Hello everyone

Hi, I'm 24 years old; and I've decided to quit masturbation and pornography. I'm a university student and I've lost one year and half because of my bad, time and energy (both physical and mental) consuming habit. My mother is a widow and is doing two shitty jobs to allow me to go to university and I feel like a worthless asshole by wasting time doing useless and degrading thing. Despite masturbation taking only a few minutes I found that the main problem for me is the after; is feeling down, worthless and useless. Yesterday I decided that I'm not going to take a university test since I'm not ready. I consider myself a smart person, I'm studying theoretical physics and I understand it quite effortlessly. My main problem is studying and effort. Despite being smart and having a few good ideas to make a few bucks so as to allow my mother to drop her job and live the life that she dreams of I'm stuck in this loophole of uselessness, depression (I struggle with it since I was a kid) and guilt. I also have a girlfriend (a really good looking one) with whom I don't like having sex because I want more "extreme and exotic" thing.
No more, I'm the captain of my ship and the master of my fate. I don't want this anymore, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm quitting altogether masturbation and wasting time, this is the first day of my journey. I made a sheet, each day is divided in half an hour section (ex: 6:00-6:30; 6:30-7:00 etc.) and starting today I'll color each section in green if I studied and didn't waste time; blue for stuff like walking the dog, going to the gym etc. and red if I screw it all up. The goal is to have all green and blue from now on.
Thank you all.

 

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