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Nofap: A beautiful treasure

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by dboy18, Jul 28, 2018.

  1. dboy18

    dboy18 Fapstronaut

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    was back in 2016 when I had lost my grandmother that I began to look deeply into my life. I was angry at myself and always questioned my existence as a person. I had been working as a call centre agent at a debt collecting firm and was an underperforming agent in my team. The feelings I felt are the following: worthless, weak, angry, depressed, scared, lonely, always in my thoughts all day, and hiding away from people. At work I was slow, tired, scared to greet anyone, having conversations was difficult, I mean I could not talk to customers without having to think of what to say, my voice was literally trembling everytime I had to confront a customer over the phone. The physical downs I experienced are as follows: my legs felt like planks when walking, girls would look at me but I would immediately look away, everytime I had to relieve my self in the bathroom I would be dripping urine after, my buttocks were painful inside, body felt weak, my head felt empty and thin, my facial structure was skeleton like, my voice sounded woman like. At this time of my life I was masturbating twice or more times a day. I felt guilty everytime I did l. I also knew about nofap and abstinence but did not think it affected my life in anyway. I thought it was safe and harmless. And so one evening i was browsing YouTube and came across nofap videos by a guy called Andrew. Listening to him was freedom and his story of his life before nofap related so well to my struggle. I searched other nofap vvideos and was like 'what the heck!' Where has this treasure been hiding all along. I didn't hesitate and promised myself that I would try out abstinence immediately. I went for 3 months, relapsed once, started again and went for 4 months. I experienced all the wonderful benefits that Andrew and other nofap guys mentioned in their nofap videos. Overall benefits: Presence was strong, confident, very energetic, calmer, stronger, appreciative of simple things, voice is firm, hard erections and sensitive manhood. I felt like a 7 year old(really went back in time). This period in my life really answered all my questions on why I was such a so called loser. In my teen years I was a low grade student in high school. I went to university and quit after 3 years, later on I went to a college and started a new course of study and did not pass it after that I chose to go and work at a debt collection firm, and guess what, I later on resigned. You can imagine how demotivated I am giving up on life. Masturbation has honestly destroyed my life terribly and I did not know that it was the real reason for my poor quality of life. Nothing was and is working in my life, I currently am not achieving anything, not enjoying or having any solid relationships or friendships. What has mainly set me back is that I fear the stigma around masturbation, people laugh at you and think it a funny thing to do, also it is hardly spoken of and that has resulted in me keeping it a secret all my life. Luckily this platform helps in speaking about nofap with no shame and embarassment. So help me to track my progress right here this time and giving myself a chance to heal with you NoFap peeps and not die alone. Thank you.
     
    BlueOwl likes this.
  2. Robane

    Robane Fapstronaut

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    Hey dboy,
    I'm basically in the exact same situation as you are. The one positive thing for me is that I was able to land a job this week. So things are starting to turn around. It's not my ideal job, but it's better than the last one I resigned from. Unfortunately I still succumbed to PMO this week. This last relapse was the impetus for me to rejoin a rebooting community, for I had not been in one for over a year. (I used to be on YourBrainrebalanced, but was not getting any feedback from the other forum members). I think that by me helping other people with this issue, I'lll be able to help myself as well. I really think porn addiction is a symptom of some other more major issues in our lives. I have several questions for you....
    1)How old are you?
    2) Do you still live with your parents?
    3) How is your financial situation?
    4) How is your intimate life?
    5) Are you satisfied career-wise?
     
    dboy18 likes this.
  3. dboy18

    dboy18 Fapstronaut

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    Well done on your new job. I am 27 years of age, I don't have a relationship, I'm attending university fulltime I still live with my parents but I'm at the university boarding hostel most of the time. Not happy at all.
     
  4. BlueOwl

    BlueOwl Fapstronaut

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    I feel with you. You have done a good job sharing your story :) Together we are stronger!
     
  5. Robane

    Robane Fapstronaut

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    Sorry for late reply. I will try to be on here more often. Well I just turned 30 last month and I still live with my parents. So I really have something to be unhappy about!!! If it weren’t for crappy decisions I made about my career, I would have been in a better financial situation. But I Just need to keep pressing on. My advice would be to focus on your career. Keep yourself so busy with life that you won’t have time to sit in your emotions. I started reading some Indian Vedic texts, and they always talk about the higher spiritual consciousness and the ego. The ego is your mind telling you all sorts of negative stuff. It’s trying to convince you that all is lost. The higher consciousness is trying to get you out of your “mind” so you can focus on your life purpose and reach fulfillment. I’m listening an audiobook by Vishnu Swami “Eternal Dharma “
     
  6. Robane

    Robane Fapstronaut

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    To dboy and anyone else,
    I’ve been reading about the Hindu concept of dharma lately. Dharma is basically the unique predestined purpose that each living and non-living thing in the universe has to fulfill. This is actually a common concept in most ancient traditions around the world from Asia, to Africa, to the Ancient societies of America. The premise is that when we as human live out of almost alignment with our dharma, we will experience stagnation and unfulfillment in our lives. This is just an idea, however. In no way I am suggesting this concept is true or written in stone. But it is something interesting to explore. Check out this dharma test. I would also suggest reading the book that goes along with it. You can read thebook on the app Scribd. Scribd has a one month free trial.
    http://spirittype.com/self-test/
     

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