Same Sex Attraction

This! I can relate to! I used to identify as a lesbian when I couldn't stop sleeping with all of my friends. I feel like I was just running away from buried trauma or actually facing my life. Also, my homosexual feelings came from being raped at a young age. I do not know you but maybe you could have repressed trauma? Also, the grass is always greener on the other side, I thought that my life would improve if I was a lesbian and I was running away from being a decent partner. I even started identifying as ''polyamorous'' For me it was all a way to escape responsibility and get a high from doing things that were not good for me. You're not alone but we all have our different reasons.

 

We can carry this burden until it’s lifted.

 

There are so many guys that struggle with this issue. Years long battle for me. Early on I was hooked on gay chat rooms. Loved chatting. I stopped that and started watching gay porn for years. Got severe PIED so stopped porn and my dick is coming back to life.

 

Yea we do things that later disgust us.

 

Yes out of control. Chatting is exciting. But then you need more. So you watch porn. Then that’s not enough so.....

 

I am so very sorry to hear that you were raped, that is just awful, I hope you are okay!
My seedy perversions seem so wrong in comparison. Do you think you would be straight without homosexual tendencies had you not been raped?
Thank you for sharing

Ray

 

I believe porn is a factor in this as the male porn stars are usually hung. Anyway, you could be a sexaholic as well. If so then a great resource that can be helpful is to contact Sexaholics Anonymous, Ireland.

 

The thing is I am not even bothered in trying to have sex with my wife, it feels like too much hassle so I am not sure that a sexaholic would behave like that.
The idea of a group meeting that that makes me smile, them all dying to bone each other and a car-park of steamy car windows afterwards. I'm sure its no laughing matter for some people though!

 

I have been to a meeting kind of like that and not all the guys were same-sex attracted and some were still and had wives. However, judging from your posts you certainly have signs of being a sexaholic. It does not matter if you not sexually attracted to your wife, however you fantasise and seek sex with guys and go to cruise areas to hook up with them.

How about doing some healthy activities of guys of the same sex like joining a men's sports group or something like that? It will keep your mind diverted away from the constant need to hook up with men. You also have children, how about spending more time with them and being more involved in their lives? If you have boys how about taking them out on a fishing trip?

 

You are definitely onto something with the healthy activities with other men. I missed out on this and I think it would have been beneficial to me and have given me a more healthy outlook. When I do spend healthy time with a group of men doing healthy activities it definitely helps me refocus and I don't feel urges then. I think I might take up cycling / mountain biking with other guys. I don't have the skills for football and at almost 40 am too young to learn.
This though has crossed my mind before so thank you for reminding me. I am heavily female dominated thorough my family, my in-laws and our social circle. I need more man time! Healthy man time that is!

 

I am late to this thread and forget how this goes. I am not sure if posting a past thread get's a follow-up but whatever...

I haven't been on this site for a while because my intense battle with PMO is not the battle is used to be. I checked in recently and have been reading some forum entries because life had changed for the better.

I posted on the success forum a couple of days ago. I was having a grateful morning and upon reflection as to why that might be, I looked up this site. I used to be on here daily.

I'm an Irish Catholic guy with four kids. I am you...but almost twenty years ahead. Two of my kids are in their twenties now.

I joined this site more than two years ago at a real crossroad in my life. I had become almost suicidal because I kept having anonymous sex with guys. How fucked up was I?

SSA had been a huge conflict in my life...huge. Loved my wife and kids but still. Was I just some freaking closet case who couldn't accept I was just gay? But I had this wife and family and I wasn't looking for some guy love affair...I just kept having compulsive sex with guys.

I don't anymore. I started here, worked really hard and did some major hard modes. I had relapses but I got through 90 days and then did another 90 days. (Sex with my wife was infrequent at this time in life...you go through phases and we were at a bad time. Divorce or separation was never an option.)

Figure out what works for you but hang in there. Get the PMO under control and everything else follows. Jerking off to gay porn was like throwing gas on embers and then a fire would explode. I thought getting rid of the urge to have sex with a guy would go away if I just jerked off. But that whole PMO thing just made it so much worse.

Just do it. Quit the PMO thing and everything changes. I swear, it was like a fucking miracle for me. It doesn't happen overnight but it happens. I haven't had sex with a man for more than two years and it's not because I developed some crazy intense self-control. It fades if you quit jerking off to gay porn. Who knew?

I am a very happy guy, happy marriage but I used to be one very conflicted dude filled with overwhelming shame. Shame and compulsion, day in and day out.

This site worked for me. Ultimately it's a private journey and we all are different. Irish Catholic guy with four kids...figure out what will make no PMO happen and the rest falls into place. Healthy interactions with other guys are good but the huge game changer is quitting the PMO thing. You're too old to take up football and guys cruise guys any way they can. Having good male friends helped me but didn't make the SSA disappear. Quitting the PMO thing was profound in how it smothered the SSA thing.

Regards and best of luck. I probably won't be hanging here for too long but hit me back if you need some support. Hang tough...

 

I’m in nofap for 1 month 10 days and I feel better now about myself then I have in a long time. I have M-ed twice (no visualization) and Oed with my wife twice but no porn. Thought I did not have sex with a man for decades and only with four guys in my youth. I was stuck on gay sucking and M videos. My big issue stemmed from the fact I was same sex abused for 6 years. I am very hopeful for the future and so glad to hear that the ghost beast may someday be quieted.
Thanks for posting. I too am an old married guy (45 years in August) with three adult children and 4 grands as well. I have much to live for.

 

Hey check firsttimentrial in this thread. His Irish as well but younger man with 4 kids. Maybe you could be of assistance to him in his journey.

 

Thank you Strength54 for that message of hope. I needed to hear your story this morning.

It’s going to be a good day. God is good.

 

Ideally I want to remove it from my life, it weighs me down and makes me feel unhappy. I know a lot of people might say this is not possible though!

 

Strength I am so so happy to read this post, I will message you directly now.

Cheers man