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Wanting a girlfriend, but having trouble.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Kirby, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. Kirby

    Kirby Fapstronaut

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    I haven’t tried getting a girlfriend at all. I fear my future girlfriend would cheat on me since I wouldn’t have enough sex with her.

    I’m hoping to find someone special on here who feels the same way. If I don’t, are there some dating sites for what I’m describing?
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
    Deleted Account and STAR DUST like this.
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Who is your future girlfriend? What is she like? How do you know what she will or won't do?

    You don't know because you haven't tried. You haven't taken action and actually experienced what will happen.

    Your assumptions paralyze you.
     
  3. Kirby

    Kirby Fapstronaut

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    The problem is most people want sex, even if they aren’t sexual on the first date or the first month of being in a relationship.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2018
  4. Curth

    Curth Fapstronaut

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    Are you looking for a girlfriend or a friends with benefits? because it sounds like you are describing the second one. I would recommend just talking and getting to know girls. There is a weird chemical shift in your brain when you start to grow close with someone else, it changes how you think of things and even yourself. Also don't just tell them everything, keep some things to yourself, keep them interested in getting to know you and it's less likely they will cheat.

    If you do decide that you really like one of these girls and decide to ask them out or end up using a site or app to find a girl, just be upfront about that not wanting to have sex part, and be prepared to explain as much of it as you feel comfortable explaining or even just letting them know that your not completely comfortable explaining it yet.
     
    The Pacific Life and FX-05 like this.
  5. Kirby

    Kirby Fapstronaut

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    I want a platonic relationship

    Thanks for the advice!
     
    Curth likes this.
  6. EricKungFooled

    EricKungFooled Fapstronaut

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    Why do you believe you won't be able to have enough sex with her? Being afraid to find a girlfriend because your afraid they will cheat is the wrong mindset. Whatever you focus on most in life will become your reality. So if you focus on these negative things then it may come true because women can sense insecurity from a mile away.
    Try focusing on the things you will be able to offer in a relationship for many women an emotional connection is much more important than a sexual one.
     
  7. Peiskos

    Peiskos Fapstronaut

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    I had this same fear before I got my first girlfriend, the fear that she’d dump me because when it came time to have sex I wouldn’t be able to perform.

    I suppose I got lucky when my now girlfriend of nearly 2 years told me she was a virgin in the early stages of our relationship, she wanted to take things slow which to most guys who don’t have any sexual disfunction would make them run, but to me it was music to my ears as it allowed me to quietly reboot while our sex life consisted of simply kissing and cuddling. I never even had to tell her about my problem because for the first year of our relationship we didn’t have sex. When we finally did I was entirely healed.

    My advice to you is to find a girl who is a virgin, a girl who wants to take things slowly. Even if you were 100% healed these are the kind of girls to go after anyways. Find a girl like this and focus on the simple things with her while cutting out all porn and masturbation. By simple things I mean holding hands, kissing, cuddling, talking etc

    There are many girls who want this in relationships. Or you can just tell a girl that you’re a virgin and that you want to take it slowly, if she doesn’t like that she isn’t worth it anyways.
     
  8. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    So you are basically afraid of getting cucked?
     
  9. Peiskos

    Peiskos Fapstronaut

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    Way to be helpful.
     
  10. The Pacific Life

    The Pacific Life Fapstronaut

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    There’s some really good advice here, I suggest you take it in. Don’t stress over finding a girlfriend been there done that and it’s not worth the hassle. Focus on fixing yourself and you’ll learn to start talking to girls a lot more. I’m still a Virgin and every so often that goes through my mind but all my friends especially the women say they wished they’d waited and they like that I want it to be something special with someone. Don’t throw away your V card to just anyone. You’ll recover from this addiction if you work at it!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. I wish I had the answer to this myself. I joined OkCupid and Tinder recently which was a huge mistake. I was thinking about joining ChristianMingle or something? Just know that there are some women that are abstinent and do not want sex until marriage If she can not respect the fact that you are nofap and don't want to engage in sex then she is not the one dude.
     
    The Pacific Life likes this.
  12. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    HI I JUST STARTED A THREAD FOR GUYS WHO WANT TO FIND LOVE. FEEL FREE TO USE AS MUCH AS YOU NEED
     
  13. Jack challoner

    Jack challoner Fapstronaut

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    Where ?
     
    STAR DUST likes this.
  14. STAR DUST

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

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    In the Daring section titled are you good with women
     
  15. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    here is you're problem:

    Wanting a girlfriend

    Woman can sence that shit that you are needy. How about seeking hobbies and enjoying you'rself and becoming more happy. this will cause you to become less needy.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.

  16. Get a girl with a normal sex drive then? Not normal in the porn industry but normal in the real world. And if you go to different places (countries/job places) there are different drives. But she would most likely be found in your ideal sector of work where you both can have monthly sex together
     
  17. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    Trust me woman won't cheat because you don't give them sex. they often get more aroused when you are not avialble every single time.. Its create a challenge.

    its usally when the man wants sex and becomes the nice guy wimp and seeks approval and the woman doesn't give him sex where she cheats
     
  18. Dr.Shilo

    Dr.Shilo Fapstronaut

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    Your fear of a cheating partner and never being able to satisfy her sexually is a side effect of pornography and sex addiction. There is a ton of infidelity portrayed in porn and it gives us a false sense of insecurity in relationships and this idea that she will cheat just like the women in the video.

    Another problem is projection. We often project ourselves onto others around us. Because we feel a constant urge to have sex or look at pornography, we assume that everybody else is the same way or has the same urges in the same intensity. Not all women are sex crazed. In fact most are not. They value emotional intimacy over physical stimulation. So stop worrying about finding an unfaithful woman. Go forward in your dating with faith in the person you are with. Dating and relationships is all about being vulnerable unfortunately. But vulnerability and a deep trust in the one you are with is the greatest expression of love. Don't let your insecurities ruin your relationship. Nothing turns a girl off faster than a guy who is constantly afraid she'll leave him and/or cheat on him...
     
    kingpietro and EricKungFooled like this.
  19. Jojo_mojo

    Jojo_mojo Fapstronaut

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    This goes the way for me to
     
  20. I say maybe join zoosk. I tried it a few times in the past and I met a few woman that I began talking to but nothing sat right. Unfortunately it costs a fortune just for one month, but if you have the money I'd say give it a go. Just continue the charousal game and keep liking girls your interested in and 1/5 is probably going to like you back from what I've found out at least and experienced.

    I'm in the same situation and the chances of me having a girlfriend soon are very slim because I work third and that's difficult I guess for a social life. Anyway I pray for that we both find somebody soon man. Keep fighting.
     

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