becoming a live-in slave

i think you have something more complicated and crazier thing than PMO, your social life, career will tend to get spoiled in time...you may can be cheated or blackmailed by dominatrix...so leave it boy

 

Yeah your conscious mind think that you don't have it , but you really have it deep inside !
coz self-esteem is in our unconscious mind and define our behaviors !

 

so, if any person with submissive or femdom fetish will have low self-esteem?

 

This is where kink turns into perversion. There is no seperating sex from the rest of your life. You cannot be a respectable man while at the same time letting yourself be degraded like that.

Think about it. You are throwing away everything just to fulfill a bullshit fantasy and you are even considering to pay money for it.

You might get away with masturbating to fantasies and watching P because noone would find out. But once you let this demon into your real life it will stay there forever. If someone catches you masturbating to your mother, being led on a leash or even living in someone's personal BDSM dungeon your entire social and professional life will be permanently ruined and there is no coming back from that. You will be a dead man and all you are left with are some deviants who will attempt to make a buck from your own misery... or worse.

Besides, what if you seriously get hurt? Like irreversibly? What if the person who "enslaves" you starts to maim you because she/ he thinks it's hot? What if she/ he blackmails you, pimps you out (which will likely infect you with HIV at some point), or lets you do heavy labor without even paying attention to your health and your actual sexual fantasies?

 

At this point I assume that you, graham55, are already dead. You have lost the game of life. May God have mercy with you.

All lurkers and people who have similiar issues can consider this thread a warning. This is how you are going to end up if you keep abusing porn.

 

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru

 

JUST STOP

 

Yes dude ! I am 100 % sure , work you your self-esteem , love your self and convince your self like you deserve everything good in this life and you will see !

 

While I agree with the idea, I would say this website wouldn’t exist is we could all “just stop”

Something more has to be done when it comes to addictions beyond the stopping.

 

1) Try to talk to your self and say to yourself that you deserve everything good in life !
2) Use meditation 10 min before you sleep
3) Read the book of " six pillar of self-esteem " and search about that !

 

@graham55 you don’t care because you believe yourself to be worthless deep down and you feel you need to be punished for that. Firstly you need to forgive yourself. It is quite easy to feel sorry for yourself, ashamed and guilty and then punish yourself more for these feelings by getting more depraved

 

@graham55 I just relapsed today. My first post ever on here. I have had a couple 90 day runs, and some 30, 60 day runs. I relapsed after 6 days again though. The place that I was in before compared to now though pales in comparison. I saw your posts.

YOU ARE NOT "ALREADY DEAD"

If you went through with becoming this slave person, and really took it to that level, you would be in the same place as now, but just even more unhappy.

If you were really all that happy with femdom and porn that you have experience so far and "didnt care" about it, THEN YOU WOULDNT BE HERE TALKING TO US RIGHT NOW.

YOU WOULDNT FEEL LIKE SHIT all the time, which I'm sure you do, if you were really meant to be seeking out this type of dominating relationship with a women.

YOU WOULDNT BE GOING TO A THERAPIST IF YOU DIDN'T WANT CHANGE.

YOU DO CARE. THIS IS NOT YOU.

If you went through with the slave house thing, you would be right back where you started, talking with us, and another therapist, and trying to figure out a way to stop. BECAUSE IT IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT. You feel like shit now, and you are talking with us, BECAUSE you are engaging with porn and femdom. So why do you think its a good idea to take this further. It leads to nowhere. YOU DO CARE. It is not natural to who you are as a person. Femdom does not vibe with you as a person.

YOU ARE ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER.

You are actually meant to be and act like an awesome, powerful and positive person who helps himself. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.

you just basically discovered a fetish and it escalated. THAT'S IT. you will get out. you are in a feedback loop. it is your choice. you are the one that enables the fetish. you can choose not to engage with it. fetishes and sexual impulses MORPH OVER TIME BY THEMSELVES based on the decisions you make

IT just takes TIME.

