Getting back on track!

Relapsed last night after a 19 day reboot. For me Day 21-30 of a reboot has always been the toughest. My goal in this reboot is to post on this thread at least 1x every day. I will be posting mainly for accountability purposes. I also feel I have some insight to give back to the community in the form of my writings or links to motivational material that can help in other areas of one's life.

 

@ fireblaster
Thanks for the link. It’s very relatable to me, given that 3-4 weeks has aleays been tough. My relapses are weird though. When I relapse, I binge only one night, then I can get back on track and not PMO for 2-3 weeks straight. Around day 21-28, when I feel like im finaly in the clear, and then something happens where my mind is in an uninhibited state and I delve into another relapse. Did you use porn blockers to get past the initial 30 day? Or did u limit access to your devices at specific times of the day? FYI I’m a single guy.

 

Day 3. Going to bed now. Removing phone from bedroom.

 

Day 4: Was a pretty uneventful day today. I worked in the morning and came back home and studied. Just keeping myself busy with life is very helpful to avoid thoughts and urges. Rewatching some old BWGIA videos on YouTube. I really like his NoFap channel.
@tiba: I like your strategy. Instead of immediately setting a 90 day reboot goal, just try to make it 2-3 days longer than I did in my last reboot.
I can then implement @fireblaster method is not typing porn content into search bar.

It seems I have to trick my brain in order to train it to not crave porn, or to at least reduce the cravings that it creates.
I’m finding that I can trick my brain to reduce anxiety as well. I will go more into this topic in tomorrow’s post

 

Found this video on BWGIA

Will comment about it later today.

 

Another great video by Noah Church. Well delivered

 

The last video I posted details some effective strategies for successful rebooting. Check it out. One of the recommendations that i'm trying out right now is making my environment safe at nights. I usually relapse at nights using my smart phone. So before I get home at night, i put my phone in the mailbox, which is located around 10 minutes (walking) from my house.

I also want to get in touch with Coach Church for a counseling session. I really need to physically talk to someone who understands my struggles with PMO and PIED. I haven't been able to talk to anyone about PIED for over 8 years now. I need to open up about this to a physical person. Digital communication is not enough sometimes.

 

Thanks man. Still have yet to do the coaching session. Constantly making up excuses. There is so much that needs to change in my life right now. Just rebooting from porn is not enough. Last night I briefly watched porn again. Gave into the curiosity, the urge for a few minutes without MO or edging. Shut down my computer and went to bed. Couldn't really sleep however because dopamine spike kept my brain alert. Tonight I will also get rid of my computer in addition to my phone. I need to reach my short term goal of No PMO.

However, the sexual repression is killing me. Going to the gym and meditation are not enough to quell the sexual energy I have. In fact, my slip-up occurred after coming home from the gym. last night was tough. I was at the gym in my neighborhood around 10 pm. It was only me and this other really attractive girl in the gym. She was wearing shorts that should be considered women's panties, and she was bending over and squatting, constantly showing off her ass while she as working out. I tried to avoid looking at her. And I am not in a positino to really initiate any relationships right now, which is really frustrating. I just tried to ignore her. but i couldn't. I tried to get her image out of my mind. But i couldn't I just held on to the sexual energy to a crippling degree. that was probably the main trigger for the slip-up. I'm just horny and frustrated. Frustrated with my life, my lack of a sex-life, my job which over-works me and underpays me.


Solution: CHANGE everything! This week I have to make some major decisions on my career, living situation, and sex-life. I WILL make it to day 30 no PMO!