Facing nothingness. Can I have sex life beyond porn? If not why bother?

You're not alone, I'm about to be 29 and I've only worked a dead end job at a retail store for 7 years. But would you like to know a secret? I'm not depressed about it, would you like to know why? Because I realized not that long ago actually, that my life isn't going to live itself. I have to choose to live it, I have to choose to make a change, I have to choose to make my life better.

Now I'm registered for classes at my local CDL school and I have a trucking sponser lined up in order to hire me the moment I graduate. It all started with a choice. A choice to change for the better and the realization that only I can live my life. Only you can live your life friend, if you don't like where you are at then make the choice to change.

You are responsible for your life, and what you do with it. No one else is going to live it for you. Tackle one objective at a time, your major issue is that you're juggling to many objectives at once.

I get you want to have an intimate relationship with a woman, so do I and frankly I think all of us single men do (for the most part). You have to focus on one thing at a time, prioritize what you wish to accomplish first. If I was in your shoes I'd focus on ridding myself of PMO first, then whilst doing that put my pent up sexual energy to something else I wish to accomplish. Then when I was disciplined enough I would seek out a woman as my partner.

It all depends on you, I wish you luck friend I hope it gets better for you.

 

MOVE ON, there are women that are easy to know and like to have fun .Women with issues are draining to be around I know from my past experience this to be very true. Trying to fix someone or put up with there problems is a waste of time they have to fix themsevels .

 

The short answer is yes, you can have that.

I think for one your focusing too much on that one specific aspect of your life. Sex isn't everything. It shouldn't define you and your desire for intimacy or sex shouldn't drive your entire life. If you get stuck in the rut of thinking about only sex, you're going to just sit there being depressed and pitying yourself.

You're worth more than that. You're more important than that. You are the only person in this world that will ever be you. Don't take that for granted. Let it drive you to be the best version of yourself you can be.

 

you may not be the only one with issues. so she pulled back. sounded pretty good to me. go slow with her. real slow. stop the pmo no matter what happens between you and her. pmo will never help you . ask her out again and go real slow.

 

be 100% honest with her about your situation.

 

First thing: you have to get off the Sad Horse you’re riding. Shoot it in the head.

Yes you can have a wonderful, fulfilling life. But you need more confidence, pride and belief in yourself. And that’s not going to happen if you’re addicted to porn.

Quit the PMO. That’s the first step.

 

You have to stop.

There is no refuge in porn. It is an empty cave that leads nowhere. It’s hard and seems impossible but you have to get up, start over and go longer than the last time.

 

@Bubblehead Homie, you can have intimate relationships with women. It is what humans were created for. Porn is not what humans were meant for. Try to get a vision of where you want to be socially, not just with women. You can start exploring your own interests and hanging out with people that have similar interests. Start thinking of cool shit that everyone can enjoy. Being a positive awesome person with shit going on and goals is attractive to people in general. Psychocybernetics is a good book. Dont expect things to happen overnight.

PAIN IS GOOD. Remember that you will have to go through pain to get to where you want to go. Like working out. learn to like the pain that is associated with no PMO, because it unlocks new opportunities. Like a video game. Kaizen.

Be like andy dufrane in the movie Shawshank Redemption. Continuous action every day. Even if it is just a little. That motherfucker carved a tunnel with a small rock hammer and made it to where he wanted to go.

Another thing that helped me not get down after a relapse was printing out a calendar and marking an X when I didnt do PMO that day and putting it on a wall. When I relapse its not all that bad because I can see all the X's that I didnt, and it helps me see my progress visually. Set a goal for at least 66 days in a row if possible.

Porn blockers are great as well. Below are the porn blockers I used to neutralize my computer and phone..

1. For my smartphone: get "no incognito mode" app for your phone. Then uninstall google chrome or whatever browser you use. Set a random password for the "no incognito mode", one that you wont remember and throw it away. Then get spin browser and use that for the internet.

2. For your laptop: Get k9 web protection and set a random password that you wont remember. Also get "cold turkey"

Relapsing sucks I know. I have been there. Just 4 days ago I relapsed. You will recover if you give it time. 4 days later and I feel better already. I can see progress. Every day you dont do porn is beneficial for you in some way.