Curing PIED after many years...

Bad thing for me I didn't had a problem until this past year. I go soft and nervous as you discribed and even tho I can get hard on my own, it's just the thought of wearing a condom that I go soft, I always start thinking about my performance and how hard I am that makes me go soft. Does that same thing happens to you when you relapse?

 

I’ve had some form of pied since I was 22. I’m 37 now. I never connected the dots and just thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I drank or smoked too much...maybe it’s just the way I was. I didn’t know. All I did know what that I could penetrate some girls and others I couldn’t.

Around 2012-13 I was engaged to a girl and stopped pmoing because she wanted sex all the time...not because I figured out what was going on. I can tell you that over time my erections with this woman could penetrate a brick wall. Looking back now I see that I had rewired to her.

Well we split up and I immediately drove right back into porn. Now the pied is back. So there is light at the end of the tunnel...it can work!

 

I have your exact issue. I'm 37 and I've been married for 13 years, addicted to PMO about 20 years but only recently decided to do something about it after years of being in denial/thinking it was "normal"

I've had PIED off and on for about 6 or 7 years. Recently, my wife and I began working on improving our intimacy, which has led to some really hot relations we hadn't experienced in years. However, recently I've been going limp either inside her because I worry about how hard I am or just prior to insertion during doggystyle, which sucks because it's my wife's favorite position. I'm convinced it's a combo of PIED, self fulfilling prophecy and mental block at this point, but I'm struggling to get past it and it's a big part of the reason I found this place.

Last night I went limp during doggy insertion, but she was able to finish me orally after I relaxed and she told me it was OK and she'd make it all better, which was relieving and oddly arousing to hear. That was my first O in about 40 days that didn't come from my own hand. This was big for me because in the past I just shut down after going soft and can't regain an erection no matter what, which used to lead to sad PMO after she went to sleep.

I'm still at the beginning of my nofap journey, but am already noticing slightly more sensitivity for her touch now that my dick has only felt my death grip once in the last 3 weeks (stupid relapse ).

I'm hoping abstaining long term from PM will eventually make me able to push through my insertion and anxiety issues.