Fuck the world

LoL no offense but you are so much on the wrong track. I would really recommand you to take a year alone in some very remote place, leave all your bad habits at once and live a very regular simple lifestyle for a year. It would help tremendously, heal body and mind. Can be done with very little money. Anyway it's better than self sabotage.
Where are you from? who takes speed at fuckin 7?

 

Damn man I hope you get better and find the lord within yourself and push through these trials and tribulations!!

 

You obviously are in a very low spot in your life and I'm sorry you have lost your self esteem and are drowning in self pity. God is always there for you and wants nothing more than life for you. I too have dug myself out of some pretty deep holes and use PMO often to seemingly douse the pain of it all. There is hope for you as " God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing, all you need is faith. You are amazing and I'll pray for you.

 

I think no one here can change how you feel about yourself. So unfortunately unless you choose to do otherwise, you will probably stay like this for a while. I hope you turn things around and realize this is not the way to go. Good luck

 

Don't die, you are wanted.

 

You can do it, and you know better what you need than your familly. Believe me. I have a similar story in some way, although i never used drugs. I was very messed up, and i had to give myself time to make progress. But you have to be very commited about it. I don't know where you are but you really can do it easily, and then go back to school at 21 or 22 yrs old. totally doable. just don't do it halfway, or still smoke and party. No go somewhere very rural, get a small job or save money and stay there, in solitude and contemplation. then you will go back to normal life.

 

WOW
CALL THIS NUMBER NOW
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Provides help to those in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

 

Hello,

I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling. Rebooting has its ups and downs, just like life. We see many people experiencing both the ups and downs during the reboot, and though it may be hard to see now, these feelings you are having won’t last forever. It will get better with time, if you are patient and wait.

In the meantime, please seek professional help. I know the idea of calling a helpline might terrify you, but in times of crisis, we often need someone their to put our lives in perspective. So please contact someone who can help and don’t hang up on them. The International Association for Suicide Prevention maintains a list of suicide prevention hotlines for countries all over the world. Also, if you don’t feel up to actually talking to someone on the phone, StopSuicide maintains a list of online instant messaging and chat suicide prevention resources.

You are not alone in this. There are ways to treat depression. Please contact people that can help you. Being depressed often makes it feel like you don’t have any more options. But that is a lie. That is just the depression talking. These feeling you have won’t last forever. We are in this with you, and we will all be cheering for you to get through this!

 

I understand the pain of constant suicidal thoughts, but try to think it about this way: The suicidal thoughts are basically a signal from your subconscious mind to tell you that something needs to change in your life. A dramatic change to ego and lifestyle, a symbolic death & rebirth needs to happen, so to say. And it seems you do know what part of you must be get rid of. I think that spending time alone away from others might be a good idea. In that way you should be able to confront your deepest thoughts and change them, if you really surrender to the experience. That's at least worked for me enough to give me strength again to try longer streaks after my last serious relapse.
Remember, change comes in small steps.

/Edit. I think i should also clarify that if going hermit terrifies you greatly, then it might not be the best solution. As someone before me said, professional help can be a good solution as well.

 

If I would be you

1. Quit all drugs. PMO? No, it's not that important. You can use the PMO as a tool to get rid of all those fucking drugs first. Drugs will get you nowhere. Just do everything you can to take the drugs out. Get clean from them, fill the space with something healthier, perhaps play games on computer, walk in a park, do all that normal stuff, read books. You will save money this way and you'll be step closer to paradise.
2. Start walking. Walk a lot.
3.

Don't do this- delete instagram account. actually, delete all pornographic material from your phone. Cut off your "relationships" with these types of person.
4. quit pmo, but do not use drugs to help you. It defeats the purpose of getting rid of porn.

So how to do all this:
Energy management;
Walk, eat and sleep.
Self management;
Lay down, relax, listen your feelings. If they are screaming to you that you should quit, then you can quit. Just do as those feelings say.

That is all you need. It's hard, it's tough, it's necessary.

 

No doubt drugs need to stop. Pmo needs to stop as well. Serotonins are being burnt out from drugs and pmo.

Ask yourself what do you desire?

 

When I get frustrated I listen to some Pac:

 

Hello mate, I am sorry for what you faced, but really life doesn't stand for a person at all unless if that person is one of your parents or sibling, if you give yourself sometime.. you will come to know that life is more than a girl who left you.. it aint worthy. Secondly, about drugs.. you really need to get rid of it, and I think you need support to help you in stopping it and there is no shame in that, the community that recognises drugs as an addiction is bigger than nofap.
After that start looking for different things in your life, there is a lot there trust me.
And finally start the nofap journey. Step by step.. all will be fine, but firstly stop the drugs thingy then other things will come at their appropriate times to leave.

 

Bro I know how you feel I went through the same shit when I quit smoking and now quoting this isn't gonna be easy, I still feel suicidal but I don't give up bro , find your inner self that is gonna guide you through this bullshit

 

mister, stop beeing a vitcim of your self Find help at a AA group. I had the same problems like you, but i', totally clean. Not even sugar and caffeine anymore. So, stop seeing yourself as a big victim, but as an oppurtunity and go help yourself!

 

Hello there! I really understand what u feel.I am also a porno and drug addict I think this is the worst combo.First step first u need to understand that drugs is just a way to escape reality all that xtc lsd weed speed.Probably u did this things cause youre reality sucks but drugs are not the answer.U need to stay here, away from those things and handle your porn addiction.It's not easy but first quit drugs and after that try to quit porn.In my opinion porn it's harder to quit cause the is fundamental to your brain.It is not easy but please understand until u try there is always a chance to quit these things.Don't give up everybody here is trying to help u.I wish u the best.