Trying to exit the train of sorrow

Well as you must already know, celibacy or chastity do not eliminate sorrow from human life.

I cried just today while visiting a cemetery after a military drill.

I cried hard upon the thought of being asked to kill other people. Possibly some good willed and disciplined men I'd respect deeply, who just lacked enough strong peers and tech to defeat us.

I want to try to go to a funeral at least once a week.

We in the west are too ignorant of death for our own good.

 

Hey Nu-Life2014,

you're in a very negative vibe. I understand why because I've felt the same when I've relapsed.

This f*ing addiction is serious and we have to get rid of it. What just happened to you is relatively normal, so reframe it as a minor roadblock from which you learn so it never happens again. Being angry or depressed is a higher consciousness level than not giving a crap.

But you seriously have to get out of the negative mood you're in.

I highly encourage you to watch the video (from start to end) in my signature.

I hope it helps.

 

If addiction has a million ways to hook you, you contain a billion different creative solutions within you, my friend.

If you're at a state where nothing works, and PMO is such a severe problem that there's appears to be no way out, I have a suggestion that has worked for me when in such a state. It is very counter intuitive, but it will work. Give it a shot.

Just give up. Completely surrender yourself to your current situation, and know that the universe will have its way with you, and that you're not in the driver's seat anymore. PMO is no longer your issue. It is simply a current of the universe, and you're simply seeing it happen.

So, now, you don't have to beat your PMO addiction. Imagine that. You no longer bear this huge cross of anything being wrong with you. You go ahead and do what you do each day. You don't try to change yourself. It's okay to be mentally and physically weak. It's all okay. You simply stop resisting your current state.

Now, right after your next PMO session, a sensation of shame and feeling depressed will follow. You won't feel like facing it, but you will be okay looking for a distraction. Your training now, is to simply focus on one thing you want to pursue and learn about that is non PMO related. A great movie will do. A game that you're interested in will do. Any little piece that simply helps you escape higher.

This is the key. The intense despair and shame that follow your PMO session hold great power in forming habits. When you're in that state, if, even for a short period, you can escape into something less detrimental than PMO, you'll start forming a new habit that will eventually lead you up, and return you to great strength.

So, the steps of this 'using your shame' method are:
Stop trying to fight PMO addiction
Right after your PMO session, you will feel intense shame and despair
It is difficult to face the shame just then, so find one mode of escape that is non PMO (example: a great action movie; a great NBA game; one of those crazy conspiracy theory documentaries)
Do this after each PMO session

As you continue to do this, your primary means of escape from shame and despair will be your non PMO route, if you do this for a few weeks only. Then you'll find it easier to escape into, since PMO itself is a means of escape from facing yourself.

These non PMO escape routes won't drain you as much, and you will start regaining your strength. Then you can take more massive action.

Remember, though, if you start to feel confident about your challenge at any point, you should absolutely exercise your will and do the highest, most inspiring thing that you want to. My suggestion above is only for those times when you're absolutely lost and without hope and strength.

PS: Didn't you have a different thread? I'd suggest sticking to posting in one primary thread of your own, so it's easier to track your posts. Just a thought.

 

stay strong man, I can strongly relate to what your going through
try to keep your head up and handle it bro - all the best