Oh no, not another escort question.

Please remember, that everything is in the brain. Porn starts to boring you, but then you can always chose different actress, right? But a next girl starts to be boring to... Why not to change genre? Oh, boring after some time? Let's find some 'fresh' stuff and after that another 'fresh' stuff etc... And you finally end watching some weird porn and having doubts about your own identity.

Using prostitutes is very similar - you can always go to the another girl if you feel bored. After some time you will need to find more extreme ones etc. What is more, you don't need to improve your life to get her - just give money and you have everything you want. You don't need to care about yourself, to be interesting, to be even near to man she would classify as a potential partner. Using escort is paying for lies, just as a porn and destroy your sexuality as well. The awareness that you pay for something you should have for free automatically made you worse than her in your head- you pay her, because she will never even take a look on you without money. She don't want to have sex with you, so you need to compensate her that unpleasantness. That girls obviously despised their customers.

The last thing - escort girls often have problem with their sexuality, for instance induced by the past trauma. If you pay her, then you hurt her and it is not fair. What is more you make world place where is more likely to lost girl become prostitute and destroy herself. Don't do that please.

 

I think @GaryMayor is right! It's the problem with dopamine. It's like buying and eating sweets. You don't have to bring any output to get them (just some money). But your brain won't notice any effort.

For example:
- when you learn for a test and you get a good grade, your brain will realise.
- when you work on your body, dress nicely and go onto a date and you have a nice conversation because you are a gentlemen or something like that, your brain will notice.

But getting sex for money isn't something you need to work hard on. And it courses addiction too. You change one bad thing with another bad thing. As already said, you pay for lying to you!

 

Man I relaly want to fuck a hooker.

 

I think part of the point is that sex with an escort still isn't real sex. Just like porn, it's fake, so you will just rewire your brain from unrealistic expectations from porn to unrealistic expectations from escorts. Escorts will do whatever you pay them to do (I assume, I've never used one). @Daniel stops makes a good point in that your brain learns what you're working for as well, and I think that makes a difference.

Also, look at how many people have gone hard mode and it's made real changes for them. Getting over the addiction to sex/lust/dopamine and instant gratification is most of the battle. Seeing an escort is still just seeing women as objects for your pleasure, and you'll never be fully rewired if you continue to believe that's what they are.

 

Yea I get where your coming from. When I had seen them before yes you get to meet an actual person and it does give you some experience in meeting people but they do that for the $. And you can tell if they have any actual interest in you. It isn't healthy in My book. No one needs an Escort. Some are fun, yes, but its the principle that counts. If you stay with no fab and don't give up you will have a better chance at meeting someone then paying for it.

 

My two cents at the topic. I don't think seeing an escort to rewire your brain is bad. I don't think seeing an escort is bad at all, regardless is the reasons you choose to do so, but that's a different topic.

The main argument in favor of seeing an escort is indeed the act of rewiring your brain. It is sex, you can't deny that. Of course it lacks all the emotional bonding that is present in "normal" sex, but people looking to rewire their brain will be satisfied even with just achieving only one goal instead of two.

Personally, I am a little fascinated by how many people are against escorts. Escorts always were and always will be part of society. Imagining a society where escorts do not exist in is IMHO naive and even counterproductive. Next, what amazes me is the fixation on "traditional" escorts. What if I go to a club and a drunk girl approaches me and you invites me to her place for a one night stand. Is that bad or good? What if I bought her all the drinks to get her to that state where she invited me? What if we divided the bill in half? The term escort has become so vague as a description that I see little point in using it. Someone who sleeps with someone else for money. That description fits a lot more people than traditional sex workers who work in brothels.

So, getting back to my point, of course there is a difference between having sex with an escort and a loved one. But in the absence of the latter the first option is perfectly suited for the task of rewiring your brain.

 

Can't agree. One of the most important problems induced by porn is seeing girls like a objects and sex as a way to fulfill your needs only. Using escorts affect your sexuality in the same way. So psychically sex with prostitute is the same and can help you to get used to intercourse-kind of stimulation, but it hurt you mentally. Additionally, there is a big chance to change one addiction to another. I am advocate of healthy sexual life at all, so I am against pornography, prostitution and other stuff as well.

 

Having to compinsate someone for there time because they don't like you or even enjoy having sex with you so you make it up by paying them.

 

I have had a fun time before with these ladies, but it all goes back to the start of if it is right or not. They ask how long do you want, how much time. That turns me off immediately. They want a "donation"
Maybe I'm wrong in this part. But I have struggled for awhile with prostitutes/escorts and I'm finally getting my life back together. When your another John with the revolving door it's not fun to be there man. Just about every girl I have seen doing this isn't making any money out of it. She is on drugs or spends it all on stuff and isn't getting no where and you are funding the problem.

