To TSPorn and Beyond

@aldebr hello and dont worry about your post being similiar to others, Im not sure everyone on here reads every post speaking for myself I haven't but Ive read a bunch on different subjects and this will be the first in a while where I reveal a bit more about myself. I had been using pmo for a long, long time having not developed proper socialization skills from my parents. That is not to say I didnt have girlfriends, experiment and eventually try marriage not once but twice the second having ended only recently. In my time of pmo addiction, it ruined my ability to be intimate and led me down darker and darker paths or different and more different paths where I questioned my sexuality. And here is what I can honestly say about what I feel Ive learned: if you continually use pmo you will need to substitute one subject after another until you wind up in places you never thought you would go to. Im not saying that I dont think I might have some bi tendencies, but Ive looked at a lot of stuff and I dont seek that out in real life. I really enjoy sex with a beautiful woman and for me there is no substitute for that. For others maybe not. I commend you for trying the therapists to dig deep, but if you really were inclined to that type of person/persons I believe you would be seeking them out, not therapists to answer your questions about what you like. I also commend your girlfriend for being confident in her sexuality to not be intimidated by your curiosity or hurt by it. Since you are here and want to make an effort please read up about pmo addiction and learn about how pmo affects the brain and body and self esteem. There is an email in your inbox which should help you with that info. Try starting a journal so you can catalogue your thoughts and feelings and learn about what triggers your pmo so you can avoid it. Try a reboot where you abstain from sexual behavior for 90 days, if the pmo has effected your performance the reboot should help with that. Get rid of websites on your computer, videos, video clips, images whatever you may have around. Take some cold showers, and when you feel those urges go for a walk, run or go to the gym. Avoid the computer if you need to and catch up on some chores. Spend some time on here welcoming newbies and share some of your success tips with others that should at least be a few things to start on, good luck on your journey!

 

@aldebr when you insert an "@" before someones name it gives them a heads up that youve written to them. Yes at the moment its been at least 99 days as of today since I looked at any porn. My motivation was different my wife has left me after many years of a disfunctional unhappy marriage. But it forced me to face my addictions of both "drugs" and "porn" and even "food" if I think about it. I have been doing a triple threat approach to deal with my addictions NA, NoFap, and a therapist and believe it or not I find the therapist the least helpful. Holy Cow, I dont know why you needed the frenuloplasty but I gotta give your girl props for hanging in there she really sounds like your "someone special". I really think you should stop with the mo and the pmo though... for petes sake you are recovering from that surgery and while you are still moderately young... p-i-e-d can happen at any age. I think a reboot might help you build your ego and stamina and who cares what internet crap turns you on you have the "real thing" and you can lose it if you dont do the right thing. After ninety days you will be ready to have some good times with your girl(if you can wait that long). I think you are doing a bit of overthinking about the subject and if you are fapping alot you are not thinking clearly. Its like using curse words, if you curse all the time they lose their meaning. Think about the "good stuff" you can enjoy when youre not looking at porn and take the time to enjoy it...

 

@aldebr that is the key note right there - you just hit it "stay in the day" and things will improve over time. Thanks for your sympathy it does mean a lot when people show compassion. I had to do my thing just for me, and thats the only thing I have control over. You seem like you have a good positive attitude and that is also important, sometimes we slip just get back up and keep trying till you get where your wanna go.

 

You hav new gf so that is a good place to start for energy. Learn about and apply sex transmutation. Get involved in some programs and organizations on campus! You will be fine transmute your energy to rise to the top!

Your Friend STAR DUST