Not enough motivation, is this what life is?

Here's what you HAVE to do:

1. Make an order with these books:

Short version.

• The Millionaire Fastlane.
• Day Bang.
• Personal Development for Smart People.

Extended version (which includes the previous 3 also):

• Bang.
• The Slight Edge.
• The Dip.
• Influence.
• 22 Laws of Marketing.
• How to Win Friends and Influence People.
• The E-Myth revisited.
• Cosmic Consciousness.
• How to Get Rich.
• Minimalism.

2. Don't gimme any sh*t like "girls don't like me anyway", "I don't want to be rich", "those are scams", "no matter what I do I can't change" or crap like that. I didn't make a random list. I put them there to help you and THESE BOOKS WILL HELP YOU. Sorry if you're innocent paying for guilty. I'm hard because people don't care enough for reading and the value it provides for the "cost".

3. Take your time to read them thoroughly. Set a few months to focus 100% if you need to. Don't skim. Take notes. Make your own summaries. Soak in the knowledge and mindset they distill.

4. Apply them as you'll learn precisely by reading them.

 

I have decided to quit many times and failed. I have gone trough a long process of gradually understanding how bad PMO is for me in the long term. I have realized that no matter how many times I have failed in the past, I have to try my damnest to stay clean for today. Take it one day at a time, dont think too far ahead and I promise you will make it. I am currently done With 6 days. I havent been this far in more than a year and a half and I am starting to feel more and more confident that I finally will make it Hope this helps.

 

Hi KoalaDude, I feel the pain or at least I can empathise with you. There's no doubt that for some of us, the journey is tough. The thing is, you might want to try and find out what you want out of the experience. If confidence is not sufficient, then start exploring other possibilities.

For myself, I still have anxiety issues, lonliness, fear, self loathing, lack of motivation, trouble approaching women, etc. I don't expect the no pmo journey to fix any if that. If it does, great. But, for me, it gives me some free time. Time to self reflect and figure out where I'm going to go.

The resources provided by TotalLifeChange is something worth exploring and I want to try and read them too.

You have to ask yourself:

Do you want to spend your life wasting away in a haze of habitual compulsion, because it provides instant gratification?

Or

Do you want to really work hard at finding the path that works and away from pmo? This will be a tough journey, especially if you struggle with other things in life like I do. You'll have to really want to put the effort, time, energy, and determination. You truly want to change. You might stumble and fall along the way, like most of us. That's okay, you just have to get up and do it again.

Or do you want to just try to minimise the pmo problem and exist without much change?

In some ways, there's no right or wrong answer, just what you're looking for in your life.

All the best to you and everyone.

And take it a step at a time.

 

I want to add some more things.

I don't think it's possible to compare real life with people in the porn world or even in general movies.

Don't try to take the approach of replacing PMO with something that is equally or more pleasurable (in terms of instant gratification). It can lead to further self destructive behaviours. Maybe for some people, they can find something that can be better, provide instant gratification, constructive and yet also improve their lives.

For some people though, like myself, there is no easy road if we need to make actual changes (I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life).

I'll give you an example, if you want to be with the type of people you find attractive or very attractive (without relying on luck), then you may have to work out really hard to get a certain type of body, eat the right type of food, practice on communication skills, maybe courting skills, learn topics of interests, maybe travel, have various hobbies, etc.

This may take months and years, but here's the thing, there is no guarantee you'll be with that person or the type of people you like or get the things you want.

I think the main thing - is to do the things you want to improve yourself, rather than do them to attract someone or gain their approval. It's not about proving yourself to someone else. That's if you don't want to come off sounding fake and just putting on a show.

Chances are, stopping masturbation and gaining confidence - on their own ain't going to pay the bills or get you a partner. Sure, for some people it might work, but don't put your money on that.

I suggest trying to find your interest, something you can look forward to, something you can help build on, , bit by bit and in turn it can help you be a person you want to be.

 

If you don't masturbate you will rehabilitate your organism's bio- and neuro- chemistry which will improve your psychological state which will result in a higher quality of being.

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/desensitization-numbed-pleasure-response

http://www.herballove.com/articles/...xcessive-ejaculation-causes-damaging-chemical

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12689608

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3050060/

 

Koaladude, you said something with which I identify very much: "there's simply nothing GOOD ENOUGH to replace PMO."

There was a time when I would go a month, or in one case, four months, without PMO. Life would seem okay, even at times, magical. Then along would come some dry spell in life. I would lose happiness and peace of mind for what seemed like an eternity, and I knew I could buy that again, at least for a time, with PMO. So I would. PMO was hell, and abstinence was hell. Both seemed equal, though PMO ultimately a little better than abstinence. There came a time when I said, "Is this all there is in life? Is this as good as it gets?"

For me, I have found that thing good enough to replace PMO in a 12 step group for sex addiction. With the fellowship, understanding, and tools to deal with life as it comes, I feel a sort of continual peace, despite going through the same dry spells I used to. In the end, I'm told, I'm meant to try to pass that on to others, to try to be helpful, though that is hard for me.

This will not be everyone's way, but I do hope you will find that thing good enough to replace PMO in your own life.

 

A clear NO! There is MUCH more in life! The best you can reach is a truly fulfilled and pleasant life, and a balanced feeling, which makes you happy throughout.

PMO is only a short trip, liek a dream, like a bubble -- but WITHOUT PMO, you can go into a truly pleasant, fulfilled and simple life.

 

I like to hear that, man. Of all the advice I can give what matters to me the most is seeing someone who actively seeks to improve his or her knowledge. That's what really matters.

Then applying it of course.

Knowledge and action, any of the two are worthless without the other.

But together they transform into real power.

 

"there's simply nothing GOOD ENOUGH to replace PMO."

classic junkie mentality. that's how you know you are truly addicted. not calling you a junkie, but i mean come on.

There's a world of possibilities out there, but then maybe PMO is your true happiness, just as the junkie sitting in a filthy dope house like in a scene out of trainspotting is perfectly content with a needle in their arm.

I assure you PMO is not true happiness, and I don't mean to sound harsh but sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow. PMO is 'lower brained self-gratification'. If you don't think there's any richer indulgences and pleasure in life out there, then I'm afraid you are a raging addict.

But have hope! Even a hopeless addict can change and discover the possibilities of living a richer, more fulfilling existence!

Also it sounds like you need to learn how to deal with discomfort. A crucial skill in overcoming PMO for the longhaul.