I may be wrong here on this one thing.
But say you meet her. And she doesn't request any money during your time with her. And she doesn't mind if she gets paid or not or she doesnt mention if she minds it.Or about how much. I don't know if that is ok or not either.

 

I can see your point. Eventually, sex will be an option. The only concern I would have with the whole thing is what happens if you have unexpected PIED with the escort? Would that lead to a relapse out of negative emotions related to PIED? Just something to consider.

 

I disagree on many points. While porn indeed intensifies the sexual objectification of women (and by no means am I justifying such behaviour) your argument is only valid in the scenario where someone has sex with an escort specifically, because he objectifies the escort and uses her to fulfill his needs only. But what if I don't objectify the escort? What if I fulfill not only my needs (sexual), but her's also (financial). Of course most women in this field of work aren't content with their job. I totally agree that it's a bad situation for them and I feel pity. I really do. At the same time, we are all adults. And taking extreme situations aside, where women are literally forced to work as prosititutes, chances are it was her own decision to start/keep on doing so. And when we jump into the territory where women work as escorts on their own free will, then I don't see why that should hurt me mentally. Like I said, I am against this black-and-white approach to the question of escorts. I think there is a lot more grey in this area than people like to admit.

 

9

From my experience the woman I've met as escorts don't get out of their financial problems with doing this type of thing. Yes alot if them are putting themself out themselves putting their online ads up. I don't think it is a horrible thing but it's not a good thing. Specially with it being illegal in many places you could end up meeting an undercover cop. An escort really is just a word that is used to make it sound better. It usually does lead to sex. Sex for money.

 

This approach eliminate emotional aspect of sex, which is in my opinion crucial. You see sex only in psychical way of intercourse, but avoid to take a look on another things. It is not true that sex with escort is the same as sex with the beloved one. Such girls lies to their customers and often admit to imagine that they are in bedroom with somebody else and to laughing about their customers. In fact you pay escort for using her body in the way you enjoy, you are not interesting in her problems, life and beliefs. This is objectification, even if you try to convince yourself you both are just trade partners. Using escort and porn have a lot in common - immediately gratification without effort, wide availability, possibilities to often changes of sexual object, ways to check out even the most weird ideas, which women are not interested at all, lack of emotional factors, focusing on the psychical aspects of woman and your pleasure only. The one real difference between porn and using escort is the way of stimulation, but for instance masturbation with flashlight is close to intercourse in that terms. I don't want to blame anyone for using escorts of these girls for working like that, but I can't lie to you that is the healthy thing, established for centuries and the way to quit porn and heal PIED.

 

It would, but the novelty effect and other things can overperform that effect.

 

Never said that sex with an escort is identical as sex with a beloved one. The part where we disagree is the importance of emotions in sex. You consider them crucial, I consider them secondary. But let's remember that the OP talked about rewiring your brain to real life sex or in other words the physical aspect of sex. not the emotiional one. And when we take that into account then whether such girls lie to their customers and admit imagining someone else in the bedroom becomes irrelevant. The question he posed is whether having sex with an escort will help him rewire his brain, not whether it'll have the same emotional intimacy as sleeping with a girlfriend/wife.

Where I have to agree with you is that this approach is indeed objectification. But let's face it, people have objectified and will continue to objectify their surrounding peers for ages. And it's not only sexual objectification we are talking about here. When you go to a restaurant you "use" the waiter to get your order. Or "use" the taxi driver to get from point A to point B. Objectification has become so omnipresent and so "accepted" that fighting it is, while noble, pretty futile. Besides, nothing stops you from not engaging in the objectification, or not engaging so deeply. Be polite. Don't make her do things that she's not willing to do. The only difference between a taxi driver or an escort is the type of work they do. If you can be polite to one, you can be polite to the other.

 

What many people fail to realise is that, Escorts are basically a service. It's just like going to get a massage, or a haircut or a spa day etc... They are offering a service and it is wrong for anyone to judge them, because you don't know what their circumstances are. You don't know why they are doing it. Maybe they really need the money. I have used escorts on and off for years, and i have had a chance to talk to a lot of them. Some of them are doing it to pay the bills, others are trying to provide for their kid back home. Others are saving up for a university course. They are just trying to make a living. If they don't get clients then they get into financial difficulty, so honestly i don't agree when people say that nobody should go to them.

If you had no work to do at your company then you would become unemployed and in a worst case scenario homeless. So don't judge them for the career decisions they make before you even understand the story. Not everybody is going to have an easy path when it comes to dating. We all have different confidence levels and appearances. And life can make these go up and down. Being unemployed, depressed, stressed out etc... The way i see it, this is a just a learning experience nothing should be off limits. If seeing an escort is what it takes for you to eventually get on the path that you want then do it. How will we learn if we are filtering lives experiences because of our own personal experiences and beliefs? Let people see and learn for themselves.