Relapse relapse relapsed

Stand up and do it again, don't look back now, if you managed to reach 40 days you can do even more, stay strong.

 

Did you notice any benefits during your streak?

 

KrmGrn,

Sorry to hear about the relapse, but don't sweat it. Look at all the benefits that you found in your 40-day streak "Definitely noticed a lot of benefits. More time, more confidence, less shame, better sex, better relationship with my girlfriend (appreciating her more, thinking about her more), more energy..."

Relapses happen. Time to start over and continue appreciating how much better your life has become since you have decided to fight this addiction.

Good luck and enjoy the journey without feeling guilty for a relapse.

 

How was it to go pass 30 days? Were there any huge withdrawls during the first week ot two?Cause Im planning on going pass 90 days.I just want to know how you stayed away from MO and PMO for during of your past steak,good luck on your next streak.

 

I went without internet last year for a couple of weeks but I would break down and masturbate once in a while, but I think this was for the better because I didn't masturbate to porn, I masturbated to people, and the thoughts were organic. Porn messes with your mind more than just masturbation, its fantasizes are messed up, treatment of partners disturbing, and just makes sex look awful. The point of the story is that if you're gonna masturbate try to do it without the help of porn.

 

I almost relapsed just now. It started with raging boners & 'waking dreams' of giving into pleasuring these boners, although I didn't really touch one it was just massive morning wood, and then regretting it or getting super frustrated that I wasn't allowing myself to masturbate. Woke up flustered, started using the computer, was looking for nature pics on a wallpaper site, came across a bikini model, clicked the picture to enlarge it, searched her name out of curiosity and to see her face better. Then started browsing surfing pics, saw a couple female surfers in bikinis in the process, and then got off the computer and meditated.

It wasn't a relapse. I'm not going to feel guilty about being curious over a bikini model. If I were to have visited one of the erotica sites I use to frequent I would surely have reset my counter. I was really thinking about edging to some erotica after all that happened. The pain is dissipating now.

I know for sure though I need to find a relationship with a woman after my reboot, some people just are not meant to live alone, and I'm one of them. I want a genuine committed relationship, that's what I kept telling myself to not relapse. I was saying I had no right to look at any woman online sexually, that that's not even what I want, what I want is to be in a relationship.

Damn, what a flustering morning. No more visiting desktopnexus.com, and no more searching for surf or kiteboarding pictures.

 

Ever read this quote by C.S. Lewis? Just wanted to share it, so no one "comes to love the prison" so to speak.

"For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back: sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…. And it is not only the faculty of love which is thus sterilized, forced back on itself, but also the faculty of imagination.

The true exercise of imagination, in my view, is (a) To help us to understand other people (b) To respond to, and, some of us, to produce, art. But it has also a bad use: to provide for us, in shadowy form, a substitute for virtues, successes, distinctions etc. which ought to be sought outside in the real world—e.g. picturing all I’d do if I were rich instead of earning and saving. Masturbation involves this abuse of imagination in erotic matters (which I think bad in itself) and thereby encourages a similar abuse of it in all spheres. After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison."

 

The problem is C.S. Lewis wasn't alive when porn was widely available for free, and was extreme as it is today. Now I'm not saying it's ok to masturbate, obviously the reason we're here is because porn and masturbation have taken control of our lives and we want it back, but if someone should fall to the urge then they should try to minimize the damage by going with fantasy instead of videos or pictures.