I've relapsed again...and again and again and again and again and again and again FML PLEASE HELP ME

If you have enough money, look into the headspace app and do the foundation packs, the sadness pack, the managing anxiety pack and the pro pack

If you don't then long story short

You're not your thoughts
You're not your feelings
Have enough awareness of your thoughts to notice when you insult yourself
Continue to do what's best for you
Happiness comes from within

Also do easy mode and MO without P every 5-8 days, but you must be serious about it, P IS EVIL, full stop, never go back

 

Probably the worst thing about addiction is the loneliness and isolation it creates. This addiction seems to to create isolation even more due to its ease of use, its easiness to hide and the lack of attention it gets. It’s a perfect storm for depression, loneliness and utter despair.

But you have to work through that shit. All the negative emotions you’re feeling are self perpetuating and the longer you give into them the harder it is to overcome.

1. You need good habits to replace the bad ones. Daily exercise, eating right and daily meditation highly recommended.
2. You have to break your routine you are currently in (which I’m guessing is doing the basic stuff (work, school, etc) and then a lot of PMOing, followed by feeling like shit b/c you PMOed. Lather, rinse repeat. Do something else to break up the routine: walk, jog, sit on a bench and feed birds—anything is more productive than the same old. Preferably something outside in nature.
3. Create a “coping plan.” You need strategies in place to combat the urges when they occur. This is a MUST and a reason you’re failing now
4. Journal Online, in a composition book, Day One or this forum Try to journal daily but at least weekly
5. Get around people even if just to go in Starbucks and drink coffee at a table by yourself—being around people helps. More so if you can do more social things.
6. Stay off the devices that give you access to porn. Have porn blocked as a line of defense

You can beat this but it’s hard, gut wrenching at times. It takes dedication. You will probably mess up but you have to keep improving. Day 1 may be as simple as “I’m not going to look at porn for 3 hours.” Then next it’s 4 hours, then 5.

You can do it.

 

I've been there. We all have I guess.

You may not want to read what I'm going to write, but I'm going to do it anyway: maybe you haven't dropped low enough yet to really find the need to stop watching porn. I've been addicted to quite a few substances: cigarettes, marijuana, cocaine, porn (and to a lesser extent alcohol) and I was only able to quit these when I really, really, really was tired of them.

I stopped smoking marijuana from one day to another and never looked back. It wasn't even hard to stop it, no kidding. But before that, I had to come to the point that I was doing like 7 heavy joints a day: at night, in the early morning (I even woke up for it at 5 in the morning), in the afternoon, in the evening and then some more in the evening. I was living in a continuous marijuana induced bubble, isolated from myself and the world. I failed my studies, I got into a depression. And then finally. FINALLY, I was so totally fed up with it and I just... *snap with fingers* quit, like it was nothing.

We can all tell you to stop watching porn as much as we want, in the end it is you who needs to feel the need to stop and take the necessary actions. We can not do this for you. We can only support you in the decision and give you some advice that may help.

So my advice is: if you really can't stop it, then don't. And wait until you get to that 'rock bottom' point. And then you'll quit successfully.

I don't want to discourage you, just saying what I want to say. I empathize with the difficulty you experience, I really do.

Edit 1: Oh, and yes, some practical advice:
* Find out the root cause of your addiction: what hole in your life are you trying to fill with porn?
* Read about mindfulness/meditation and practice it
* Stop being hard on yourself
* Go outside, work out, go jogging
* Realize that it is your thinking about the past and the future that makes you unhappy. The thinking brain is your real enemy (read about mindfulness, you'll understand).

Edit 2: That self-loathing 'poem' you wrote there at the end of your post. You need to stop viewing yourself like that. Really. This is one of the reasons you keep relapsing: deep downside you think you are not worthy. Just, stop that, okay. It is simply not true.

 

My best advice is to start with cleaner thoughts. I'm horny because I think horny, but I have a choice to stop it. I can't control the moments when I start fantasizing about sex, but as soon as I notice such thoughts I can stop them.

Second, you should really find someone IRL to talk about it. This helps me a lot. I have a few friends in my local Narcotics Anonymous community who understand my problem. In your case, if you can't find someone offline, try at least to find someone to chat with.

 

I would get a calendar, print it out and put it up on your wall. Then mark an X through it once you dont use P. get a string of X's going. This has helped me.

 

I joined this site few months ago but then i stopped (relapse) and continue again. I've read so many post and comments and i found your comment as convincing and one of the best so far.

 

The above method is how I stopped my other bad habits like drinking and harming myself. For the longest time I had this really bad habit of chewing the inside of my mouth, picking my nails, and destroying my feet when I was bored. It was a nervous habit that I had since I was in the single digits in age. I tried to actively stop doing several times but kept failing. Roughly 8 months ago, there came a point when I wanted to really start getting in shape. The problem was that I was walking around with a limp all the time because of my habit. Eventually I got tired of the constant pain and did it less and less. Then I stopped doing it completely. I too got to the point where I was fed up with it so it made it pretty easy to stop. Looking back, I can't believe I was able to stop this. I thought I would never be able to stop this but I did it.

So long story short, the above method works.

 

For the record I love your poem. I can totally relate

 

PIED did it for me. The fact that I couldn't get a hard-on, even with a hot woman sucking my dick, pretty much was my motivation to quit watching porn. I don't know if that is of any help, but you are certainly headed for that ( if you aren't already there) if you keep on the path you've been on.

 

i will help you, why? Because are willing to help yourself and i admire that.
Private message me. I'm at Day 141

 

These guys all gave you good advice.

The best one is the hardest to do, because it’s embarrassing.
But it’s totally worth it.
Tell someone in real life.
You need to get outside help with this.
And limit all devices that give you access to porn.

Lock down your phone. Disable the browser.
Delete Apps
Only use a computer in front of others.

I don’t know how your family situation is but if you were my son, i would want you to come to me and get help.
I assume you have parents who care about you.
That might be a good place to start.

Again, just an idea, i don’t know what things are like for you at home.

 

Hello,
Are really sure about that? I came to realise that when you want to stop this habit you really have to be all about it, no half stepping but all the way. I feel like you're agreeing with that statement as a means to hide behind your crave and continue to PMO. If not so then be aware of your doings if you're going to continue till rock bottom.

 

Bro do read this,
It got me through some strong urges.
http://husbandhelphaven.com/porn-addiction-withdrawal-walkthrough/
All the very best!!