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18 years is enough

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018.

  1. Aug 19, 2018 #1
    Frank Doe

    Frank Doe New Fapstronaut

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    I’ve been an addict for over 18 years. Finally told my wife today. She was very understanding. I’ve been having withdrawals for three months. Crying, suicidal thoughts, anxiety and depression. The shame I feel is overwhelming. My brain is trying to reel me back in with visions of every photo and video I’ve ever seen. I can’t sleep at night. I’m 7 days PMO free and it’s driving me insane. The thoughts of ending my life are so strong because I know I can’t kick this habit. It was my escape from reality. And now I have no idea what my reality is. The edging 4 times a Day has totally destroyed my head. Morning, noon and night. Sometimes for 6 hours a day. My doctor prescribed celexa without knowing my addiction. I’m on day 4 and have no idea if taking it will help. My wife and kids depend on me and I have no idea how I’m going to survive this.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2018
    Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018
    Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018
    #1
  2. Aug 19, 2018 #2
    reconditioned mind

    reconditioned mind Fapstronaut

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    You’re in the right place.
     
    reconditioned mind, Aug 19, 2018
    reconditioned mind, Aug 19, 2018
    #2
  3. Aug 19, 2018 #3
    Becoming Jasmine

    Becoming Jasmine Fapstronaut

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    It can be really REALLY hard to break habits and addictions we’ve held for years and years and years.

    But the great thing here is that you’re here now! You’ve finally admitted to having a problem, and your taking steps to try and correct it!

    It sucks, and it’s probably going to suck for awhile longer, but with a lot of willpower, it will start to get better.

    It might help to find some other place to put your energy. If PMO is the thing you do before you go to sleep, try working out before heading to bed so you’ll go straight to sleep! If you always do it in the morning before getting out of bed, try getting out of bed as soon as you awake!

    These are just things that have helped me in the past, but they might work for you too!

    Good luck!
     
    Becoming Jasmine, Aug 19, 2018
    Becoming Jasmine, Aug 19, 2018
    #3
  4. Aug 19, 2018 #4
    Highlander01

    Highlander01 Fapstronaut

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    Damn dude. I’ve been an addict for over 20 yrs and can’t seem to kick it either. Let’s give it a maximum effort this time. You’re already at 7 days so congratulations on that, well done. Keep the streak going and stop the “ending my life” talk. Don’t let yourself utter those words. I’ll support your effort if you’ll support mine. Deal ?
     
    Highlander01, Aug 19, 2018
    Highlander01, Aug 19, 2018
    #4
  5. Aug 19, 2018 #5
    Frank Doe

    Frank Doe New Fapstronaut

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    I’m at a 12 step meeting. First time meeting. The entire way here I’ve thought about jumping in front of a train. Might be the anti depressants talking to me. I don’t know. All I know is I’m ashamed of who I am and the reality of quitting this is overwhelming.
     
    Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018
    Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018
    #5
  6. Aug 19, 2018 #6
    Frank Doe

    Frank Doe New Fapstronaut

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    My mind keeps flashing pictures and memories of things I want to forget. It’s reminding me who I am and won’t let me go.
     
    Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018
    Frank Doe, Aug 19, 2018
    #6

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