1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

how to reclaim your masculinity?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by jack49383, Aug 17, 2018.

  1. jack49383

    jack49383 Fapstronaut

    22
    7
    3
    for those like me who spent their childhood being abused and emasculated, how do we remasculinise ourselves? is this possible?
     
  2. JoePineapples

    JoePineapples Fapstronaut

    First, you need to work out what your personal definition of masculinity is...
    I listen to a podcast, "The Art of Manliness" which may be of interest to you... It's not about "sex, sports cars and six packs" as a lot of modern Media is, but more focused on living a more virtuous and fulfilling life... Being a better son, brother, friend, husband and father. Very respectful of women, unlike some of the other overly testosterone-y communities. It can be quite " old school" and unashamed in it's admiration for "our grandfather's generation" (to the point of looking through rose tinted spectacles at this mythical time – imho) but, balancing that, it can also be quite up-to-date and science based. Quite a good fit with NoFap – which in itself is a great first step in remasculinising yourself.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2018
  3. thebests

    thebests New Fapstronaut

    4
    4
    3
    you can try to read ''the rational male'' book i heard it is helpful .
    You can search for more book online tho
     
    JoePineapples likes this.
  4. ClaudeDuval

    ClaudeDuval Fapstronaut

    500mg of Testosterone Cypionate... lol jk I would highly recommend Jack Donovan's "The Way of men" and "Becoming a Barbarian"(available on amazon very cheap). Jack Donovan once said "The way of men is the way of the gang" Now what does this mean? It means that masculinity has always thrived most in groups of men where those men hold each other accountable(think of a criminal gang/mafia or the military). If you're hanging around a bunch of women or weak men who shower you with daily affirmations and untamed affection, masculinity will die out and you will simply develop delusions grandeur. "You're so beautiful and were all in touch with the universe bro" That's not what you want... Find a group of strong men to hold you accountable and make sure you are on the path to becoming what Nietzsche called a "more complete man" or a "more complete beast". You will develop more as a man and you will be able to have a tribal group to honor. I would also encourage you to disassociate with weak/lazy parasitic people who are a bad influence. If a group of people want to sit around and watch game of thrones and then play call of duty for 3 hours and drink mtn dew then it's time to cut ties. If they're the type of people who would rather play shooter videos games than run drills with the AR15 at the range then it's time to dump those people. Choose your group as if you were choosing a group of people to rely on if the world was about to collapse. I also think it's good to have a culture based around physical strength, no one in the world would ever say "it's masculine to be physically weak" lol So I would start a weight training program and get a good diet going, this will also help you develop discipline and a more physical culture with confidence. You don't have to become a bodybuilder, simply get off your ass and start doing physical things. Pull ups, sit ups, bench press, running, whatever you want.
     
  5. jack49383

    jack49383 Fapstronaut

    22
    7
    3
    thank you man. thank you all.lots of great solid advice!!!
     
  6. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

    849
    773
    93
    All great advice, and I'd encourage you to write a list of actual changes and the steps you're going to take to reach them, otherwise it will be very easy to not do them. Also, check out Jordan Peterson on youtube. And I don't mean the "Jordan Peterson Owns Cathy Newman" or whatever, I mean his talks and stuff like that. There is a lot about assuming responsibility, becoming a man, and how to find meaning in life.

    If you don't do any of the other things people have suggested, just watch a few five minute videos from Jordan Peterson.
     
    JoePineapples likes this.
  7. Rakan.jr

    Rakan.jr Fapstronaut

    23
    23
    3
    First of all get the mindset of being a great man. This is the most important thing.
     
  8. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    673
    811
    93
    Focusing on your goals learning to be comfortable with yourself.Knowing where you are in life and where you wanna be but loving yourself and accepting yourself.Having your own morals and standards that you wouldn’t break for anyone. Not seeking validation from others and not letting their opinions shape you.Being kind to others and less judgemental of them and of yourself. Getting out of your comfort zone. I can go on but the one thing I guarantee you is the longer you stay on NoFap the more knowledge of self you will gain
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2018
  9. I have serious problems with seeking validation. All my life I've been looking for approval from others in everything I wanted to do. I feel so impotent if I do not have their approval.
     
    Hitto and Nightbynight like this.
  10. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    673
    811
    93
    I also struggle with this but I’m getting better with it just understand that it is out of your control whether people like you are not and the energy trying to please everyone is draining just accept yourself and surrender to others people’s opinions of you because you know who you truly are and who you want to become
     
  11. I had this issue but I have improved a lot over the years.

    I think a big thing was learning to live the way I want and go after things I wanted. Also that pain is good and is your friend if it is in the way of what I want. If others dont agree with me living how I want, then they can choose to slide away. I would then need to let them go. Ability to say no and do what is best for you.

    Baby steps on this.

    do what you want and think is right, not necessarily what others want, and make it happen. Try to build the life that you want.

    Books: Influence by Robert Cialdini (so you can realize you shouldn't listen to other people all the time)
    Rational Male
    Psychocybernetics
    Higher Status Jason Capital
    Elliot Hulse Youtube
    Way of Superior Man
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 22, 2018
    Hitto likes this.
  12. mysecondlifejourney

    mysecondlifejourney Fapstronaut

    223
    150
    43
    In my mid/50’s - survived molestation, SSA, divorce, and a million things. I’m beginning to realize Masculinity is simply being confident and comfortable in your own skin.
     
  13. Oh nice man! I would like to read them. Thanks!
     
  14. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    I suppose, learning when to say no.
     

Share This Page