[30-CHALLENGE] THE THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 1

 

Day 0/30. Once more into the breach.

 

Day 13: done.
Day 14: In progress...

 

Day 3.

 

Day 5. So far it's going smooth.

 

Day 0/30

 

Day 22 / 30

 

22/30

 

2/30. Long way to go but feel better already.

 

Day 10/30. One-third of the way there!

 

Day 25/30

 

Day 8/30

Going out to donate some old clothes that are now too big for me.

 

So I'm restarting. The goal is to not do porn and masturbation for 30 days and only "O" with my wife. As I've briefly mentioned, I've been playing close attention to triggers and the big ones - being tired and oddly, having a productive day somehow are ones I need to remember to remind myself of. I fooled around with my wife yesterday morning and briefly explained what I'm trying to do (fortunately, I'm able to discuss this stuff with her) and for whatever reason, I wanted to go seven days without "O". This is still something I want to do. Fooling around always winds up being a trigger - the wife is very understanding and helpful, but we don't have the same sex drive. We often talk that somewhere in the middle of where we both are is probably what's healthy. Anyway, I had a tough day resisting, yesterday - and even took the cold shower. Maybe it was the heat or how worked up I was, it wasn't even that cold, but it did work and stave stuff off - I have to remember to use that more. I lost a lot of the day just "resisting" - I wanted to be away from my computer, but I need to be at my computer to work, but to be safe, I just went into the other room and read - I did yoga - I looked on here - But the biggest reason I'm doing this is to discipline myself and make better use of my time and while reading and yoga are things I'm doing and will do - there is an element of distraction / procrastination / which I think I will work through. Thinking out loud here guys, but anyway - After working my way through resisting looking at P and M yesterday, I got to work, got a good bit done, and then at the end of the night - almost like a lab rat, without thinking - before I could even think, I was looking at porn. To my disappointment, of course, it wasn't worth it. One of the biggest things that causes my "loop" so to speak is simply looking at updates on various sites. I have a select half dozen / or dozen things I look at - There was nothing and I felt like shit because I ended my streak for what? The good news is that I didn't "O", but I did look. I know that I can't even peek and that's what I'm trying to do - and also not "M" unless my wife is also there. So in the interest of full accountability, I just wanted to let you guys know I'm starting over. I will check back here occasionally - This still is a good "replacement" for me - But in terms of discipline, I still have a way to go - 5 days is a decent streak for me. Seven is the bench post I'm really looking at for NO PMO of any kind, and then after that, only with my wife. I'm trying to rewire my brain, like all of us. Good luck and thanks.

 

4/30 ..no pmo...

 

I'm in. Good luck to all

 

0/30

 

62 days clean

 

19/30

 

Day 3 did well but I want to get my best so again staying focused

 

day 27 check in. stay strong