You have to point your sexual energy to something outside of your laptop and away from the direction of femdom women and people who will disable you from contributing anything positive to yourself and society. just leave it alone for awhile, and engage with things and people and knowledge and actions and skills that will empower you to become a person that can help people and yourself.

You will be able to spread positive energy through the world. you basically just have to treat your mind and body good, and your mind and body will retrain and reset to help you get to where you want to go.

PRACTICAL ACTION ITEMS that helped me:

1. I would recommend completely deleting the phone numbers of the dom lady that you talk to. fuck that bitch. dont say goodnight to her. you dont need her. FUCK THAT BITCH.
2. make it a rule to yourself that you have to keep the door to your room open at all times.
3. On your phone get the app "no incognito mode" then throw away the password to it when you set it up. Then get "spin browser app" on your phone to surf the internet. this will completely neutralize your phone from having access to porn even if you want to.
4. Get a calendar. Print it out and put it up on your wall. Every day you do not do porn, or talk to femdom bitches/whores/degenerates, or masturbate, put a fat "X" through that day. Keep doing this and you will get a chain of "X" on your calendar. Dont break the chain! But if you do, its ok. LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING "X's" lol. just restart and do the next day.
5. train yourself. every time you say no to femdom and porn and masturbating, then eat some ice cream or candy or something. set rewards for yourself. This will reinforce the positive habit. your brain will associate ice cream with good decisions.
6. make it a rule that you will literally throw away your laptop if you relapse again. Your life is worth more than your laptop. Judging by these posts, you literally need to take it to that level. You might really need to consider the option of going through the rest of your life without a personal laptop somehow for the time being.
7. ANY ACTIVITY IS BETTER THEN PMO. There are so many things you can do. Take a walk when you have urges. even if it is a 12:00 midnight. just get the fuck away from your laptop lol. if people think you are weird fuck em. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Go to the gym for sure.
8. STOP USING SKYPE AND UNINSTALL THAT MOFO.
9. I would suggest the possibility of going into a rehab center. look into it. They have ones where you cannot access the internet.

There is always hope. One day at a time. You can get to a great place. Your brain rewires, but you have to be committed and give it time.

IMAGINE AN AWESOME FUCKING FUTURE. ONE THAT YOU WILL BE ACTUALLY HAPPY WITH. YOU DESERVE IT. THIS IS YOUR LIFE.

 

You pay these ladies to fullfill your fantasies. But they dont care. They just take the money. They don't care if you feel bad or hate yourself.

I am sure you don't need to lose this fetish 100%. You could find a girlfriend and have a healthy relationship full of love. And when having sex you can still do this. But if you love each other it's healthier. It won't damage you because you love the real girl behind the femdom.

 

@graham55 Awesome man send me a message in the future about your life without PMO. I will do the same. My intention is to get to the city as well and move and achieve a free and awesome life. I will be the KING of GOOD ENGERGY and awesome relationships and awesome success.

 

You will make it bro, determination is all you need. Was in the same ballpark when it comes to those fetishes, had accounts on some websites and talked to some dommes as well. Although i never did activities or cammed with them, only talked. I am at 200 days plus now. It is so worth it. You will feel alive man, connected with the world. Yes, the first few months will be difficult, but man after that you will feel so much better than the people around you and they will pick up on that. Your fetishes will also slowly dissapear. Go for it man.

 

I am sorry mate if I am not following the thread, i read it twice in fact but long time ago. I have an idea and I think it can make a big jump for you. Why don't you abandon all those girls/clubs/whatever job or activity or work that is linked or can be a trigger to your real life femdom. If you can do this as a first step. Just forget everything and leave that job and change your mobile number, just change everything and return to your family as a social productive person. Yes it will be too much hard but prepare and do it at once, and make sure not to irretate or get fooled by your "lying mind," that you should go back to femdom stuff. After this get support. And start all over again amd you will much be proud about yourself. Do it man.. Just do it. And don't ever ever think about negative totally false thoughts about suicide or whatever. Sorry if this might not be related.