Accountability

We use EA and it has worked well. Anything to help my wife heal and from the damage I had done is worth it.

 

Has either of you had an issue with it only showing the latest 6 hours of a day and deleting the rest that was before it

 

I'm a big fan of ever accountable. it doesn't restrict any website that you look at. it just sends a report to your SO showing what you've looked at. It's nice knowing that kenzi can see everything I'm doing. it makes it easy to be transparent, that way I dont have to remember everything I did and if she see something that she thinks is questionable she can ask and we can talk about it. I know I'm forgetful and my forgetfulness sometimes feels like to her I'm not being transparent with my actions. so it helps a lot with that.

 

We’ve been using Qustodio for a while now and it has worked well for us in addition to things like regularly reviewing bank transations and having a rule for him not to carry cash (or go to an ATM, backed up by the bank statements).

You probably already know this but I’ll say it anyway: accountability can be more than accountability software. The more accountability you offer and really stick to the more she will have an environment in which it feels safe to begin relationship-recovery. And it should be said that this is not a process where the more accountability you have the more the trust-meter will fill up at some given rate like a video game, you know? This is about creating a safe environment for the actual work to be done. So remember to do the actual work too in conjunction safe environment + personal recovery (for each individual) + relationship recovery = path to healing, the way I see it.