It cost me the love of my life

Hi all,

I'm 23 and have become addicted to my own version of online porn. I have been watching porn since I was 13/14, but when I was around 17/18 I began to join sites where I could talk about cybersex with women on the internet. I also have a longstanding (and slightly embarassing) fetish for women in tights and stockings, and so these two things have combined to create an addiction to online cybersex, in which almost all of the fantasies involve women wearing these things. I hate that I have objectified women in this way; I am deeply ashamed of it infact as I am a proud feminist.

More importantly, I had been seeing a girl who I was deeply in love with but just could not stop this habit anytime I was away from her. I was unable to have real sex with her as I had complete erectile dysfunction unless she really worked at getting my penis up. She caught me numerous times and I tried to NoFap and managed to do a few weeks (with very positive results) before relapsing. This would continue each time but now she has had enough and left me. I am utterly devastated and disgusted at myself for doing this to her as I know how hard it was for her and how upsetting. I have cost mysely the most important thing I have ever had in my life.

I am desperate now to complete a sexual NoFab reboot not only to fix my non-existant sex-life but to also win my girlfriend back. I have downloaded websites blockers, am determined to start physical exercise again to combat anytime I get an urge to fap. I am wondering if anyone else on here has a similar story or has any advice they could give me that would help me in resisting the urge to relapse?