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Addicted to just masturbation? Also, brain trickery.

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Bigguy4u, Aug 18, 2018.

  1. Bigguy4u

    Bigguy4u Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday I saw the sissy hypno thread on here, and that reminded me of the time I watched that vile stuff a few times. As if to compensate I was having some sexual thoughts of some girls i've been involved with, sitting on my lap and more explicit things I will not mention here. So I couldn't take it and began rubbing and then relapsed, or perhaps I was already relapsing when I began touching myself.

    OFC choking the chicken didn't help and I couldn't stop thinking of sex after that and baited about 5 more times. And yes, I felt like shit afterwards, low self esteem and everything (and still do, for some reason the afterparty of the PMO seems to escape my memory lol) Does this mean I'm more addicted to MO than P? I had no desire to look at porn and hadn't even "taken a peek" beforehand.

    Also, another topic I would like to discuss and which I mentioned earlier was the "compensation". For some reason, whenever I get memories of some of the more degenerate stuff I've watched, I then get thoughts of "normal" sex and have a strong urge to masturbate. It's as if my brain is tricking me into masturbation by making me feel like I need to "prove" that I'm still normal. OFC We must recognize these tricks/triggers and stamp them out before they take hold, but I was wondering if anyone else had similar experiences?
     
  2. aldebr

    aldebr Fapstronaut

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    Hey man I would say that my experience so far has been quite similar. Pretty much only used to masturbate to online porn and, as with many others on here, the porn I was watching escalated to genres which made me quite uncomfortable (transwoman mostly, once to gay)
    But anyway, I haven't found the porn that hard to quit but I do struggle with urge to masturbate to something like a playboy (personally it's video/internet porn that I want to rid myself of, I'm very comfortable with the idea of fapping to a playboy) or some other image of a woman, which I have done numerous times in the last couple of weeks. While it has been reassuring to discover that I can masturbate to such soft material, I don't feel that reassuring yourself if your sexuality is a particularly healthy reason to do so and I'm determined to stop.
    I personally don't think that masturbation is a bad thing, it's the porn that I want to remove from my life but in order to fully do that I think that I need to go an extended period without MO as over the years I have created a strong link between the two.
    So anyway, ya I think I've had a similar experience to you and it's made me more determined to reboot for an extended period and to leave porn very far in my past.
     
    Bigguy4u likes this.
  3. Spectrum

    Spectrum Fapstronaut

    Bro in my experience, when u think about girls and do M,then that particular scene of thought just erases away frm my mind and next time i did M,it was hard to recollect that scene.
    Is it real
     
  4. Bigguy4u

    Bigguy4u Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, definitely not healthy, even if it makes you feel a little better about yourself. In the end it's just the addiction fucking with you.
     
  5. aldebr

    aldebr Fapstronaut

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    Ya well I guess it has reassured me to a large extent but it's also made me realise that most of the time I've masturbated it hasn't been because I've been feeling horny. On reflection, I used to mostly masturbate when I couldn't sleep, hoping it would help. More recently I've been looking for reassurance or trying to relieve anxiety and it's this that I want to stop. I think that if I were to masturbate purely due to being horny then I'd only do it maybe once or twice a week. This is where I want to get back toand I feel that breaking the cycle for a while (rebooting and avoiding PMO) will allow me to restart my whole relationship with masturbation, and leave porn in the past.
     
  6. Bigguy4u

    Bigguy4u Fapstronaut

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    Are you me? I always seem to relapse when I'm sleepy. I also used it as a crutch to relieve anxiety and other negative feelings. Truly an insidious addiction.
     
  7. aldebr

    aldebr Fapstronaut

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    Well I do it more so when I'm not sleepy and hope that fapping will make me sleepy, it's the last thing I'd want to do when actually sleepy!
    I also like to think of it more as a reset or a blip, I think a full relapse for me would be fapping to online pornography. It helps me to think of it as a couple of steps backwards rather than going all the way back to the start.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2018

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