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When is it okay to masturbate?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by cooffeeman, Aug 1, 2018.

  1. Tantalus

    Tantalus Fapstronaut

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    Vedas,
    1) You clearly can't or won't distinguish between addictive behaviours and normal sexual health. If you actually read all the words in my post and more IMPORTANTLY understood them then you would get that the role of EXCESS and ADDICTION are key
    2) This may surprise you but the physiology of rats is a bit different from humans. Though in your case who knows?

    3) This is particularly hilarious..... I have a B.Sc, M.Sc and PhD as well as post doctoral experience... all in science so I kinda get science.

    You would do well to try and establish FACTS before flaying around allegations.

    Try making like your Avatar, you need to adopt the Burmese position, breathe and chill the fuck out dude
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2018
  2. Tantalus

    Tantalus Fapstronaut

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    one thing that scientists do is research to challenge hypotheses and find evidence that supports or destroys these hypotheses

    A quick look at Vedas-fr posts gies a pretty alarming insight into a very misguided, prejeudiced, ill-informed and damaging individual.

    In these forums one assu0ems that most individual want to help, to support and to share kindness.

    Then you have this character, now on ignore for me, who bring ignorance and posion.

     
  3. Tantalus

    Tantalus Fapstronaut

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  4. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    Try to change the subject to avoid the heat "mr PHD" (lol).

    Quoting a sentence outside of its context is not a sign of intelligence or objectivity. Now i posted a science study and all you can do is say : muh rats are different than human except you muh muh muh

    Yes except most of mammals are almost similars in many aspects. And you actually have the same kind of studies for human "mr PHD". So please don't pretend science is on your side. Every Nofap thread has someone like you! I think you did not realize you are on NOFAP where most people believe and accept that masturbation is HARMFUL, and that they see amazing changes when they abstain from sex for long periods!!!
    So please try to be smart and show your fake phd on other forums because here you have people like me who actually have first hand experience on these topics. Therefore we don't even need science, but for people like you it is painful because if we really want we can find that science, like the article above on rats and also human and dopamine, testosterone levels and so on...
    Nobody here cares about your consensual mainstream pseudo educated opinion. If they want those advices they just go on any general pseudo scientific health website. And just for fun, how long are you able to go without sex? Are you going to teach people here who can go months or even years without ejaculating?
     
  5. cooffeeman

    cooffeeman New Fapstronaut

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    Many good answers to my post here, so thanks for all the reply :)
    I would like to stay away from PM for a bit longer and see how it feels. And if I go back to M at a later time, I will not do it for more than once a week. But being absent from both in the recovery/reboot period is probably the best choice.
    However, many of you here probably feel the urge to M at times (like myself). Do you have some good advice on how to not go for the temptation of M again? Feeling that I'm probably going to struggle a bit with that, at least now since I've just started.
     
    Tantalus likes this.
  6. Tantalus

    Tantalus Fapstronaut

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    As a species we are driven by the urge to procreate, to spread our DNA and ensure the survival of our species. Those urges you mention are millions of years old and predate many of our higher functions in the brain. the human brain is a bit of a hodge-podge of evolutionary components which reflects our progression as a species

    To our ancient , more chimp-like brain, pornography appears to offer an opportunity to propagate and spread our DNA and so it stimulates arousal. Many of our reactions like anger, rage, arousal come from the chimp and our right brain responses (these are non verbal, have little sense of time and respond quickly).
    The trick is to try and invoke our left brain higher functioning and critical-thinking elements. In evolutionary terms these are far more recent and reflect our more recent history as a more advanced species.
    So the chimp will help in fight and flight when we are threatened but can be an enemy to fighting temptation and adverse emotions like anger, rage or lust

    You will hear many people here and elsewhere advocate mindfulness or meditation. The neuroscience behind why this ancient practice works so well in controlling our reactions is that it gives us some pause for thought, to challenge the chimp and to let the higher more thoughtful response to engage. Our left brain needs more time and if we don't provide that, the right-brain chimp kicks in and we react rather than respond. The notion therefore of controlling one's urges is actually more about controlling one's chimp.
    The conflict and guilt you will read many talking of above is our higher functioning selves (the left brain) admonishing what the chimp did (our right brain) when we have had time to think about it (after masturbation and orgasm then comes the regret from the thinking-self not the reacting-self).

    So in practical terms

    1) Try to avoid stimulating the chimp: no porn, stay away form social media for a while if possible, identify your triggers and try to minimise exposure. This will keep the chimp in his cage for while or at least engaged in what it is best suited for: saving your life when needed
    2) Learn some very simple mindfulness : there are tons of Apps like Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer (which I have now used for a couple of years). In these you can get some simple guided meditations to help stay focused, calm and present
    3) Use distractions and rewards, when the urge comes, try and interrupt with something else

    Masturbation as well as being addictive is also a habit response: there is a super book on Habits and how they can control us by Charles Duhigg: its a great read not just for PMO but for life .
    Here s a link https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-...id=1533190668&sr=8-1&keywords=charles++duhigg

    Another super book is by Daniel Meschel about self-control. It is a now very famous behavioural test called the Marshmallow Test
    https://www.amazon.com/Marshmallow-...33190744&sr=1-1&keywords=the+marshmallow+test

    Worth noting that you will see a lot of chimp responses in these forums , when you do, know it for what it is and either treat it with sympathy for the suffering chimp or ignore it. There is no point in fighting chimp-to-chimp: as a species we have evolved further though some still spend a lot of their time tree swinging!!

    Good luck with your quest and to quote a wise man (Buddha)

    pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2018
    DoeDew likes this.
  7. Vedas_fr

    Vedas_fr Fapstronaut

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    What does that even mean???
     
  8. efh

    efh Fapstronaut

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    It's about the difference between actual pain (which everyone has, gets or will feel) and what you do with the pain - how you deal with it.

    Suffering is self-imposed whereas pain is not. It's Buddhist stuff, all about observing and recognizing but not getting obsessed or involved.
     
  9. Never. When never occurs its okay to do it.
     
  10. cooffeeman

    cooffeeman New Fapstronaut

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    I have been thinking about doing a bit of meditation, so I think I will start with that. Exercising is great for keeping the endorphins up as well.
    Healthy distractions is probably important as well. For me, I would say loneliness or just being alone is the greatest trigger to watch porn or masturbate. If you hang out with people or out in the public, you wouldn't start with PM.
    And like most addictions, It's most difficult within the first couple of weeks or so. The body needs some time to adjust to the change of a old habit.
     
  11. Uncomfortably Numb

    Uncomfortably Numb Fapstronaut

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    It's your body, it's your potential addiction... you decide
     
  12. LonerWolf

    LonerWolf Fapstronaut

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    FUCKING NEVER!!!!
     
  13. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    NEVER

    Nofap isn't only about porn its also about not puttin woman on a pedestole and seeking their attention or wanting to orgasme.
     

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