Need a hug or a shoulder to cry on?

It makes my heart happy seeing that there as still people who are willing to be vulnerable and open with each other and willing to be there for one another. Life can be a lonely son of a bitch, so having people you can look to when you are struggling is very useful. Dont let life harden you or anyone convince you that you dont need anybody or that you shouldnt let your guard down, because in the end thatll leave you lonely and miserable. I refuse to spend my life suspecting of everyone i meet wanting to screw me over somehow. I look forward to meeting more people and making more friends and making memories with those people, i feel like community is a big part of life that a lot of people are missing. Having a network of friends is very helpful and can fill the void. If any of you ever need someone to talk to feel free to reach out!

 

Last night I had a dream that reflected my post from yesterday. I was in a church feeling the sadness, isolation, loneliness and need to be embraced by a man. A man (Jesus?) comes up to me and holds me in his arms hugs me tight then he kisses me on the cheek. I broke down crying in relief and I felt total acceptance and love in that embrace.
I need to accept His love and forgiveness and just move on.

 

Your ideas are perfect
I look forward to meeting more people and making memories and connecting with people with the same mentality

 

That’s the beauty of life! I am so excited to make more friends and share experiences with them. I hope you find the same!

 

This is one of the most beautiful, touching posts I’ve ever read. Thank you for opening up and being so honest with staff that so many of us don’t say! It’s the ones who admit they have times when they need a shoulder who are truly the strong ones. Sending a virtual hug!

It sounds like you may be able to start a group here where we can all help each other.

Thank you again!

 

I may not sound that "perfect" in this scenario...but i believe that the work of support befalls on you and you alone...
Like all of us .... going through the disappointments and hardships in life... had taken a toll on me ... but through my experiences what i've learnt that people will be there with you till a certain point... they can inspire and motivate you...beyond that its YOU...and YOU alone...
I have seen both sides of the coin...people who were there during the storm..extremely few in number.... almost close to none in some cases... and in most cases , those who have bailed out...damn some even used that as a leverage against me... but that one person who's always sided with me is myself...

It's a hard-to-swallow pill but sometimes there won't be a shoulder to weep on....sometimes you have to wipe your own tears...but remember it will only make you dependent on yourself and no one else...it will prepare you for the circumstances...in which you might have to struggle alone...

And if you are fortunate to have some people to be around you during those times....remember them too...its a rarity..

 

I agree, my friend! When we hang up the phone or log off the site or whatever, after getting help to defeat an urge, we and we alone are left to walk the final steps of that journey. Sometimes, we do great, others... not so much. But, we learn and we get back up.

If you need someone to stand with you, I'll do my best to be there, my friend. You're awesome, don't ever forget it!

 

Well yes. In the end all you have is yourself. I think this post is more about admitting that it is hard being alone. And that it would be nice to just have someone there sometimes.

 

Indeed it is so rough when we are alone. I also had suicidal thoughts at some stages in life. All I hope is one day all the pain will end. But I don't know when is this. Perhaps, we are not after a shoulder. We want a person who is loyal and reliable and understands us. We feel like this person does not exist. This is why we are so upset.

 

They do exist. You were created to be happy.

 

Yes I do agree, it is really hard being alone and nothing is more amazing than to have someone to sail through the hardships. But there is no guarantee that there would be someone during those times...

During our troubled times....to have a confidant....to share your problems... if not trying to resolve it outright , does help you a lot....but if that person is not present......not reachable...due to any reason ... the onus falls on you...


That was the period when I learnt to deal it myself....it is undoubtedly tough....it was more of a compulsion for me to deal with it myself rather than an option...but now in retrospect...for me it was learning phase...switching from being helpless to gaining wisdom....to deal with issues independently....

 

100%
Feels like I have to be a cirtain way, play a different role for each person that I know. The elephant in the room, don't talk about it just walk around it. Play cool, really I just wanna break down in pieces

 

Sometimes we need to let ourselves break down (even if it’s alone and in private) in order to rebuild ourselves even stronger. I know exactly what you mean about being different for each person. I’m getting better at not doing that, but sometimes, I still do.

 

I wish I could, bottled up, sometimes these things just flow when they are ready. Hmmm yes it's not fair on the mind to keep track of so many caricatures but being yourself is so hard.
If I could be the me I am here on nofap in real life I would be free, but our environments aren't always safe enough to allow vulnerability. I am a hypocrite, I admit that much freely. I'm in need of taking my own advice. Still sometimes a reply is all you need. Better is all we need, day by day, step by step, WE will get there if it's the last thing we do.

 

I understand, my friend. I agree, it will come when it is the right time. Especially if your environment is not safe for it. You are absolutely right: WE will get there! We are in this together.

 

I too am a liar and fraud. I have met the true me but I can’t deal with his purity. So i push him away and continue patching up, protecting the liar self with which I face the world.

 

Practice letting him out. Allow him to express himself. Even just a little bit everyday and you'll become more comfortable with him. He IS you, after all. Best of luck, friend.