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The New Man's Next Step...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Lat, Dec 6, 2014.

  1. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    Fear, anxiety, depression often comes out of circumstance. After a while, they become pathological.
    PMO is the same and can be a symptom of these things.

    Obviously, it can just be a bad habit that comes becomes an addiction all on its own. When that happens it leads to other problems.

    Habits and Circumstances can take time to change and so healing takes time.
    Definitely, doing good things, is part of the process. But I've been thinking about doing something radical, like joining a cult and wearing orange robes... an knocking on people's doors to convert them and getting sex that way. (just kidding) - but doing something radical like skydiving, or bungy jumping... might be a new buzz that will help the whole neuro-plasticity thing.
     
  2. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    Only 7 days (and 3 hours) - feels a lot longer getting to this point this time around. Last few times I flew past 7, 10, 14 days no probs, then hit 20 days and relapsed.

    Maybe it's because I'm determined to get past 20 days that I'm counting every day and things are going so slowly... Anyway, 7 days, hard mode. Not feeling weak at all now, but yesterday and the a few days back, definitely felt weak. Actually, yesterday I looked at a bit of porn for a few minutes then shut down the computer and went for a walk. funnily, I found most of the porn disgusting to look at. But after 7 days of no masturbating at all and no sex, I feel okay, it just seems to be going slow this time around.
     
  3. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    Yep, FF, counting days, counting how long I'm going with nofap, just makes it feels longer.

    I get times I have strong urges for arousal, and then I get times when I just don't have any urges at all. That's normal. It's really a just a matter of going the distance. I was thinking about the whole 20 day relapse thing, and around then then the nofap just gets more intense because of abstinence, hitting 15 or 20 days doesn't necessary mean easier, it might actually mean things get harder (so to speak).

    But I've heard people talk about how the urges pass with more time. That makes sense, and in terms of the whole rebooting/rewiring, (neuro-plasticity and genesis) thing, that kind of makes sense, okay, so it's day 8 for me and I'm committed to making the effort. So, I'll get there... nuff said.
     
  4. Fran1981

    Fran1981 Fapstronaut

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    That's great advice. I need to keep that in mind next time I'm struggling. It's not easy though :(
     
  5. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    thanks for you comments FF, it's much better to get feedback from someone, I know that's what these forums are about, and it's great to have the support....

    there's something I learnt from a DVD on 'redesigning your mind...', it was really interesting about the use of periphery vision. Very interesting stuff.
     
  6. Earnest Lee

    Earnest Lee Fapstronaut

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    Lat-
    Similarly I struggle with a predictable time at which I know I'll be especially tempted. (Every sunday night- which is right now)- Sort of like your 20 days thing. Before I joined this site, that was my pattern: PMO nearly ever Sunday night. I didn't even pick up on the pattern until I became a fapstronaut. I'm averaging every other week now- (with one stretch of 24 days). Anyway, what works for me (at least half the time, anyway!) is to have a solid and scheduled plan of what I'll be doing on Sunday night. Workout at the gym, cold shower while listening to sacred music, time on this site on my work computer (I know I won't look at porn on my work computer). Anyway, for me the game plan has been helpful.
    I've been trying to do the same thing when I wake up in the morning- a list of things I do when I know I'll be most tempted (pray, bathroom, push-ups, breakfast, shower, leave). If I know I have a script, all I have to do is act it out.
    Anyway, I encourage you to schedule what you'll be doing on your 20th Day. Keep up the good fight!
     
  7. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Earnest Lee, it's good to get feedback from people that are struggling the same way. It's too easy to think the PMO stuggle is only happening to me, but nofap.com has opened up a world where I can learn and understand this better.

    You too mate, keep up the good fight and stay positive... good luck and thanks again... cheers Lat.
     
  8. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    I was watching a DVD called Redesign your brain, they did this thing about periphery vision and the use of it, and how it is part of intelligence and focus and concentration.

    I remember after watching it, I went shopping to a really busy shopping centre and I thought, well, okay, I'll just use periphery and focus only where I'm going. So, I walked through just thinking on where I had to go and getting what I had to get. I remember, from the corner of my eye catching sight of the occasional hot girl (you know low cleavage, short skirts, hot babes), but I stayed in periphery mode and didn't look at what was trying to get my attention. I stayed focused.

    It was liberating, and I wondered how often is my attention distracted in these circumstances, and how much being so easily distracted affects my focus and attention and being who I am and doing what I'm supposed to do. Being a slave to my appetite has lost me so much of what I can do and achieve in life.

    NoFap is more than just not watching porn and waking to organism, it's about getting my life on track and getting my certainty back and getting my clarity back and getting myself back on track... nuff said.
     
  9. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    it seems that rewiring the mind isn't just about breaking the PMO addiction (and the neuro/pathological settings that come with PMO).

    It's also about replacing bad habits that come with PMO (failing to face the cause of depression and anxiety, failing to get sex in a healthy way, isolating myself, depleting my energy, clouding my mind, losing my confidence)... replacing those bad things with good things like facing and dealing with cause of anxiety and depression by being proactive in life, getting sex in a healthy way, spending time with people and time on good hobbies, having good energy, confidence and clarity of mind.

    Stopping PMO on it's own wont change how the brain is wired, and wont break the pathological habits that have built around it. I need to take on positive activities and put time to things will form positive pathological habits, rewire my mind so that the neuro-activity is focused on things that get get positive results and make me happy.

    Day 9, day 10 is only just around the corner... focusing on positive things. :)
     
  10. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    this whole concept of rebooting, rewiring, redesigning the brain, neuro-plasticity and neuro-genesis is amazing.

    the idea that we can get inside our brains and change them for the better. It's a concept of self-control and improvement I never even dreamed possible.

    Amazing.
     
  11. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    10 days were slower at coming around this time. Last night I had really strong urges, so I got out of bed, and took the dog for a long walk, that's all it takes sometimes, just change the situation.

    Urges come and go. It's now a matter of getting through them and not succumbing to them when they come.

    I feel really good energy wise. No doubt, with no PMO I have better energy levels, clearer mind and greater certainty about what I am doing. Self gratifying is a form of flattery and flattery is deceptive. I don't want to deceive myself. nuff said.
     
  12. Lat

    Lat Fapstronaut

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    12 days, going very slowly. urges have gone, energy levels are good, though I'm feeling uninspired. That's got to do more with circumstances I'm dealing with then anything else.

    I find it hard to reprogram because changing circumstances takes time and struggling for a new life isn't easy.
     

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