place- then it has some control over you.

My advice is COMPLETE sexual abstinence for 90 days. Ninety days is the recommended reboot period, however it varies from person to person. Complete sexual abstinence means- no porn, no masturbation, no chat rooms, no erotica, no strip clubs or bikini bars, no fantasising and no sex.

After about 90 days, review your situation to see if you've rebooted. After a full reboot you could go back to having sex. It sounds crucial that you kick your physical addiction once and for all. Abstaining for sex may suck for you at the present time, but it significantly speeds up your brain's rewiring process to recover faster. I am guessing that 3 months is a relatively short period in your life compared to all the months you could have fulfilling sex in after that.

 

Thank you. 46 days ago I PMO'd once. The streak immediately before that was 124 days. So, I have PMO'd once in 170 days hard mode with no sex (just 10 days shot of 6 months).

You said in your earlier post, "I find myself in chat rooms looking to talk dirty, or reading naughty stories. Did I just replace the images and videos with something else? Note, most of the time right now, porn does not give me erections just by looking at it."

Well, to answer your question: yes, you have replaced pornographic images and videos with pornographic writing and communication. This nullifies your claim re: porn "I completely cut it out of my life. So it's not necessarily an addiction to me."